Are You A More "Moral" Person Now Than When You Were A Witness?

by minimus 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Lady Lee

  I think in my early years as a JW I followed the pack and didn't pay much attention to those little stads of conscience telling me what I was doing was immoral

  By my late 20s those stabs of conscience were becoming harder to ignore

  and by my early 30s my moral code was strongly asserting itself and making me physically sick. I could no longer ignore it but I saw no way out other than suicide

  Asserting myself a couple of times, to elders no less, felt right but resulted in fear.

  A non-JW friend told me

  Not making a decision ismaking a decision

  From that point on I began to take back my life

  and that means my moral code is mine and not forced from the outside
• 

  minimus

  so, morality doesn't really involve how society views things. It's simply for us to say that we are moral, therefore, we are. Hmmmm.
• 

  Xena

  Depends on whose set of morals you're judging by.

  Yep. Therefore I wouldn't say I'm more moral. I'm just moral by a different set of standards, mine.
• 

  changeling

  Hmmm... no that's not what I said...

  Avoinding harm is by definition the "right" thing to do (aka moral).

  When you lie, cheat, steal, murder, abuse a position of power, litter, sleep with another person's spouse... you cause harm. In trying to avoid causing harm you act "morally".

  You don't need a bunch of rules and regulations to be "moral".

  In fact, many who are sticklers for rules and regs cause harm by their actions because they follow "the letter of the law", but fail to see that sometimes in breaking a rule they may be acting more humanely.

  When we put rules before human needs we are not acting morally, IMHO.

  changeling
• 

  Lady Lee

  changeling
• 

  R.Crusoe

  My morality has evolved into a place that is more comfortable with the human beings that we all are. Too high a moral value guarantees a conflict with who and what we are to an extent that it forces over reactions, both at a personal, local and wider level. So in than sense I feel that too high a moral spin on the world... - is immoral!
• 

  mamochan13

  I now follow a new moral code, one that is not dictated by a handful of "old white guys". My moral code says that sex between two people who are in a committed relationship is okay even if they are not married, and that such behaviour does not merit a person losing family and friends. My moral code says love thy neighbour and show it by doing charitable works, taking part in social activism, voting, etc., not by condemning my neighbour to death if he or she does not believe the same as I do. My moral code dictates that I am humble towards others instead of sanctimoniously believing myself to be better than others because I am in possession of "the truth".

  I could go on, but writing these examples has made me realize that my morals have actually improved.
• 

  llbh

  More moral but that is not difficult for a male ex jw. In the wts there is no thinking required therefore ur on a personal level amoral as your morality is by and large subsumed by theirs. The wts is misogynist, anti gay, anti thought, etcetera. I have returned to what i used to think by and large but experience adding its patina

  llbh
• 

  sweetstuff

  Yes, without a doubt. I spent many years, lieing to myself and others, in order to tow the line in the WTS. I lied about how I felt about certain doctrines, I lied everytime I went to a door and told someone I was so happy to be sharing in the door to door ministry. Leaving freed me to become a much more moral, loving and kind person.

  So, on a moral checklist before leaving and after leaving, according to society's standards:

  1. Honesty- as a dub, often decietful, after being a dub, almost always honest.

  2. Kindness- as a dub, acting kind, while snorting behind closed doors how screwed the rest of mankind was, after being a dub- actually taking the time to put myself in someone else's shoes and understand where they are coming from, verus judging them.

  3. Covetness- as a dub, I was jealous of others freedom, wealth, education, relationships...after being a dub, I feel joy when someone else succeeds and truly look inward for fufillment, not outwards.

  4. Virtue- as a dub, that translated in to self righteous gloating of my moral "superiority". After being a dub, realizing that virtue without compassion and understanding, doesn't mean a darn thing.

  5. Charity- as a dub, that meant waking people up on a weekend morning to tell them how they better convert or pay the price, after being a dub, it means getting my hands dirty, volunteering my time and resources in a physical sense to improve my community, e.i. helping out at school fund raisers, contributing to feed the community programs, picking up garbage at my local park, etc.
• 

  R.Crusoe

  You are so right sweetstuff! Almost giving up your life and love to the wishes and feeling and desires of others causes you to lack respect for those that you feel. It is like lying to your own heart. It has taken me almost a lifetime to realize that giving of yourself to others should not include giving up on your own heart and mind. Strangely though, those who have held that as their focus for a lifetime seem to me to be very full of themselves. So I am unsure where the balance lies or how to express it concisely in words.