Dear Wife, so sorry I checked out and drank too much last week, and thanks

by oompa 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • oompa
    oompa

    for the encouraging WT article you printed for me. It also referenced an article about getting help from the elders in your congregation. This is the very first thing it says:

    ***

    w835/1p.8DrinkingProblems—WhatCantheEldersDo?***

    This raises a very important question: What can elders do to help their spiritual brothers and sisters who are having a problem with drinking?

    Clearly, the Scriptures do not in any way condone drunkenness. In particular do Christian overseers have the responsibility to see to it that confirmed, unrepentant drunkards are not tolerated in the Christian congregation; they are to be disfellowshipped. (1 Corinthians 5:11-13; Galatians 5:19-21)

    I hope to overcome this problem that has caused you so much grief. Some do not however, like James Little. I really think I will beat it, but how much do you think I would want to get help from, or be associated with any Christian congregation that has the power to judge me as a confirmed, unrepentant drunkard? And have instructions in place that instruct my family and friends to totally shun me, not even speaking to me unless I come back into the fold? That is risking too much for me, but I hope you and others will help me, and that I never lose you. I love you....oompa The article goes on to help our shoe salesmen Elders (not that theres anything wrong with that), to become clinical professionals about alcohol abuse in just one page so they will know when start the big shun!:

    What

    aboutdisfellowshipping? It boils down to this: What is the person’s attitude toward drinking? Does he, despite your patient but firm efforts to break through to reality, seem intent on continuing his drinking? In this connection, it is of interest to note what the book AlcoholicsAnonymous advises employers of alcoholics:

    "If you are sure your man does not want to stop, he may as well be discharged . . . Firing such an individual may prove a blessing to him. It may be just the jolt he needs." Similarly, if the individual’s attitude requires that he be disfellowshipped to keep the congregation clean, this may at the same time be just the "jolt" he needs.

    Rather, try to understand the nature of alcoholism, what it is and what it does to people. Keep in mind that you may have to break down the wall of denial that the alcoholic has built up around himself. You must get him to see that he has a drinking problem and that he needs help. He will need your ongoing help and support. (But won't get any once you have kicked his ass to the curb!!!!!!!!!!)................................oompa.....sign me up for this professional program with only lifelong risks required!!!

  • What-A-Coincidence
    What-A-Coincidence

    Oompa. The WT is totally out of sync as to "human behavior". I give them an F- in this regard.

    Personally, I have learned about 'human behavior' through Anthony Robbin's book, 'Awaken the Giant Within".

    <<<picking up oompas ass off the curb>>>

  • Locutus of Borg
    Locutus of Borg

    Hey Oomp . .

    I used to drink ALOT, you wouldn't believe how much while I was still in the collective. I hid it well and it was never an issue with the window washers, er I mean elders, there were other things that they were always after me for . . .

    Anyway, after I left the kult back in 96 or so my heavy drinking tapered way off and eventually I realized that the kult was one of the principle reasons I was self medicating with Scotch and Bourbon every day. Trying to kill the guilt and low self esteem with alchohol was my way of coping, eventually all this led to debilitating panic attacks. I was a farked up mess headed for a realy serious train wreck.

    I got medical help for the panic attacks and depression and got some professional help. It did not take long for me to realize that the kult was pretty much the core reason for the drinking, the depression, and the panic attacks.

    One beautiful summer Sunday AM in 96 I got up and was really in dark place. I went out into my back yard and started doing yardwork instead of going to the meeting, I felt better right away. That was an "Aha!!" moment. I said to myself "I'm not doing this anymore" and walked away cold turkey from the kult, no fade, no bullshit talking wih the shoe salesmen.

    Within 6 months I was off of Paxil (for the panic attacks) was not drinking at all, and was off of antidepressants.

    I drink now but it does not rule my day like it used to. I like a couple glasses of wine in the evening, maybe a shot of Brandy on a cold wintery day like today. Nothing like the bottle of scotch a day habit I had when I was in.

    Looking back, the cult was the reason I drank, to dull the edge of the cognitive disonance.

    I know your situation is not like mine and you maybe cannot just walk away like I did. I was fortunate that my wonderful wife came with me. I have paid a price, don't get me wrong, I have lost pretty much my whole family with the exception of my youngest brother who never bought into the borganization.

    In retrospect it was a heavy price to pay but worth it because I probably would not be here now If I hadn't gotten out.

    I wish you peace and serenity my brother . . .

  • oompa
    oompa
    Locotus:

    One beautiful summer Sunday AM in 96 I got up and was really in dark place. I went out into my back yard and started doing yardwork instead of going to the meeting, I felt better right away. That was an "Aha!!" moment. I said to myself "I'm not doing this anymore" and walked away cold turkey from the kult, no fade, no bullshit talking wih the shoe salesmen.

    Within 6 months I was off of Paxil (for the panic attacks) was not drinking at all, and was off of antidepressants.

    AWESOME story man!! I feel way more at peace now, except for wife son all family and friends still in....but I have thought for a long time my habit was JW mental stress related....I would probably be healthier going far far away. I have pretty high anxiety at times and maybe some would say that is panicy....what antidepressants helped?.....thanks.............oompa

  • changeling
    changeling

    I'm sorry that your wife doesn't get it oompa. I do think, however, that in her own mistaken way she is tying to help you. From what you have shared with us here, you do need help.

    Please, for your sake and your wife's, get the help you need.

    changeling

  • hamsterbait
    hamsterbait

    Locutus has it in one.

    I am still ostensibly "in" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    but only for fambly reasons. Once I put it all beyond the periphery of my life, I was able to get the booze out of the centre.

    I did a thread a while back asking "how many became alcoholics because of the Borg".

    HB

  • oompa
    oompa
    changeling: Please, for your sake and your wife's, get the help you need.

    Girlfrin if ise getting any more help I would be in an instution, in a straight-jacket with four I-V's hooked up while getting electric shock treatment on my scrotum......................................................thanks................oompa

  • Locutus of Borg
    Locutus of Borg
    Once I put it all beyond the periphery of my life, I was able to get the booze out of the centre.

    Well stated HB

  • JK666
    JK666

    Oomp,

    The elders were worthless, instead of helping me they DF'ed me twice.

    JK

    I guess the second time DID help, I never went back.

  • Locutus of Borg
    Locutus of Borg

    Oomp, PM me if you ever need to vent or something . . K Bro?

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