btw the way Hi Trevanian & welcome here
llbh
How long before you tell people you were once a Jehovah's Witness?
by Trevanian 43 Replies latest jw friends
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bem
It depends on the person and the conversation, when religion comes up I mention it then. While I was in college (this being over the last two year) religion came up a lot in sociology, psychology and philosophy classes I was forthright then right away and the instructors were happy to ask me questions and use my expierinces as a kind of live way to interject what kind of effects a cult or strict religion could have on a person.made for interesting conversations.
People will freeze a lot of times when they hear it also, beings how I seem to bring it up when I want a conversation stopped * "in-your-face-religions" can be talk stoppers, for "in-your-face-fanatics"
*no pain intended for truely loving christians
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dogisgod
Used to. Not anymore. What's the point? They have no frame of reference. If it's important to the conversation I will say what I know without admitting to have been there unless I have to. I will, of course, inform newbies of certain things if they ask.
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Gopher
DIG:
Used to. Not anymore. What's the point?
I'm in favor of educating people (when the occasion arises) about how bad the JW's actually are. Lately I was able to do this at a couple different family reunions, and with my roommate's girlfriend. I found that the conversation went that way, and once they found out I was fully out of it, they actually asked questions about it and learned a lot that may make them Witness-proof in the future. At the second family reunion, I may have helped a second cousin decide to stop a doorstep study JW's were conducting with her (like about 5 minutes a week).
Purps:
When I have told men that I have dated, its a real turnoff.
I imagine things go through their heads right off, NO holidays, door knockers, some know about no blood transfusions, no higher education. JW's are thought of as freaks.
So, I must find clever ways to avoid talking about it.
Well i haven't been dating, so my comments are mainly an observation rather than first-hand experience.
If your JW past is a turnoff, is it because they didn't yet know you well enough to put that past JW experience of yours in proper context? My thought is that once somebody gets to know and like you, and if they can understand that your JW-ness is way back in your past, they shouldn't have to fear that it'll pop up again, or that you'll be asking them if they're saved or any such nonsense like that.
Yes JWs are thought of as freaks. That's why you're so glad you're not one any more!!
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purplesofa
If your JW past is a turnoff, is it because they didn't yet know you well enough to put that past JW experience of yours in proper context?
Yeah, I don't know them well. You just gotta understand the area I live in. Everyone knows your business, or knows someone that knows someone that knows someone.
The idea of someone that was in such a strange religion is alot for some people to grasp. I am not far along enough in healing to handle comments or questions that well.
Or maybe I havent met a guy yet that is worth knowing me that deeply. One that could appreciate the person that I have become, I am very needy in the understanding and communication and lets not be judgemental department when it comes to dating.
If my past helps weed out jerks, then sobeit........
but talking about it, being asked about it, is still a very sensitive spot with me, and anyone with half a brain and compassion in them will pick up on it. Probably sounds like too much psycological baggage to deal with.
I don't know, did I answer your question.
purps
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Gopher
Ms. Sofa,
I really agree with these points:
Or maybe I havent met a guy yet that is worth knowing me that deeply. One that could appreciate the person that I have become,.......If my past helps weed out jerks, then sobeit........
Spot on.
Listen, everyone has their quirks and everyone has history. A mature person will appreciate that. Anybody who pretends they're quirk-less and judges you by what you FORMERLY believed is not worth the time of day. You deserve better friends than that !
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Amber Rose
Usually, telling new people that I used to be a JW isn't something that I like to do. However, I had to get a new hairdresser (old one is still JW). So, she asks me what I'm doing for the holidays, and I was like, "Oh. Uh, I don't know." - awkward pause. Then I thought, that sounded retarded so, either explain why you're a retard or just be retarded. So I said, this is my first year celebrating, my family never celebrated because they were JWs. It turned out that her parents used to be JW's too and we had a pretty interesting conversation.
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Trevanian
PS. Thanks llbh, but ...
btw the way Hi Trevanian & welcome here
... I think today is my one year anniversary on JWD!
Haven't posted much here in the last year, because I was very active on Thoms.
RIP Thomschat.
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*summer*
I am not a JW so I am not too sure my post applies. In any case...
I was having company last weekend...very good friends. And I made a point of putting away and out of sight everything JW related...Bible, books, magazines...EVERYTHING!!! I did not want anyone to see it.
I think it speaks for itself...
*summer*
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Trevanian
Amber Rose, love your story.
So, she asks me what I'm doing for the holidays, and I was like, "Oh. Uh, I don't know." - awkward pause. Then I thought, that sounded retarded so, either explain why you're a retard or just be retarded. So I said, this is my first year celebrating, my family never celebrated because they were JWs. It turned out that her parents used to be JW's too and we had a pretty interesting conversation.
I guess it makes us somewhat interesting, at the end of the day.
We've had cult experience. How many people do you know who can say that?