Hi all, I am new, found a JW (page 4)

mouthy

So sorry to hear of your stiuation.I made 10 people JWS...
Belive me. if you go into this relationship you will end up miserable .
...I have a man who felt like you ...Married the JW, because they loved so much.
.. She thinking he would become one He thinking he could help her to be a Christian.
24 years later after a very disagreeable marriage ( they still love each other) they have two boys,
One was hers from a DF affair( before she got reinstated.)HIS REAL son is a very strong JW- who just got married to a so called Christian who is becoming a JW.... the step son is a drinker -dont go to meetings ...My friend ( he belongs to my group) has done everything to show them it is not the truth?( lie it is)
He says he is thinking of leaving the marriage as he knows any grand-kids will be JWS he couldnt take it....
My advice to you is PRAY for strength to leave it is the past...Granny

DaCheech

I don't think she's hardcore, and she is probable got the more modern mentality that has opened her up to you....

the real problem is: Family bonds!

She will get all these people pissed, and that will be the downfall!

leave her, or bear the fact that you both will be alone

-Tank

Somehow I think she won't be alone, it will only be me who suffers that fate, not looking for guilt, I know however I turn out in this is my own decision. She has such a close relationship with her family that I think they would not ever let her leave the religion. I think whenever she had second thoughts, her family was VERY QUICK in making her bounce back, they make sure she is not weak for a minute. I think I was the only contact with someone "outside"

The more I think about what to type, the more I know that I have probably lost her forever this time, and that she will not come back again. I still have a hard time coping with this, and I hope to heck that I am wrong.

I was a secret before, nobody knew about me except her best friend who chaperoned for us a couple of times. This last time she left, she told her mom about me, I think hoping for her mom to say "it's ok if he is not a witness, as long as the love is true" honestly I think that is why she told her mom, hoping for that answer, but got the "if he does not love the truth, he is not right" Now that her mom knows, her whole family will know, and they keep a look out for any signs of her becoming weak, or coming back. That is one reason why I am certain I am doomed.

All I have now is my work, which is swallowing me whole so to speak.

Thank you again, everyone, for all your advice and help, I appreciate the time you take to help someone you do not even know.

DaCheech

keep yourself occupied.

DO NOT isolate yourself in a shell.

eventually friends will help you get by

Shawn10538

You are being manipulated. She wants you to become a Witness. She is stringing you along. Free yourself now and never look back.

beksbks

Hate to add to the negatives here, but GOD may be a stronger pull than you. Don't forget, this is pure fear. Fear of eternal death, and fear of losing her family and everything she knows. Would you really want that on your shoulders, even if she couldn't resist you?

-Tank

I know definitely god is a stronger pull then me, she has already proven that to me, she proved it each time she left. I should have seen that the first time, but I just did not think about it, I thought she would change each time.

I think I am just better off to free myself of this as Shawn10538 said, and not ever speak to her again. As much as it hurts me and makes my heart sink to say that, but it will always be this way and if I do not let her go, I am only setting myself up for more pain. She will only be happy with someone who is just as obsessed with the religion as she is.

Thank you ladies and gentleman!! Before I came to this board I did not know what to do and was lost, looking for answers, but now I know exactly what I need to do, and what the best choice is. Thanks again.

OnTheWayOut

the oracle - You sound like the opposite of me, you are a very positive type haha. Honestly, that was an inspiring post, but if I was to believe it and tell myself I can win, I think I would be lieing to myself. ......

If I was to even mention anything about her researching her own faith, she would not talk to me, she would hang up the phone, or walk away, and make sure to sever all contact with me because I am trying to pry her away from her religion she loves and believes.

I am a true believer in the idea that love "hooks" you. Your heart gets involved and you just cannot walk
away. You are ready to walk away right now, but you come to our chat forum instead. You say you would
drive another 10 hours to be with her for a small part of a day again. You sound "hooked" to me.

There is less harm in trying to rescue her from the cult than simply walking away. And doesn't that sound
like a great romance story? "Son, your mom and I got together because I rescued her from a mind-control cult."
If you want to try, you can start educating yourself.

Here's a few books I recommend:
COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL and RELEASING THE BONDS both by Steve Hassan
David Reed has many books about approaching JW's- I liked HOW TO RESCUE YOUR LOVED ONES FROM
THE WATCHTOWER.

A great book for any JW to learn some of the real truth is CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE by Ray Franz, former Governing
Body member.

If you are serious about this, it will take some time, but I think your paths will cross again. I think you can help her.
There's also nothing wrong with simply running away from the situation and saying why you did so, to see if she ever
follows. The advice to forget about it is valid, but it's not the only answer. It's up to you what you should do.

jgnat

It is commendable, millymollymandy that you are giving it a try. Check in with me once in a while and tell me how it's going.

Why I suggested to _tank that it might be a lost cause in his case is that she has come to him and left him THREE TIMES. She has a pattern. I doubt nothing but a rude shock will break it.

Caedes

Tank,

Unlike most on this board I believe that a relationship with an active witness can be made to work. Unfortunately, I don't think that is your problem, this woman has rejected you and you are allowing her to keep on doing that. It seems to me you are not at that point in a relationship where perserverance is needed, now it may be that she is rejecting you because of pressure from others, however if she has not made that choice to be with you then it wont help to try and get her out of the cult.

She has to make that choice to be with you, until then no seeing her, calling her or writing to her. If she wants you then she will get in touch. If she does then explain how you feel and tell her she has to make a choice and stick with it. Obviously I'm not telling you what to do, just passing on an opinion.

Best of luck

Hi all, I am new, found a JW

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