Open Relationships, and Society's Cultural Unwritten Boundaries

by frankiespeakin 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  mkr32208

  I don't believe in sexually closed relationships. This springs in fact from my current 'religioius' belief system. I am an atheist and anti-theist. I don't believe in life after death, I don't believe in reincarnation, I don't believe you get another shot at this world so you BETTER enjoy it as much as you can NOW.

  I really don't see what the sex hangup is. I mean if my wife wanted to go play tennis with one of her male friends they would both be excited have elevated heart rates and be sweating like mad so whats the difference between that and sex? Maybe sex is considered different cause you can catch preggers from it but G can't cause she's had a tubal so WTF does it matter?
• 

  Aphrodite

  Maybe its because some people can't seperate controll and sex. In fact Ive noticed that a lot of people think control + sex=love they have no concept of letting go and loving without control. When you have real love, sex is just a bonus. Also, of course you can love more than one person. I never got those scenes you'd see in movies and even RL where people would think you only have "one true love".
• 

  frankiespeakin

  Afro,

  You expresses something I felt for a long time, this thing called love and possesiveness attached to it. I could never see the connection. Your so right and mature for 36.
• 

  frankiespeakin

  I had this freind, & drug dealer who has been spending alot of time around me, and sees I have different women staying with me, well he asked me if any of my gfs had any gfs I could hook him up with,, because he was so mad at his gf for cheating on him. Well I thought of setting him strait on why it is not such a big deal,, but instead just listened to him sypathetically.
• 

  BurnTheShips

  I don't believe in life after death, I don't believe in reincarnation, I don't believe you get another shot at this world so you BETTER enjoy it as much as you can NOW.

  Makes me recall:

  Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.

  And this tune (skip forward to 4:45):

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYqsz-THH0c

  We were above
  You were standing underneath us
  We were not yet lovers
  Dragons were smoked
  Bumblebees were stinging us
  I was soon to be crazy
  
  Eat, drink, and be merry
  For tomorrow we die
  Eat, drink, and be merry
  For tomorrow we die
  'Cause we're Tripping Billies
  
  We're wearing nothing
  Nothing but our shadows
  Shadows falling down on the beach sand
  Remembering once,
  Out on the beaches we wore
  Pineapple grass bracelets
  
  So why would you care
  To get out of this place
  You and me and all our friends
  Such a happy human race
  
  'Cause we're Tripping Billies
  
  We are all sitting
  Legs crossed round a fire
  My yellow flame she dances
  Tequila drinking, oh, our
  Minds will wander
  To wondrous places
  
  So why would you care
  To get out of this place
  You and me and all our friends
  Such a happy human race
  
  Eat, drink, and be merry
  For tomorrow we die
  Eat, drink, and be merry
  For tomorrow we die
• 

  ButtLight

  I know this much, in order to be in a strong relationship, and practice that kind of life style, there is no room what-so-ever for jealousy! You really have to sit back and say, its just sex! It can actually boost your sex life with your partner too, if you both have the same understanding. (not that I'm speaking from experience here!)
• 

  JH

  Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment, than for this topic.
• 

  WTWizard

  There should be only one boundary: One should not initiate the use of force, coercion, threat of force, or fraud against another individual or their property. If that rule was the only one that had to be followed, it would solve so many of our problems. It would simplify legal matters greatly. It would allow people to start their own businesses, and if they were honest, they could take down dishonest businesses handily. We would have a new energy source. We could mess up parts of the environment, and someone else could find a solution to clean it up and make money in the process (canceling out the damage). We could once again express our feelings without causing someone that wants to make things harder to sue us to discourage courtship. And, we could once again use scientifically correct instead of politically correct language.

  However, that would not allow the Watchtower pedophiles to get away with it, even if the age of consent were done away with. Those monsters almost always abuse their supposed authority to coerce children to consenting, which is against the one prime law. Then they use further coercion to silence the victim, also against the rule. It would, in fact, make prosecuting those pedophiles that much easier without setting up additional barriers in society that are intended to stop all courtship activity.

  In fact, it would spell the end of the Watchtower Society. They initiate fraud by lying about the Bible and how they follow it, and coerce people with death threats into joining. They alter the Bible to make it prove what they want to say. Then, when someone sees the truth, they coerce them into staying (and sometimes even using force itself). All the while, they create zero value. Then it becomes necessary to limit valid excuses for missing meetings to the three F's (fever, fracture, funeral). And they have hounder-hounder-hounders banging on the podium like a video game player who has a bad game. If only they would obey the Prime Law stated above, they wouldn't have that problem.
• 

  joelbear69

  lots of sociological factors at work.

  1. sex is no longer linked directly to procreation. in the developed world

  especially, these two factors continue to drift further and further apart.

  2. equality of women. ok, we are definitely still not there, but wow looks

  at the change in the status of women in the last 100 years. the vote,

  the pill, careers of their own leading to financial independence rather

  than having to trade sex and keep up the home for sustanance from

  the male bread winner.

  3. the lessening of sex as the bond that keeps people together. other

  psychological factors continue to become more important than sex to

  maintaining lasting relationships. if sex isn't the bond, then open

  relationships are more likely to be successful.

  I've enjoyed my 19 year open relationship, its going strong because

  we are tied together at the heart, not the genitals.

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  lonelysheep

  For argument's sake here, I'm only referring to a two-person couple absent of a thrid party ever. I've changed a lot over the last year or so. My mind is opening up more and more.

  I think a two-person monogamous relationship should be so by mutual decision and consciously. It's not something that should be decided upon hastily or out of obligation (legal contract of marriage/kids, or anything else). I cannot see monogamy truly existing any other way. I am not against it-I feel it is a personal choice and can respect it if that is the case. Nonetheless, that is the only type of monogamy and love I want in my life with anyone. It is in my experience that men do not love, they only control and possess.

  Now, for open relationships, I think it is best to have an open relationship if monogamy is not a true desire for both individuals. That is the most loving a person can be. One cannot own another person's body. To admit to that and live by it takes a tremendous amount of respect.