by Maddie 42 Replies latest jw friends
W.Once - I am weighing up the alternatives and thanks for your support.
Momz - Yes I have told my son and my hubby supports me and I have thought about this point of not playing by the borgs rules. Why should I after all?
Tinker - I have only spoken to my family, no-one else. My son may have told the borg, I suspect he has.
PoppyR - I am sorry we didn't get to meet too, never mind there will be other times. If he wants to talk to my hubby first he better look out that's all!
Maddie
Maddie,
Imagine you have a boil or some other med condition that requires "lancing" so that it will drain, have the needed cleansing and medicating, and then the treatment to heal with as little scaring as possible....
Would you rather have it lanced in a quick, clean manner or would you rather the doctor just sorta pick at it....maybe cut a bit into it and then wait a few minutes and cut another tad and then wait and cut a bit more in this jagged, "when will this end" mode?
That is the situaiton you face now: you choose.
V PS Wishing you well. This will not be easy no matter how it goes, however, this situation has the highest benefit to cost ratio of anything you will ever experience.....take care.....
I really don't believe what I am reading here. Some are so worried, you might expect "Death" knocking at your door.
When I discovered how my JW bud felt about me, and all other worldly people, I told him he was an awful person thinking I was controlled by some imaginary spirit. I asked him if he would be comfortable sitting next to semeone who hopes he would be destroyed. That is just sick! I said our personal discussions are over and done. He now calls me for business only.
The message here? For your own sake, show some strength. Tell them you are not interested. Phone them and show some of your "truth". No phone number? Fine. When the door bell rings. Sorry I am no longer interested in a cult supporting pervs and murderers. Be strong.
CLOSE THE FREAKING BOOK. Move foreward with your lives.
I like jgnat's deliciously wicked scenario, but...
It could backfire. Your husband may slip and say things that could incriminate you (sources of info, etc.).
My advice is to not meet with them.
You could have your husband say: "Thank you for your concern, but I feel a meeting is unnecssary. Buh By". That puts the responsibily on his superior head of the house shoulders and the elders will respect that.
This will get them off your back and you will not have the stress of meeting with them ever again.
changeling
worldtraveller - The only reason I have any worry is because of my family, but I will tell them where to take their stinking cult when I choose to
changeling - I had a concerned phone call from sweet pea today suggesting that I do and say what you just suggested. Thank you changling.
Vernon - I have had a boil lanced once and it's not very pleasant, but to drag the procedure out is agony. Comparing the WT with a boil being lanced is brilliant, I cant' think of a more apt description!
Maddie
Maddie,
you and I had a conversationa while bakc, and I re-iterate what I said then.
If you have made your desiscion, then take control away from the borg elders.
This is your life. It has to be your choice.
They like to remain in control... it feeds their egos.
DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO D/F YOU,
You have waled the plank; are you going to jump or be pushed?
Shell Kindest regards (((((((((((((((((XXXXXXXXX))))))))))))))) Just my opinion X
one point.............. is your husband strong.......... does he take crap from people?......... can he act?
if hes strong enough........... he can refuse to allow them to talk to you at all......... beyond that if they go to plan B which is hounding you at work.......... and they will....... then he can insist that as the head of the house you will not meet with them unless he is there with you.
end result............ they will do what they always have and likely df you in absentee. but there is a slight chance that if your hubby plays the overpowering crazy worldly.............. they could be intemidated and just drop it..... as long as your not out preaching about the evils that org does.
best wishes no matter what comes your way.
When they come tell you husband to play along and lie say you will do whatever they say they will go away and you can then fade in peace. Unless they are total jerks then all bets are of I would just DA then if that happened.
Maddie,
There are several tacks that you can make to avoid meeting with the Elders.
1) Use you husbands role as head, and have him forbid the elders from meeting with you. He does not have to give a reason, or could say that they are upsetting you (not a lie).
2) Say that you are too depressed to meet with them. Again this is not a lie! Or have your hubby say this along, with forbidding the meeting.
3) Have him say that the only way he would allow the meeting is if he can record the entire meeting. According to the "Pay Attention" book, they will not meet with you if they know it is being recorded.
I hope this helps. Hang in there, and do not let their crap screw with your serenity!
John
MADDIE- Mr. Flipper here. How ya doin' sis ? A little tense ? I know. I've been in your exact same situation . You have had some great advice so far ! I especially agree with Momzcrazy, Changeling, and most of Dawgs in regards to what your son might be up to with this situation .
So, here is my take , from what happened to me . I would not meet with the elder. He probably would be bringing another elder to have two witnesses there to try and trap you into saying something to screw yourself so they could dissassociate you . That would be bad because then you give them the power over your destiny with your families future association ! Don't give them that power. The magic words they are looking to hear you say are, " I don' t believe that God is using the faithful and discreet slave or the organization anymore to guide his people. " That is the question they would be asking you in a sneaky manner, without you knowing it. Just forewarning you !
So, if an elder calls , just say , " I really have nothing to meet with you about, have a good day. " Then hang up the phone. Period. You are NOT obligated to meet with them for anything. They are trying to be intrusive on your life to get the goods on you. You don't have to play their " cult controlled games ". If you want to continue seeing your son or witness family, don't tell the elders anything. It is none of their business what you are doing in your life now. As regards to your son, yeah, show him the NBC news release. It is JUST a news release on national news, it is NOT from apostates, so the elders cannot get you for that. You just want to keep your son informed.
I was harassed for 10 months by elders trying to prove in vain that I lived with Mrs. Flipper before we married. They tried to DF me on " circumstantial fornication " because I would not meet with them in a judicial committee because it didn't happen, I felt I didn't owe them anything. So, when they decided to DF me when I wouldn't go to their damn jc meeting, I appealed it ! Well, the society made the appeal committtee reverse the decision and they decided not to DF me because of lack of evidence . So, I say fight for your right to still talk with your family, don't lay down for them , that is what they expect you to do, then they have control over you, and will furthermore make your life more miserable. Be strong, be smart. Don't tell them anything , you are happy in your life, and don't need their input. It worked for me, they bother me, it may work for you too. If you need any fuirther help, always feel free to pm me. I'm here for ya, sis ! Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
