Hi all, I am new, found a JW (page 2)

-Tank

sorry for the no paragraphs, I will make sure I do not do that again.

NewLight2

"sorry for the no paragraphs, I will make sure I do not do that again."

Un-check 'Check here to use HTML formatting' or just add <br> at the end of each paragraph.

jgnat

Hey, tank. Thanks for coming back and reviewing the replies.

Don't take the rejection so personally. Any good little JW would do the same thing. It's not about you, it's about the constraints the society puts on them. She is likely as miserable as you. But mentally and emotionally, she is not prepared to leave the society that is constraining her.

NewLight2

Hang around this forum and you may be able to learn how to 'de-program' her brain into leaving the JW's.

But in the meantime you could still date other women. If the relationship is meant to be - she will agree to leave the "JW's. One never knows what the real thoughts are of a JW. They are programed to hide all doubts from others. Because she came BACK to you 3 times maybe says that she is having secret doubts about her faith. No harm in staying on this forum and learning about this cult.

R.Crusoe

If your minds link up so well and you buzz off each other then I see your problem. But pair bondings between two people must include respect for each others thoughts, feelings and emotions in wanting to help each other to be as happy as you both can be whilst your together. Her mind is so geared up to rules that she keeps feeling guilty every time she follows her heart. Instead of you both relaxing and letting go, she keeps haunting herself with Gods rules and the idea her family will shun her if she sticks to you. She really is in a doubt everyone situation. Her mind is not free to choose you because if she does she may be worried that if it doesn't work out she will also have lost her family. So that double negative stops her from being sure that she really does know what she feels about you. All the worry gets in the way of healthy natural, human emotional bonding. Imagine if her family thought you were ideal and yours the same of her - how different and amazing both your lives could become! Maybe keep in contact and try to see her from time to time but put your heart in the gear of knowing this is a long term investment of small amounts of your emotion that may not increase in value. That may be a way of giving something time that you think so special -though only you can know if you can do that and if it's possible. I must admit that I'd be like you and it may take over my head. Know this - if she ever did decide to choose you she would leave behind her family and her religion. That would need some support from you and she would have to know it was what her hert wanted. Maybe that's too much responsibility for even you! And going with her religion just to marry her would be a false move and you know it. And they do talk so much about it you could never escape it. So your personal space may conflict with your mindset. And your kids would be JW. And if you left no one would talk with you. Your wife would be turned against her own feelings unless she followed you. As you see - lots to ponder about whether it's to be or not to be. My guess is if so she'd have to go your way and so you'd have to give her time to make her mind up and sort out if she thinks you're that special! Least you'd know her choice that way and be able to move on. Meantime meet other sorts of people and see how it goes. You may be a guy who loves the kind of woman that behaves like a JW but don't like their belief system. It's one life but don't rush into a situation that holds up 'low bridge' signs otherwise you'll end up stuck and unable to move on. Good luck - Ray

B_Deserter

Don't see her again, just give up now. You could give her an ultimatum that she has to leave the witnesses in order to see you, but that most likely won't end well. You need to get over her because no matter what the scenario, you lose.

1. If she decides to stay a witness, you will never have a normal relationship with her. You will continually spend loads of money on a woman that doesn't appreciate or respect you. Your relationship is always in her control. She decides when each phase begins and ends, and you're just along for the ride. You will never be anything more than her dirty little secret. Next time she calls you, tell her you're not interested and save your self-respect.
2. If she leaves the witnesses to be with you (and the chances of this happening are VERY small), she'll be leaving for the wrong reasons. All throughout your life together, she will long for her family's love. You will be the "bad guy," the one who seduced her out of her "spiritual paradise." Leaving the church for you is the wrong reason because she isn't leaving because she believes the church is false. Many ex-witnesses still believe it is the "truth," but they've fallen short and believe they will die at armageddon. This is NOT a good foundation to build a relationship on.

Face it, you two are doomed no matter what she does.

DaCheech

tough, she's probable a heck of a woman. she's caught in this web

-Tank

She is a heck of a woman, hence why it is so hard for me to get up and on with my life in that area. I never felt anything for anyone else, any of my other g/f's, like I did for her, it just didn't even come close. I realize I have to accept the harsh reality that as much as I want a life with her, it simply will not work, and I will never get to be with here, the truth hurts I guess. I want to thank you all again for your replies and advice, I feel very welcome on this board and I am glad I signed up. I know she will never leave "the truth" and if she did she would resent it so badly she would change into a different person I would not know, not the person I fell in love with. For now I am just going to continue working and doing what I do best, fun is a stranger to me, but you make good money that way haha. Money isn't everything I suppose I should have some fun once or twice a year.

-Tank

I unchecked it and it still did it, dag nabbit.

oompa

run forest run....and keep running like forest until you get her out of your system and can function again....I would stay away from any hardcore religious types..........for what its worth......oompa

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

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