How the JWs helped me

by larc 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • jterfehr
    jterfehr

    I disagree with this premis. The positive things you expressed could have been gained from just about any christian religion, if it was followed. Futher, many of the positive attributes were probably there anyway. While it's true JW's have helped people find their way out of a reched life, so have Baptists, Protestents, Catholics ect ect ect. Only they don't cut you off from your loved ones.

  • larc
    larc

    jter,

    I was not comparing and contrasting the JWs with any other religion. I was discussing the unique situation of those who have left the Witness culture and how to more positively deal with the residual effects of that experience.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    What's this?

    The Stockholm Syndrome hour?

    Let's see, I'm grateful that I was able to breathe several million times while I was associated with the WTS. Thanks to them my bowel movements were regular and not at all unpleasant.

    Can any one give me an example of one single thing of value that they "got" from the WTS that they could not have received in greater abundance elsewhere?

    I will not give them credit for a single thing in my life - in all possible ways, my life would have been better if the WTS never existed!

  • larc
    larc

    Nathan,

    As I wrote before, I was raised in it, so I have no way of knowing how much good or bad I would have had in a different environment. My only point here is that it is a good idea to take what ever cards life has dealt you and make the most of it.

  • Bridgette
    Bridgette

    I appreciate the efforts of this post. Perhaps it will be healing to some to try to find some positives. However, for too many of us, the negatives FAR outweighed the positives. In fact, I have tried this before, in my own journey towards healing to find some positives, so that I could feel that my whole life up to now had not been wasted. The only thing I have ever been able to come up with is this:
    the strict measuring stick they gave me to weigh other religions (especially the Churches of Christendom, they LOVE to HATE), I was able to use against them. They came up sorely deficient by their own standards. Oh, and I learned to read the bible ad nauseum, and this has helped me in reading other holy books, and my journey towards integrating many teachings on my path to enlightenment. I'm quite positive that I would have accomplished enlightenment far more quickly, however if I'd not been raised in a cult. It would've been so much easeir. I don't know, maybe it's easier if you "came in" via the witnessing work, and were afforded some miraculous conversion instead of having it crammed down your throat from birth on. My childhood was HELL. Most of my 20's: HELL. Finally I am free. I chose not to dwell on the negatives too much outside of what I need to occasionally vent in order to remain healthy. But as far as positives--hard pressed to find ANY that weren't squashed by the GARGANTUAN negatives. Too many of us who grew up in the "truth" were abused as children. Most would not have been if not for borgish policies. Hard to find positives about that.
    Good post, nonetheless. This can probably be a sincere tool for some. I'm sure it helps many to not totally regret all the years they sacrificed of theirs and their childrens' lives to the publishing empire. Whatever helps you on your journey.
    Peace,
    Bridgette

  • ISP
    ISP

    Larc,

    I think there are some good things about JW upbringing. I've left but it taught me some good things. Reading/studying is easy....relatively easy anyway. Anyone thats had to study 'Gods Kingdom of A Thousand Years Has Approached' can take on most stuff!

    The lack of concern over race is also good.

    You have to make the most of life and get on with it. Crying over spilt milk is unproductive.

    ISP

  • Budda Belly
    Budda Belly

    Help?

    What help..

    They did help me find the door
    out of the Kingdom Hall.

  • waiting1
    waiting1

    Aw.......come on, even in a funny way - there are good things. We've had a thread like this before and the one response that I remember was:

    "In college, I can sit through the most dull lecture and stay awake, even look like I'm taking notes while actually dozing."

    I can identify.

    Good things? My second husband (20 yrs now.)

    Stability - and I had a lousy upbringing, and I needed that stability, one way or another, to survive.

    The ability to talk to strangers and overcome their shyness - and mine. I had incredibly shy years in my life. No, damn it, I did. It all depended on where my brain/memory was residing. Wretched, in fact, those years. Ever try to hide huge red marks on your neck from nerves while trying to talk? Stomach muscles doubled up in spasms? Voice quivering so much can't be understood? Gasping for air? Ain't easy.

    The ability to pick something apart.

    The ability to speak up to those in obviously higher authority than ourselves.

    Some good friendships along the way. Three fine children.

    Maybe I would have had this anyway? No, I don't think so. You see, with my background with my father, I think I would have gone either into the Viet Nam era of military (probably nurse) or to live with my aunt & attend university where she taught. She was rabid and radical, and I probably would have followed her lead. Either way, I think my mind would have flipped - and not for the good.

    Would I live this way again - by choice? No. But who has choices in the present that they totally comprehend?

    Thanks, Larc - good topic.

    waiting

  • proplog2
    proplog2

    Larc:

    If I were to post what you did I would be jumped on for being a JW apologist. But what you wrote was a sign of a creative and mature mind. Nothing (almost nothing) is all good or all bad.

    I think you may be giving JW's more credit than they deserve in some areas. A lot of "traits" that you feel they developed were probably inherited abilities and tendencies.

    These are areas that they didn't help me:

    1. Exposed me to ignorant street people I would never have associated with except for being a JW. This has not helped me. I really have a tendency to overate my abilities because most of the people at the hall (midwestern industrial rust-belt town) were practically illiterate.

    2. Taught me to be anti-science.

    3. Taught me that I must accept certain human authorities as the last word.

    4. Taught me that holy spirit gives people their special abilities. I actually believed that any talents I had were only given me so that I could serve God and the congregation. I thought that if I left the "truth" I would become a worthless idiot.

    I have raised my kids to only associate with their intellectual equals even if they have to go outside the congregation to find friends.

    As a reaction to the anti-science I have gone too far and tend to trust in scientism.

    I have raised my kids to question every authority including "parental" authority.

    I have worked hard with my kids to discover their abilities, aptitudes, temperament, vocational interests so that they can do the work they are sutited for.

  • waiting1
    waiting1

    Hey Pro,

    I have raised my kids to only associate with their intellectual equals even if they have to go outside the congregation to find friends.

    As a reaction to the anti-science I have gone too far and tend to trust in scientism.

    I have raised my kids to question every authority including "parental" authority.

    I have worked hard with my kids to discover their abilities, aptitudes, temperament, vocational interests so that they can do the work they are sutited for.

    Well, see there - good did come from it. You reached out to *better* the way you raised your children over the way you were raised. Now, you may have done that anyway - but most likely not in those specific areas.

    I might rethink that one about questioning "parental authority" however. They do that naturally. Not only questioning, challenging, down right rebellion against! Teenagers............

    waiting

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