Who else has zero friends? (page 3)

deaconbluez

I have absolutely no friends. Furthermore, I have absolutely nobody that I can talk to or relate to. I am married, and therefore can't seek friendship from females that I know, either. Most nights, I'll go through the contacts in my phone just looking for somebody to call and do something with, and I always end up alone. I'll end up going to a restaurant with a book and I'll sit at the bar and eat. Yay!

worldtraveller

Friends are for life. If you chose to leave your JW faith, just why would a real friend abandon you? These people were never your friend.

What ever happened to the phrase "friends for life"?

FlyingHighNow

When you are young, it's usually easy to make a lot of "friends." Usually though, they are just acquaintences. As you get older, you understand that true kindred spirits and good, loyal friends are not easy to find. You'll learn to differentiate between the two. Those you envy probably don't have tons of quality, good friends either. Likely mostly they have party companions.

Abandoned

I have absolutely no friends. Furthermore, I have absolutely nobody that I can talk to or relate to. I am married, and therefore can't seek friendship from females that I know, either. Most nights, I'll go through the contacts in my phone just looking for somebody to call and do something with, and I always end up alone. I'll end up going to a restaurant with a book and I'll sit at the bar and eat. Yay!

That sounds like where I was when I first got back to Minnesota in 2004. I joined Match.com (didn't work) and writing.com (did work). So do some research and find out what kind of clubs meet near you. Surely you'll be interested in one of them. And if not, maybe it's a sign to start your own.

((((((((((deaconbluez))))))))))

darth frosty

I believe that this is a situation unique to dubs. Due to the closed nature of the BORG, no worldly friends because they are all ruled by satan, I think that leeriness bleeds over into the BORGanization. Even when I was a faithfull dub I found that if a 'friend' was not in the same congo, The bond was not always as strong as a genuine friendship is.

tula

There are some good tips here: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends

I have found that most of the time, you will need to be the one to reach out and make an effort.

Be on the welcoming committee when someone new arrives in the neighborhood or in your work office. Welcome them with a little something.... maybe a homemade treat, donut, etc. something thoughtful...maybe just bring a coffee to their desk a few times and small talk.

Most people like to be around others who are fun to be around. If you come off as emotionally needy that is usually a turn off. Everyone has their own problems.

Learning to make small talk is important so you can get some ideas of this persons views (positive or negative) to determine if this is someone you even want to be around. After all, friendship is an investment of your time. You will need to determine if there is any common bonds or interests.

Until you know someone really well, I would keep off the topics of religion, politics, and sex. And certainly I would not begin with hello I am a former Jehovahs-witness. Not many people will know how to deal with JW much less ex-JW. Save it for later if you get to know them well.

I really feel bad for those of you who are friendless, and I often see this with other JWs. So I can't help but think this is a particular enigma to the religion.

I have thought it so because all your time is taken up with meetings, door knocking. There's no time left for social events. In that rigid schedule you have no time for anything else.

And besides, most social events like parties and occassions are scorned by the religion. And if you were to join a club of interest, I am sure others from the congo would put you down for it....wasting your time, blah blah blah. Just as with education or anything else you do to improve yourself.

Not to mention, too, having such fear of "wordly" people drilled into your fabric for so long makes it scary to approach anyone outside your cult circle. And the Friends you find within are only conditional.

Who else has zero friends?