I wish the nightmares would stop.

by Micky4321 32 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • yknot
    yknot

    I occassionally still do.

    I am always in an airport, everyone gets to board but me. My mom hugs me goodbye and then I am all alone. The airport is completely empty. Everyone was found worthy but me.

    The nightmares began right after the PO decided that Jehovah didn't want a rift-raft child like me.

    THANKS WALLY OLMSTAD !!!!!

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    My sister and I both had nightmares/dreams around the time we sent our DA letters. But it was mostly about ones from our growing up years. I have been dreaming about our previous hall here in TN. But I know it is from the shock of actually severing the ties.

    momz

  • Micky4321
    Micky4321

    My mother shunned me for 7 years about and then now will talk to me and have me to there house but not a family thing she has to make sure neither one of my brothers are there the two that are elders. One thing she did do just a few years ago. I was livid about this. I think that made the nightmares get worse and more often.

    She purposely told me about a party she had at her house with my Grandpa and Grandma and they are not even JW's, my grandpa was very against the religion. Anyway she told me how they were there and the entire rest of the family and a bunch of JW's also and how I was not allowed to come because I was disfellowshipped. This seems to be her way to try to movivate me to become a JW again. Like if I came back I could come to parties like this. Well it really does the opposite. I always think why would I want to come back and be around people who would treat me this way.

    I was just so angry I just think that is sooooo mean to tell someone about a party and say you can't come. I talk to her some still mostly through email. I don't think she understands that this abuse is not something I want in my life.

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    Sounds like my mom. She is shunning me and my sister, even though we just recently DA'd. Yet she has her DF'd friend from UT stay with her. And her brother who left, not DF'd or DA'd, stays with her about once a month. Yet we aren't good enough for her to speak to. She only talks to my kids because they call her.

    momz

  • Micky4321
    Micky4321

    The hypocrisy is astounding isn't it? I have a brother who was never DF'd or DA'd but has been gone for 25 years about. He's smoked, done drugs, been with different women out of wedlock but he could go to the party. It doesn't make sense to me. I've given up on trying to make sense of it though.

  • changeling
    changeling

    This religion has scarred us all for life. That's why we're here on JWD.

    changeling

  • Micky4321
    Micky4321

    So true.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    I've been out for 25 years (January 4th to be exact, I remember because that's my birthday) anyway about a month ago I woke up in a cold sweat (not menopause related) couldn't catch my breath. I was dreaming that I was running around one of those ramps that they have in stadiums trying to get out but couldn't find the bottom it just kept winding around and around That was the first and only JW related dream I've had since leaving. I guess I still have some JW demonz to get rid of huh?

    I was probably looking for a bathroom without a line a mile long!

    nj

  • Micky4321
    Micky4321

    The lines to the womens bathroom were always I mile long I remember that. I've been to other events like concerts and other large places like that and have never seen such long lines for the bathroom. Must have been people just wanting to get out of the room because they were bored out of there minds.

  • Bryan
    Bryan

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/116825/1.ashx

    CHILD OF THE MIGHTY TOWER

    I’m unaware of my legs and my arms are as clusters of suspension wires steadying the Golden Gate. As my mind screams in fear, begging me to escape even with only half a life, I feel the lone drop of sweat cascade under my shirt down my side to my belt. Another, then another, wet, hot sweat, running, pouring, pooling at my belt. The odor of damp leather seeps through my nostrils as only my eyes manage to dart through the black, stagnant air.

    When the doctor grasped my bloody head and heaved me from my mother’s belly I cried out as a child of the mighty Tower. Sacrificed unto the mysticism of the Truth, carrying the whole armor of God, I took the battle to the dark side of all that is and all that ever was.

    Even though, silent and not seen, I sense each and every… three? No, two at the back. Five! Yes Five! Two at my back! I cannot breath. God give me air to speak, at the very least Your name! They come closer and closer in this musty, dark, old house. Why is my Grandfather’s house filled with these retched, evil fornicators of Beelzebub? And why me, now, here?! Where is my Sword Of The Spirit?! Where is my Shield Of Faith?! Though, even if at my very feet, not a single hair of my body can I sway. My heart will sooner leap from my chest, than my arms reach even to awake myself.

    I have protection! I cannot die as this! Protection my God!
    “Ja!”
    Years long, my training has been. When I wake, when I eat, when I sleep. I am a trained soldier of the Almighty, yet I cannot even move a finger. Shout for help! Yes! Shout! Help!
    “Jah!”
    Why do they always come like this? A thief in my night! I will certainly die of fear before they even lay a single sickle to my throat. Though, I know it is not my head they wish, but my very soul. For, to them, my soul is worth more than seventy-seven virgins. For I am a child of the mighty Tower.
    “Jah!”
    A believer of the Truth for which I will gladly die! I am as the deadliest of poisons to Mephistopheles and his debauched, acerbic Demons, which now control the very air I breathe.
    “Jah!”
    If only His name I could proclaim. The sweat, dripping, pouring - my body so sodden. My brackish lips quiver. Begging to part and scream…
    “!JEHOVAH!”
    Springing at the hips I soar forward. My eyes, frantically, shoot through the darkness. Breath! Breath! My ears reach out to catch any sound. Only the pounding of my heart reverberates in the room as my eyes flit. I don’t feel! They’re gone?
    “Oh my god.”
    I collapse to my bed as the sheet caresses my face, sopping the sweat. It’s over. Everything sticks to me as my heart lightens its pace. Thank god it’s over.
    Why do they keep coming? I must, surely, be a wicked man. If only they would stop.

    This is my reoccurring dream. I’ve had it for decades beginning in my late teens. I am forty-two years old and I have just learned that my step-sister also has experienced this exact same dream. Again and again.

    Is this your dream, too?

    Bryan

    Have You Seen My Mother

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