I agree with you Primitivegenius, especially your last sentence.
Is Your Adulthood Authentic?
by prophecor 26 Replies latest jw friends
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Brother Apostate
I've always believed the best way to live life is to never truly grow up. To have a child like curiousity and wonder. To trust. To strive against time and experience to always find joy in everything we face, to be in awe and wonder of the beauty of God's creation, to cherish love and respect, and turn from anger and hatred. I think it's why Christ said: "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."-Mark 10:14
Nothing worse than being bitter, mean, jaded and spiteful in our outlook. Unfortunately, many become such as they age. It takes effort to remain unjaded by life's experiences as we age.
BA- Here's a poem that touches on the subject:
I Resign
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities
of an 8-year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and
make ripples with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because
you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade
stand with my friends on a hot summer day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple.
When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables,
and nursery rhymes,
but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what
you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should
make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and
be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again.
I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news,
how to survive more days in the month than there is
money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip,
illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind
word, truth, justice, peace, dreams,
the imagination, mankind, and making angels
in the snow.
So...here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit
cards and all my responsibility.
I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to
catch me first, 'cause,
"Tag! You're it."
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shopaholic
I think a better question is are you your authentic self?
Being raised in the org or being associated with it from a young age you don't get to experience the typical events that would shape your life as an adult. Mentally, most JW are still children for a LOT longer than they should be. This is very different from being a child at heart. Keeping folks in child-like mental state is one reason the org does not advocate education. Most 20-something college graduates are ready to conquer the world...you know...get your own place, start your career, to start developing into who you want to become. This everything that org does not want to happen to its youth. For JWs raised in the org, there's always that struggle between being yourself and submitting to the org. I'm sure we all remember that feeling. We probably all remember moments when we made a conscious decision to forgo some part of our authentic self to follow the directive of the org.
For most people that are recently free of the org, it is likely they are not their authentic self. It takes time to establish or re-establish the foundation of your being. I've written a mission statement for my life as a first step to getting back to my authentic self. I know who Shop is and I know what Shop stands for and I know what Shop wants and I'm no longer apologizing for it.
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oompa
prop: are you still suffering adult-child issues?
Could you explain what these may be? I think I know and feel very similar to yourself, but of course would not have asked the exact same questions. If we have been held back many years from entering "the world" then have we really start "growing up" in it in so many ways, even finiancial, although this last one is not always the case since some people get lucky or inherit money. In just about every other matter though there must be a delay. Especially relationships, our understanding of things..etc..........relatinging a lot to this thread and l looking forward to JGNATs web site link............................oompa
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prophecor
prop: are you still suffering adult-child issues?
Absolutely!!!
Much of my battle consist of the missing father syndrome. In search of that "Father Figure" being raised by a "Mother" reminiscent of the character in Pink Floyd's, The Wall, and not having any real valuable male role models to temper, tame and refine my upbringing, I had the makings of a potentially loose cannon once puberty, or as was so quaintly described in the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures, "The Bloom of Youth" would have its' way with me. Should've been more properly defined as an explosion.
Add on the issues of being, not raised "In The Truth" but having it subtly introduced into your life by that same missing father. He was never a Witness, but was very pro-JW. I was going to the Kingdom Hall even before knowing what one truly was. Then once having the opportunity to " Make The Truth My Own", It took on even greater meaning for me. Cutting to the chase, I feel I've been chasing after my missing father, who's always been very supportive of Jehovah's Witnesses as a religion, as well as a people.
He was no diciplinarian, at least not until he had to become the police officer for the family. A lot of unsettled, undisciplined children, we were. He was a hen pecked husband. A wife who gave her children way too much leeway and placed them above her husband, and you have a societally sabotaged children who grow up to become emotionally and mentally deranged adults. Looking for the "Captain of the Ship", there was none and so the crew begins to take over. The prisoners would reign and rule in the prison. The ship was certain to capsize, sinking with every one aboard, including our missing Captain.
Honestly, I feel like I'm living on the inside of his (Pink Floyd's) album, "The Wall" I unfortunately relate to more than 90 percent of that album. Not only is my adulthood in question but even my imagined "Possible Past."
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Apostate Brother
Yeah! Thats right BA!
AB-You can't be young again, but you can always be IMMATURE!!!
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chickpea
I think a better question is are you your authentic self?
yes!! excellent point!
this is what was hanging me up about the premise of the thread...... i feel authentic, absolutely..... but not always "adult"
i have come to fully invest in the notion that there is( at the very least) an inherent dichotomy in all authentic people can that allow for the adult persona of responsiblity and maturity AND the child-like ( not childish!) feelings and expressions of unmitigated delight........recognized and validated as two ( of many?) facets that humans are capable of expressing
i deal with the realities of SA'd children and i clap my hands and laugh with sheer joy when i see a shooting star..... i believe i am authentic