Quote: That image looks like Julie Andrews to me, which makes it very disturbing.
Funny, that makes it very hot, for me. Have you seen Thoroughly Modern Millie"?
Open Relationships, and Society's Cultural Unwritten Boundaries
by frankiespeakin 29 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
R.Crusoe
Men do love. Saying they control and possess is more a response to having been around men who have been born into a culture indoctrinated with organised religious/social dogma. Remember in the JWs how you would emotionally respond to things you had been made to think were due to satans influence or your own weakness. Whatever humans are told when young will attach itself to their emotion and self esteem and ability to connect with others at all sorts of levels. Some men and women are experiencing self torture through thinking respectability is linked to religious rules they were brainwashed with as children. They then search for this in others where it does not exist and further problems ensue for everyone. It is a conflict/conflict situation. Life should be far more about solutions and understanding and letting each other be who they are - even encouraging adventure just to display friendship and trust prior to expecting love and loyalty. Love and loyalty should grow from a paired communication and open relationship whereby each are unafraid to be honest about whether they want in or out or mix and match. In such a climate truth will flourish.
The problem in life may be how to find what you truly think after years of knowing you have been conditioned and doing that can mean some break boundaries better left out of the equation, but in states of trauma humans sometimes over reach themselves. It is sad that some adults have not had the trial and error childhoods others have lived in coming to a reasonably healthy situation in lifes journey. It can render them even more reluctant and insecure about life - especially when around people who still hold fast to dogma and rules you would prefer to escape and explore what your soul truly feels in an atmosphere of affection and acceptance and understanding.
The Sodom and Gomorah mularkey seems to brand humans as evil and this I could grasp if children were resulting from illicit behaviours and then neglected. I wonder whether any God would truly be upset at the ideas above when compared to the works of organised religion down the centuries? It somehow seems much easier for an organisation to sidestep accountability and declare itself holy than for a human to behave as they feel and do so peacefully amongst like minded souls. A paradox in many ways. If I were God I know whom I would view as behaving according to how they were created!
-
Aphrodite
Not all men are controlling or unloving, some are for sure. My husband is not and some of the husbands of my girlfriends are not. They are truly loving giving men. Gentlemen, fun, outgoing and sociable. All of the women in my circle of friends are what I would call "new age" women. Strong, yet feminine, we all love our husbands and I'd definately say our husbands are NOT controlling. So maybe you just haven't found the right one.
-
thom
I have no problem with open relationships, but for myself, I don't want to be in one. I demand NOTHING from my wife. She demands NOTHING from me. We can do as we please, but we both choose to have a closed sexual relationship. That is what we both want, so it serves us well. I don't believe that getting married makes a person any less of the individual that they are. Their husband or wife has no control over them, but I do believe that they may choose to do or not do things because they want to please or not displease their mate. I try to do that, so does my wife. When my previous wife decided she wanted another man, that was fine. It's her choice, not mine to make. We peacefully parted ways.
-
BurnTheShips
On the grounds that every one is master over thier own body, and so to demand loyalty in the use of anothers body seems wrong.
It isn't a demand of one over the other, I think. It is a surrender of oneself to the other. An expression of love.
Besides, I have children. Thats not an environment for a child to grow up in.
-
frankiespeakin
Burn,
I see what you are saying, and feel that common sense should be used, and alway treat kids with kindness, try to have a good impact in their life, all the children I come in contact with I always try to speak with play with, these kids jump all over me and their mothers are alway telling them to stop climbing all over me, and I'm always saying they arn't misbehaiving, they just got lots of energy.
-
Ancient One
Very well said frankiespeakin. Mind if I ask you, how would you feel about female president of US of A? I guess that is where it really shows how liberal we are or are not.
For an "open relationship" to work people need to be particularly open-minded first and foremost. Which means, no jealousy, in fact you enjoy yourself seeing your partner getting sexually fulfilled by someone else. What does this have with female president? Whole lot actually, how do we look at female figure leading in any setting. What I find somewhat surprising is that many ladies in "open relationships" got lured into the idea by husbands wanting to "explore". According to my friend who is into swing scene very few ladies initiate the first step. Mostly husbands do it, according to him 80% and then in order to do someone else's wife they have to "become open minded" in process.
-
Aphrodite
Thats interesting, but not the case in our relationship. In fact it was my idea, not so much because of the sex part but because it was a natural progression on from the freedoms we were allowing ourselves after breaking free of the cult. I thought we should be free to express ourselves in all ways, emotionally, physically, spiritualy, sexualy, secularly etc. As long as we are not hurting anyone or ourselves. Of course our kids don't know, but then do YOUR kids know about your sex lives? Really kids have no impact on this. Our kids are happy well adjusted individuals who have been taught to think for themselves.
-
frankiespeakin
AO,
As far as w a women being president I feel anyone who cares for the poor, ahead of interests of large corporations would be good, male or female. But the US style "democratic"(hegemony) system gets no support from me, Hilary's stand on the Iran issue, with the words: "no option can be taken off the table." Clearly she is in favor of using limited tactical nuclear weapons(bunker-buster tactical nuclear weapon) on Iran if nessasarry. The whole system needs to be scrapped, and a better model much closer to a "True Democracy" replacing it,, one that is transparent to the common people(dismantle the CIA, do away with the Patriot Act,and shut down the "School of the Americas"). Also set up a system with ability to have a no-confidence vote anytime while a leader is in office to remove them from office if they fuck up.
-
AWAKE&WATCHING
I respect the fact that this works for some. I would never be comfortable with an open relationship. Never. If I am in love with someone I could never and would never share that person sexually. Ever. I may be narrow minded and if so then so be it. This has nothing to do with religious views on my part. I just believe that sex is such a bonding act that it really should be between 2 people that care for one another in a way that they care for no one else. I'll shut up now.
Damn ! stop throwing things at me! I said I don't have a problem with anyone else having that kind of relationship.