by Trevanian 43 Replies latest jw friends
Most of the people I've met since I left don't know that I spent years of my life as a door knocker.
I have very dear friends who don't know. I've even had lovers who didn't know.
My last partner knew, and found it vaguely amusing.
I guess I find it deeply embarrassing, although over the years it's become easier to mention it.
Still, I think most people wouldn't understand, so I just leave it out of my autobiography, even though it shaped decisions that make me who I am today.
It seems a little hard to explain, I sometimes felt that way too.
For me, I think I first mentioned it after I got comfortable with the fact that JW's didn't have the truth, and that nobody really does. That was about 2 months after the last meeting I attended, and when I was reading "Crisis of Conscience".
Now I wait until I know someone a while, because it would seem a bit odd if the first thing out of your mouth after meeting somebody was "I used to be a JW". But after they get to know me a while, and we talk about various subjects, then inevitably it comes up. I let it be known, because as you said it is a part of me. Maybe it's easy for me to bring up because I can say I don't see my parents, and here's why....
As long as I make it clear that this JW thing is well in my past, nobody's had a problem with me after I mentioned it.
I haven't told anyone outside of my family for 24 years. (I was disfellowshipped 24 years ago)
For the longest time, that subject was taboo. The only people who knew I had been one were those who knew me at that time. Now, I let the conversation dictate whether I bring it up. I'm not in a hurry to put the spotlight on my less then impressive past, but I'm finaly OK with it.
I have only told a few girlfriends and they are very sympathetic.
When I have told men that I have dated, its a real turnoff.
I imagine things go through their heads right off, NO holidays, door knockers, some know about no blood transfusions, no higher education. JW's are thought of as freaks.
So, I must find clever ways to avoid talking about it.
purps
I don't mind who I tell right now and yes it is a turn off to any prospective would be admirers but I'm in the frame of mind where if I have to 'sell' who I am to fit their illusion then they're a complete turn off to me. Any one worth my time won't be impressed by bullshit which unfortunately rules out most all of my family! But at least I wont have to pussyfoot around peoples crystal glass delusions of grandeur!
All of my friends know and they are very curious about it and ask me a lot of questions that I'm happy to answer.
In the first 15 minits maybe...It is my lifes work now to let the WORLD Know how evil it is to get into a cult.
Where ever I am.... if a converstion starts I am right in there telling of my 25 years in hard labor.
A funny time was , one of the support group who was studying with the JWS when she first came ,was married to a drunk ( nice fellow but an alcholic) he was out every weekend leaving her with the two kids . She told me she was putting her foot down & was going out herself the next weekend. She did
About 2 months later she came crying telling me she was pregnant....BUT that weekend she went out with all her old school,buddies had ended up with a sexual encounter SO!!! What to do???? She had 2 options in my opinion Let her hubby think it was his, confess to him about the OOPS,She then said Her hubby had a vasectomy-???? The only advice I could give was to come clean & tell her hubby.she did...
He called me to say he was leaving her.... I tried to reason with him explaining the drinking was his oops, the sex had been hers,but he left .....He later called after a couple of weeks to say he would go home only after she aborted it.What to do???? I am not in harmony in this stage of life with abortions ,but she had no car ,& lived out in the country no bus etc to get to the abortion clinic -she begged me to help. I DID!!!! We were locked in a HOSPITAL room with four other Mothers with children 13? 14?yrs old they were letting these children abort,,,,, They started to talk about the Preists, Nun,( they were all Catholics)" having it on" The one of them started to discuss the only religion she thought was right was JWS ....... At that point a Nurse came out & moved me away from them to sit in another area, I asked why? she explained that my "charge" had told the DR that I did NOT approve of abortion I was just here to give her help as she had no one else & was going to do it anyway.
The women were still on about the Wonderful JWS ----So the voice of experience spent the next hour to tell them of all the wrong things about that cult....I had prayed about going, but I also felt to see this woman walking this distance after an abortion would be unkind - she had to answer to her maker....I was already going to answer to mine.So I truly felt that these four women & their kids had been given "inside "info" Been there done that"
Sorry it took so long, But I believe if you see a kid run out in front of a car you should help him stop. Going into the WT is worse than being hit by a car in MHO
Trevanian, Hello. I've been out of the tower since 83. I only tell people about my wacky past in the wactower if it comes up and then not always. It depends on what kind of conversation I am in. I work midnights as a detention officer. Sometimes in the wee hours people with time on their hands start pondering the significance and meaning of life, if I happen to be with a new officer who is searching, I will mention my youth and going down the wrong road looking for God.
As I do not consider myself a JW and have not for years I rarely bring it up. If it comes up I always try and show in as a kind a way as possible, why I am no longer there; such as their latent misogyny, anti education stance and their mind control techniques. On a more personal level I point that they are only pro family if you are all in, if not they are at best intolerant.
By doing this use what may be a ticklish situation to advantage
llbh
