Hi all, I am new, found a JW (page 3)

Barbie Doll

She is with JW, Trust me , you well be hurt. You well not be able to build a solid relationship with her. There are so many women out there, you can pick from and well be real good to you, move on.

NewLight2

"I unchecked it and it still did it, dag nabbit."

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Honesty

If you continue to be involved with this woman her god will suck your life away to nothing just as he is sucking hers away to nothing.

She has no future without her god and he will not her have you and him too.

Her god shares her with no one.

eclipse

I guess I am a complete jerk then. I go out of my way to help people all the time, not tooting my own horn, but I think I am a pretty nice and decent guy. I do not smoke, do drugs, drink, nothing,

If this is true, you are ''more moral substance-wise'' than half the JW guys around.

most of the ones I knew, who did not remain virgins before marriage, drank, smoked, partied just like the rest of the ''world''.

I hope that you just let her know of your love for her, but that the reality is that she is trapped in a high-control false religion,

and when she realizes that, to look you up.

Until then, you shouldn't pursue her, as it will only cause more heartache...

I'm sorry that you fell for a JW..and she for you

golfhl

Hello Tank Well just wanted to let you know, you are not alone in this kind of situation. I'm in in a very similar situation too, and just as you, hurt big time, by a stupid religion. Jens

The Oracle

Her God is on one side, and you're on the other. You can't win.

I disagree!!!

YOU CAN WIN!

What the hell??!!!?? It's not like you are trying to convince her to believe something that is not true, or does not make any sense when scrutizined closely! Think of how many current J-dubs have been convinced to believe utter bullsh*t...

You simply need to nudge her in the right direction to start looking in to her own faith. Be like a Borean. The WT is no match for pure truth and pure logic. It is true, that the brainwashing is highly effective - BUT IT CAN BE CUT THROUGH!!

Maybe I am just a romantic at heart, but GEEZE LOUISE - if you love this woman then GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE AND GO GET HER OUT OF THE CULT!!

The Oracle

PS: If you need help, let me know.

millymollymandy

YOU CAN WIN!
What the hell??!!!?? It's not like you are trying to convince her to believe something that is not true, or does not make any sense when scrutizined closely! Think of how many current J-dubs have been convinced to believe utter bullsh*t...
You simply need to nudge her in the right direction to start looking in to her own faith. Be like a Borean. The WT is no match for pure truth and pure logic. It is true, that the brainwashing is highly effective - BUT IT CAN BE CUT THROUGH!!
Maybe I am just a romantic at heart, but GEEZE LOUISE - if you love this woman then GIVE YOUR HEAD A SHAKE AND GO GET HER OUT OF THE CULT!!

I'm kind of leaning towards this response myself. I'm in a similar situation and am currently trying to very subtly make him face up to the questions already in his head (there must be some there, otherwise why else would someone studying the JW faith even give a heathen cow-worshipper like me a look?). It's tough going but I feel like I'm really trying to DO something about it instead of lying in bed being depressed about it like I used to. And who knows, I might even be successful one day.

If she's really the one it's worth a go, surely?

B_Deserter

Tank, your only hope is if she leaves the JWs on her own and doesn't emerge into the real world to terribly scarred. Hopefully if that happens, she'll look you up and you can have a normal relationship, do not have another relationship with her unless that is exactly the situation. That way, you won't be the reason she left.

-Tank

eclipse - I am really like that, I am just a honest hard working man, hard to believe in this day and age, i know. There was a witness friend of hers that liked her, did she like, I do not have a clue, probably.

Sometimes i catch myself saying, why did I even bother in the first place, but I honestly do not regret any of it, although it is now paining me. I do still love her with all of my heart, will I ever stop loving her? No. Will I ever get over her? Of that I am still very uncertain.

golfhl - not to sound mean, but it is somewhat comforting to know someone else is going through a similar situation. If you ever need to talk, feel free, I will try my best to help, and listen!

the oracle - You sound like the opposite of me, you are a very positive type haha. Honestly, that was an inspiring post, but if I was to believe it and tell myself I can win, I think I would be lieing to myself. She was raised a JW, right from birth...that makes it all the more stronger then someone who "came into it" in there aging process. Yes , alot of JW believe alot of bullsh*t, but the religion overs them salvation and a purpose, I can only offer human love and effection, which as she has told me, is not good enough, although to me, it is absolute. I would give my all to make her happy, to have a loving home and family with her, but I cannot compete with a religion! Nonetheless, thank you for the offer of help, I may use it someday!

If I was to even mention anything about her researching her own faith, she would not talk to me, she would hang up the phone, or walk away, and make sure to sever all contact with me because I am trying to pry her away from her religion she loves and believes. Whenever she asked me if I read any, and I said a little, because I was curious at first, she would always ask, was it from the Watchtower website? She would say "that is the only one you can believe, do not go to any other websites because it is all lies and they shun the truth and talk bad about it"

She is so far in, I do not think it is possible to pull her out. I have 2 choices, I let her go, or a I become one.

B_Deserter is right. If I try and make her leave, I will always be the reason she left, and she will question herself for the rest of her life, if that is what she wanted to do, or did she do it for me? Eventually, the need/want for religion again will resurface. She has to do it on her own, and there is a %99.8 chance, that that will never happen. That beats the hell out of me inside.

It's sad when you know the one you love whole heartedly, with no doubt, the one you want to spend your life with, the one who makes you smile, laugh, happy, you can't be with, not only now, but probably not ever. Sometimes I ask myself, what the hell am I here for? What am I doing? I still do not have the answers.

jgnat

After studying the coercive and manipulative techniques that a cult uses to attract and keep people, I cannot in good conscience do the same to others. It is possible to help a cultist break free of their programming, and allow their natural personality to come forward. That natural person may or may not choose to leave the religion. At that point, you must respect their choice.

If you wanted to take the time to learn how to talk to a cultist with good result, read Steve Hassan's books first. He will help you avoid newbie mistakes, like trying to confront a cultist with facts about their religion. As you have intuitively pointed out, all that does is make them run deeper in to it.

What helps is time and opportunity away from the routine and the literature. A good friend suggested that as little as five weeks away will reveal the natural person. That's the person you want to have a heart-to-heart with. But then again, how often can you coerce a person away for five weeks at a stretch? On the plus side, your girlfriend has shown that her natural feeling is for you. When she does break away, she hooks up. It's likely guilt that lures her back in.

Sometimes I ask myself, what the hell am I here for? What am I doing? I still do not have the answers.

I think you are on this earth to be a good man. You will be generous of soul and you will help many, many people. That's what I think, anyways.

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

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