Bizarre conversations

RebelWife

Okay. Tula and I started talking about this yesterday. Can anybody tell us what's going on here or how to deal with these goofy conversations? We're not talking about anything even remotely connected with religion, God, the bible or JWs. It could be about the dog's water bowl, my car or the weather.

It's like my husband heard a totally different question. For instance, if I ask if he needs me to pick up some more Tums, I won't get a yes or no. I might get something like an explanation of what Tums do for him. He just starts on some long-winded "explanation" sort of answer to a yes or no question. When I re-ask the question, he starts getting angry, especially if I say it's just a simple yes or no that I'm looking for. Sometimes I'll say, "So that's a yes?" This gets him really defensive. He will also say that he's sorry he didn't give me the right answer or didn't answer the way I wanted him to.

I think he's being sarcastic when he says this, but it's really hard to pick up on the sarcasm in his tone. When we are actually arguing, he says words that impy sarcasm, but the tone of voice is missing. It really weirds me out because I can't tell if he's being sincere or not. It didn't used to even occur to me that he might be being sarcastic. I have friends who have been married a LOT longer than we have, and they can't tell when their husbands are pulling their leg, but I can tell their husbands are. So it's not like I'm retarded when it comes to reading people.

The thing about not giving me the right answer or not answering the way I want him to seems really peculiar. I'm like WTF??? When I ask him what that means or tell him I didn't have an answer in mind, he gets argumentative. I totally don't get it.

I feel that cognitive dissidence thing happening to me. Very Twilight Zone. I have to say this used to happen a lot more than it does now, but it still drives me nuts! Has anybody else experienced this? Is it a JW thing or what?

sweetface2233

Sounds like regular human/male/female behavior to me. My question is, why is it when people question weird behavior in XJWs do they ask if it is a JW thing?

carla

My jw got goofy as hell when he first joined too. Ask a simple question and they give some weird answer that has nothing to do with the original question or they feel the need to give some long winded explanation as you stated! Maybe they miss hearing their voices like on Sat mornings or something. I have no idea why this occurs. I suspect they are mimicking some blowhard at the hall without being consciously aware they are even doing it. Frustrating isn't it? Though it can be comical when family asks a simple question and they give some weird answer so the relative looks to you to translate! just validates the jw's are cult for me and finally family can see.

AK - Jeff

I don't know if it is Jw related or not.

But I do know that Jw's are taught from an early age to play 'circle the wagons' when asked uncomfortable questions?

Worldly guy to Jw "So Jay how was your Christmas this year?"

J "We had a nice time off of work"

Worldly guy to Jw "Did your kids get nice presents?"

J "Actually we give them presents all year long, not just on Christmas"

Worldly guy to Jw "Did you do a little drinking over the New Year? [wink]"

J "We don't drink much"

Worldly guy to Jw " I noticed that you were not at the Christmas dinner. Sorry you missed the good time"

J "We were busy and had a pretty nice time elsewhere that evening"

On and on and on and on and on and on!

Jeff

hillbilly

It's a woman thing.......

~Hill

RebelWife

I asked because it's definitely not "regular" in my experience. I didn't realize I was being offensive. If he and I were from different parts of the country and I were in the company of people from that area, I'd probably ask if it's a regional thing.

carla

No it's not a woman thing. My jw was perfectly able to answer simple questions with simple answers before he became a jw. "Did you feed the dog?" pre jw answer, either a simple yes or no or went to get dog food. Jw answer, " do you think he is getting fat? So & so said he was getting fat, you think so? did you give him treats last night? I read that dogs really only need to eat...... did you see the cat? he thinks he is getting something too! " and on and on he will go. My answer, " we need to leave in less than 5 minutes a simple yes or no would do."

The other day one of the kids asked a simple question about the tv remote in which a yes or no would have done or a few short answers. Think that would suffice for a jw? Nooo! he goes on and on about this new service and how this little line means this and you can do x,y & z and don't forget about a,b,c,d,e & f too! Well by now half the damn show was over! This bizarre line of answering is true for nearly any topic. Some days I try to avoid any real conversation because it will now take him at least a half hour to what he used to be able to accomplish in about 5 minutes of speech. Some days if I need to leave the house I keep any conversation to short quick topics so I can get out on time. Not trying to be mean I just have to be somewhere at a specified time.

On the other hand if you start to even dabble in a moral or ethical line of conversation and he knows I will disagree with his jw thinking he will clam up so as not to pollute his mind with my worldly evil thoughts! On to the famous jw 'change the subject' technique.

Ahh yes, the strange world of being a ubm.

Bumble Bee

For instance, if I ask if he needs me to pick up some more Tums, I won't get a yes or no. I might get something like an explanation of what Tums do for him.

If he doesnt' give you a straight answer, don't get him the Tums or whatever it is you are asking he needs. When he asks if you got them, tell him he didn't answer you with a yes or a no, you had no idea if he needed them or not, but thank him for the detailed explanation of what Tums does for him, you had no idea and found it very informative. You're not a mind reader for pete's sake!! Soon he'll get the hint, and the Tums!

I doubt very much this is a JW thing.

BB

sweetface2233

Here is a REGULAR convo that I have at work w/ several different people in different departments:

Me: John, do you need your expense check today or can it wait till I cut checks next week?

John: Well, let's see, in that expense report I have submitted my cell phone and American Express bills. (This is where I stop listening and start entering the expense report for payment). I had a business meeting in Chicago and had to pay for the airfare w/ my personal funds. The American Express bill is due in 2 weeks and the cell phone bill in 3 weeks. I'm taking the wife and kids skiing this weekend and I could use the funds, but I have money in my checking account that could cover it. I'm not going to be here next Wednesday due to a loan closing that I have in Baltimore, MD and a client lunch in DC. I'm wondering if I should get it today or if it would be fine for you to cut it next week. Hmmmm, it's up to you. It really doesn't matter to me. Although, if you have the time today, could I get it today?

Within this amount of time, I have entered the report, cut the check and ran all of the corresponding registers and journal entries. All I wanted was a today or next week answer. No one that I work w/ is a JW or an XJW.

Jim_TX

I do not think that it is JW-related - it is just the person. Why? - is another topic that could go on forever.

My wife does that to me. I will ask her a question - that I thought was worded in a way that could be answered with a 'yes' or 'no' reply. She goes into long explanations - and discussion... I get tired and ask her... "So - is that a 'yes' or 'no'?" She tends to get irate - and whines that I am being too critical of her, etc. What the... ?????

Sometimes I wonder.

Then there is the reverse... she will ask me questions for things that are obvious - if she would just look and listen. But she prefers - for some reason to ask me what I consider innane questions. When I tell her something like - "Just watch and listen." she then gets very defensive and raises her voice to me. Sheesh. I just fgured it was a 'woman' thing.

It tends to make me be 'silent' a lot - alone with my thoughts.

Regards,

Jim TX

Bizarre conversations

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