Is Your Adulthood Authentic?

prophecor

I've been training with some uniquely gifted folks at my place of employment. They appear to have it so together. Life has done some seemingly impressive things with them. One who's spent numerous years in the Marine Corps is an excellent asset to the company as are others who've likewise spent time in the military.

At this late stage of my life in seeking out employment, I often feel I've been frozen in a time warp. I don't try to blame it on having been JW, the fact that the world wasn't even supposed to be here upto now, or the careless and foolish choices made in the days of my youth. I feel like I'm stuck, however, as I watch the world around me blossom and unfold. Developed people of seemingly high character as well as true, authentic adults. These are not children masking themselves in adult containers, these are grown men and women. Living thier lives to the fullest in so many instances.

It would do me well to take a crash course in being human from these individuals as they seem to have acquired stellar accomplishments and are able to look back with pride on them. I who've been waiting for the sky to "stop" falling, found out all too late that it never was. The "Chicken Little" syndrome. Think I'll go back and review that childrens' novel.

Are you living as a true and authentic adult? Do you feel you will ever be able to, if not catch up, to at least keep up with the pace of real and ordinary life? Do you feel as if a child who's never truly had reason or opportunity to grow up? Are you a "Grown Ass Man" (or woman for that matter), or are you still suffering adult-child issues?

Arthur of the feeling forever 17 class.

momzcrazy

I still feel 19 on the inside. But I look around the new house, see the bills on the table and the baby's mess and think I am a 34 yr old mom of 3!!! We have a mortgage and car note and tons of life insurance. I am not babysitting these kids, I am not housesitting. This is mine all mine!! I am the boss' wife and I have 20 somethings calling me for advice. BUT...

Every once in a while I get lit and dance until my feet fall off. I sneek a cigarette and forget the dishes for a while. I scream and yell at concerts and break up the occasional fight. I forget that I have been a forced adult since I was 13 and I try to catch the whiff of childhood stolen from me.

So am I a grown up? Yes, but sometimes the teenager sneeks out for a little grown up fun.

momz

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

I think I understand what you mean, Prophecor, and I feel like a kid in a grown-up suit a lot of the time. I'm responsible on the outside, but inside I'm thinking 'is it this difficult for everyone?' I have made some really good friends who are only a few years older than me and just have it so together I feel a lifetime apart from them maturity-wise. It's so strange.

I don't know how to overcome this except to do what I'm doing, just keep reading as much as I can, do as much research as I can, live as much as I can, love as much as I can. It sounds incredibly vague and it is. Do you have any good ideas?

YoursChelbie

They appear to have it so together.

If by this you mean they have more than enough in the bank to retire right now.

and their houses and cars are paid for, then I'd say there are more people who will never have it together than those who do.

I think "having it together" is just a mix of good upbringing, determination, good health, opportunities and focus on specific goals.

YC

jgnat

Your title - and description - so reminds me of this researcher and this website:

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

His premise is simple. Ask happy people how they do it. Imitate their example. On his website that I've given, are all kinds of surveys you can take to figure out what kind of work gives you the most satisfaction. It's also been shown that if people pursue the careers that make them happy (compared, to, say, "make lots of money") they naturally tend to be promoted, admired, and imitated.

Makes sense, huh? Do what you love to do, and everything else follows.

I'd have to say this formula has worked very well for me in my career. And I did it without returning to college.

VoidEater

Are you living as a true and authentic adult?

Usually - but I can also by childish (in positive ways when playful, in negative ways if painfully stressed...hmm, that hasn't happened in a couple years now...)

Do you feel you will ever be able to, if not catch up, to at least keep up with the pace of real and ordinary life?

Yes - but it took 15 years of therapy and exploration of various beliefs including travels to indigenous peoples to get perspective.

Do you feel as if a child who's never truly had reason or opportunity to grow up?

When I finally decided "I ain't going back", I was faced with having to figure out what life is and how to do it.

Are you a "Grown Ass Man" (or woman for that matter), or are you still suffering adult-child issues?

No more suffering, thank you, may I be excused?

"The ultimate aim of the quest must be neither release nor ecstasy for oneself, but the wisdom and the power to serve others." -Campbell

darth frosty

I say no and on top of that a double no. I have always said that being raised a witness basically emasculates you as a man. The belief system doesn't allow you to properly go thru the rites of passage of being a man. On top of that, as a black man that grew up with no father(passed when I was 12) a lot of things that would have been told or explained to me were not. I find myself now at the age of 35 finally learning and figuring out things I should have known in the late teens early 20 at best.

White Dove

I'm embracing my immaturity. I'm about 38 and 21 forever! I will live forever! I will never diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carmel

I don't really know what "authentic" means, but looking at my situation compared to many here who spent all their youth and much of their adult life as slaves to the Borg, I feel fortunate. Financially, socially, spiritually, and intellectually I feel happy with where I am. I feel fortunate that I have demonstrably returned to humanity significant contributions in all those areas and will go to the next phase with certitude that this life was worthwhile. carmel

flipper

Prophecor- Great thread guy ! With all the " adult " experiences I've been through in my life, yeah, I'd say I'm very adult in the way I have approached them and handled them . Of course true success as an adult has a lot of variables attached to it ! We see many overpaid brats in the media for instance Brittney Spears, comes to mind, might have made it financially , but doesn't seem to be adult enough to care for her children properly. So everything is relative, depending what vantage point your coming from.

I have been in a business, fairly successfully for 25 years now , my wife in hers for 18 years . Because she and I are in service oriented businesses , some might look down on what we do, however that is their problem. I take pride in that I raised 3 children to adulthood quite nicely, by having my own commercial janitorial business, wife has a seamstress business professionally. Some on the board here make cracks about or diss janitors, but truth be known, I probably earn more per hour than some of them joking about it, so once again, everything is relative.

But my wife and I although in our late 40's early 50's have enough kid in us where we like to go listen to live blues music, kick our heels up and have fun ! We feel physically younger than we are ! We joke around with quirky humors and all, but still are responsible emotionally and mature adults that way . And access our achievments on more things than just earning money ! We have a content happy home on a acre in the Sierra mountains with 2 labrador retrievers and three cats . Enjoy a good fire in our woodstove drinking wine, and playing scrabble at night, listening to the blues . Hey, lots of ways to access happiness as an adult . Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Is Your Adulthood Authentic?

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