Not compatible? Do the right thing and walk away.
So, you're in love with someone that you're not compatible with ....
by Frequent_Fader_Miles 44 Replies latest social relationships
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FlyingHighNow
You love them dearly, but they don't fulfil your deepest longings.
Got news for you, even when you are compatible, it doesn't mean things will work out. Andy and I can"t be together and we are very compatible. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But if you're in one where all you do is fight and there are no kids involved, try taking some time out from the intensity of it all. Then see if it can be worked out, if not and there are no kids involved, then it might make sense to move on.
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FlyingHighNow
Lust is a great thing, but real love feeling like lust is even better......oompa
Oh AMEN to that!
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Satanus
'they don't fulfil your deepest longings.'
Maybe, expecting some one to do that is asking too much, not impossible, but next to it. My readings of codependence suggests it may be unrealistic, that we need to do that ourselves.
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daytona27
I got involved with a sister that I had cared about for over 10 years. Not in love, but admired and was naturally attracted to. Both of us were married. We ended up both going through ugly divorces. Through it all, we ended up finding each other and fooled ourselves into thinking that we were the answer for what we each were missing in our lives and wanted to be together. We ended up getting in some trouble in the midst of everything that was going on with being divorced. I take full responsibility of course. It was a big mess. I was DFd, partially to make sure we didn't get married. She waited for me. She wouldn't talk to me, obviously, but our plan was that I would get through it and we'd eventually be together and everything would be perfect...better than perfect. I'd never been so in love, or felt such love from another person in my life. Over the months, she would email me blank emails letting me know she wanted to hear from me. After awhile, it really bothered me that she would be so selfish. She still had everything and I was completely alone. She thought she was covering herself by not actually emailing me content...sending blank emails to let me know she wanted me to email her. I was so completely in love with her, but one day, I decided I would never again be at the mercy of such a powerful, relentless emotion. I was tired of waking up everyday and being in terrible pain of not being able to be with her. I sent her an email telling her I never wanted to hear from her again. It was over. I didnt' want to be with her. It was a short period of time of intense pain, but was over and I was back in control of my life. My point is...don't give up control of who you are or how you feel to anything. Love isn't worth it. It comes and goes, but you, your sanity, it's the only thing you really have any ownership of and control over. I'll allow love into my life when it fits me, but I'm not going to ever allow it to control me or run my life again. It's just not worth it. Personal contentedness and peace is much more satisfying than being the slave of something that you're at the mercy of, completely owns you and you have no control over.