If we were a congregation?

by joelbear 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • bigboi
    bigboi

    Id probably be he young newly associated big cock strong brother who all the elders are always inviting to share in the privelege of working at kingdom hall builds or workin on the hall after feild service on the weekends.

    Bastards.

    ONE....

    bigboi

  • teejay
    teejay

    Mindchild,

    I wanna be the brother who enjoys freaking people out ... I love to turn hot coffee into instant solid jello by adding a little bit of chemicals...

    Now that *is* freaky. How do you do that?

    *******************
    Bigboi,

    Can we call you "Buck"?

  • gumby
    gumby

    The only meetings we would be having is COMMITEE MEETINGS!
    RexB, a Guest, and youKnow would serve as the commitee.
    All others on this boerd would be df'ed.

  • TR
    TR

    Of course, I would volunteer for Ballistic's part when he doesn't show up. I would have to use his outline, profanity and all.

    TR

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • Mindchild
    Mindchild

    Teejay...

    You were asking how I turned hot coffee into instant jello. There was a company by the name of Edmund Scientific http://www.edsci.com/ that I used to always order stuff from back then. They had some stuff they sold then that was loads of fun. I forget the product name but it was a additive to liquids that would turn them to plastic, hot or cold. It actually worked better if it was hot. The other cool thing about this stuff is that it was incredibly slippery and felt like snot. It took forever to wash off your hands.

    I caused a lot of trouble once in a circuit assembly with this stuff. I was friends with a CO who loved to micro-manage everything, including the kitchen work (back when they did the meals at the assemblies) and I dropped a bit of this stuff in a cup of coffee he had sat down in the kitchen and when he came back for it, he found it had turned to jello. Not knowing it was a gag, he yelled out for the coffee maker to dump everything in the large coffee pots because the coffee was too strong! LOL! He showed the volunteer cook his coffee, actually pulled it out whole from the cup wrapped around his spoon, and the poor guy apologized up and down for making the coffee wrong. I figured I would get a lot of shit if they found out it was me behind this, so I just slithered out of there. LOL!

    Oh, I noticed in the new online Edmund catalog that they have a liquid that climbs out of its own container...hmmm, sounds like something fun to put in a contribution box. hahaha just joking.

    Skipper

  • Xena
    Xena

    Mind you must have terrorized you KH! lol gotta love ya!

    (leaning over waiting to chat with her hubby)

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    I wanna be the MS assigned to follow Xena around to make sure she doesn't get outta hand. I could see myself spending a lot of time behind Xena...

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    i'd be the sister that was forever falling asleep at the sunday morning meetings because i'd have been out partying the night before hehe

    sounds like we'd have an interesting mix at our "hall"

    harmony

    Most people think, Great God will come from the skies, Take away everything And make everybody feel high. But if you know what life is worth, You will look for yours on earth: And now you see the light, You stand up for your rights.~~Bob Marley

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat

    Haha! Joel - you are too cute! You're description of my get-togethers totally pegged me! At my church that is the reputation I have. Everyone knows to come to me for a good restaurant idea and they all ask when I'm having my next party. I LOVE entertaining! Unfortunately, I didn't have that reputation as a JW. I was pretty much a wall-flower there since I didn't come from a well-known family. I really didn't come into "my own" until the last several years.

    Andi

  • AGuest
    AGuest
    The only meetings we would be having is COMMITEE MEETINGS!
    RexB, a Guest, and youKnow would serve as the commitee.
    All others on this boerd would be df'ed.

    Uh, actually, Gum... after having 14 of my own 'human tribunals'... I dare say you would not find me sitting as judge against anybody. Rather, I would be the 'weird' (translation: she's a little crazy) 'sister' who asked all the 'wrong' questions and made all the 'wrong' comments, which always makes the 'study'
    conductor 'squirm' but which most folks really think... and think that perhaps she just MIGHT be 'right' (or close to it) or at least worthy of thought and consideration (although, granted, while they will nod their heads and even secretly ask her more after the meeting, they would NEVER acknowledge out loud that they've wondered the very same thing and think that way)... and who made everyone 'think' with her comments... whether they wanted to or not... which, of course, posed a 'threat' 'cause ya can't control a congregation where people THINK... for themselves...

    ... and who professed to be 'anointed' (GASP!) and we can't have THAT... so the congregation 'elders' (who shall remain nameless due to my love for THEM)... would 'mark' her and slander her or chide her with some vulgar thing... and deem her 'crazy' and 'delusional' and a 'danger to the congregation'... and perhaps even collaborate and scheme to get her 'in check'... but would get mad when they realized she is not impressed by any 'elder' or other minions, because sooner or later they show their 'true colors', because they are, after all, only earthling men themselves, as opposed to the 'gods' some make them out to be...

    ... who would ultimately be shuffled into a 'committee' meeting by the 'elders'... which, in truth, would only result in THEM getting mad... and speaking abusively... and perhaps vulgarly... and weeping and gnashing THEIR teeth...

    which would truly be 'nothing new under the sun'.

    I would be that 'sister'.

    Peace.

    A slave of Christ,

    SJ

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