I recommend stop going to meetings cold turkey and move far away. That way no one knows you in your new area and you do whatever you want. If family comes and visit once in a while they can deal with you doing some celebrations or you can keep it low key. I have a family member who was inactive for 10 years, lived with a guy did everything she wanted and was never df'ed. She lived away from her old hall's territory and she kept in contact with no one except our immediate family. So i guess it's the best way to have your cake and eat it too.
why is it better to "fade"?
by ruined 24 Replies latest jw experiences
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AuldSoul
However, if there are things you no longer have any conscience qualms about that would be of a more public nature (Christmas decorations, birthday celebrations at restaurants, etc.) you may find that it becomes too restrictive living under the constraints of being careful what other JWs see you do. In that event, you could either just let their slander run its course or you could DA yourself.
Also, if you have relatives who are gung-ho types who don't respect reasonable boundaries on privacy and conscience it will be much more difficult to fade.
Every situation is unique and the consequences of each decision will only have to be endured by the person making the decision. It is basically up to each person to weigh the situation they are in and decide from there. No one can do it for you.
Respectfully,
AuldSoul -
ikhandi
Hmmm I have faded a bunch of times but have gone back a few as well. One of these days I will just say hell to it and DA. I find the more time goes on the less I care about any personal relationships I had with folks. I am not even living in the same state of my former congregation and no JW's where I am at even know I exsist. The odd thing is I have never even seen JW's witnessing in my area and I have been here for over two years.
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DublDipd
Welcome Ruined!
One positive thing about being DF'd is that you don't have to listen to their witness bs, in fact, they CANNOT (ideally) witness to you. The decision to shun you is up to them. Remember, YOU don't have the problem, THEY do! I like the DF'd status because it's a "clean break". You have the right to make your own statement to them...exercise your right. I've been DF'd for over 16 years, it takes some time, but they come back around (in their own deranged way).
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B_Deserter
Fading is never easy and I wouldn't recommend it unless you have no outside connections. I'm currently trying to fade and honestly, I'm finding it very difficult. I rarely go to meetings or assemblies because it's just too hard. I can't even remember the last time I was in field service. I can't sit through those meetings because they just make me angry. Their logic is so flawed and the talks are so manipulative, I just want to scream. I made the mistake of telling my parents how I feel, and now they're constantly barraging me with "I'm worried about you" and "don't abandon Jehovah!"