Hi A&W
I think our greatest strengths can also be our worst weakensses sometimes. For me just recongnising that about myself is very liberating.
Take care of yourself - having a positive attitude is wonderful - treasure it.
ql
~Pollyanna - Positive Attitude ~ Is there something wrong with me?
by AWAKE&WATCHING 23 Replies latest jw friends
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Tatiana
(((((((Awake))))))
I would write a long post, but just don't have the energy to relive anything today.
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frankiespeakin
A&W,
God I read over my posts on your thread, and I beleive I left out something. I think you have had some "Ahaaa!" moments in your life, and have come to grips with many problems, with out the aid(I'm assuming) of professional help like a Pyschiatrist, sorta like a introspective look at the working of your heart and mind. Anyway I'm glad for you.
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AWAKE&WATCHING
I want to reply to everyone who responded to my post. I've had an emotional couple of days and I appreciate your care and concern.
dogisgood - You read it right.
joannadandy - You are right about how knowing who I am and what I need is a gift. I absolutely view it that way. I am very intune with myself. My issue is that I feel guilty that I have this ability when so many others don't. Thank you for pointing out that it the fact that I am able to move past things quickly doesn't make me defective in some way.
wednesday - Thank you, I am not only surviving, I am thriving. I am also no longer a victim. I absolutely believe it is harder for those of you that were raised in the cult to move on.
Mincan - My dear boy, you are wise beyond your years. You are "spot on" in regards to using the JW's as a coping mechanism. Since I am no longer able to do that I have pulled everything out of the closet so that I can face it.
Maddie - I don't feel like anything is buried. I think that I have dealt with it to the point of also being able to recognize the positive influences that the people that hurt me have also had on my life. To me, that recognition and acceptance was HUGE.
JK666 - You quoted a friend, " Pain is necessary, suffering is optional." I couldn't agree more. We all have trauma and baggage. The difference is how we deal with it. I'm going to write that quote down. I'll remember it when I feel guilty for choosing not to suffer.
frankiespeakin - I am a do-it-yourselfer and I agree that that makes me one of the lucky ones. The damage doesn't have to be permanent, having scars from my past doesn't mean allowing them to affect my future. I've just been in a slump, afraid that because I've dealt with the abuse issues and my exodus from the cult as well as I have that surely must mean something is wrong with me.
flipper - I have my "off" days and I do allow myself to feel the pain. Then I move on. I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my entire life then I am at this period of time. The truth has set me free and I relish that freedom with my whole being.
jaguarbass - I wasn't in therapy when I began to remember the abuse. I believe that leaving the cult made some of my "pushed to the back of my mind because Jehovah would fix everything" issues return. While dealing with those issues the others came up as well.
jgnaut - You "nutshelled" it. I attack life with a vengeance. I am comfortable in my own skin. I like myself for the first time in my life because I am making my own choices and setting goals. I admit that I don't like the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, but I will be o.k. if that's how it ends up. I have enough friends, family and interests to keep excitement in my life.
Tatiana - Hugs to you sweetie, I know just what you mean, that's why I wasn't able to answer everyone at the same time.
ql - I will be more appreciative of my positive attitude and get over the guilt. It's silly to feel guilty for feeling good.
Thanks again everyone, I hope I didn't miss anyone.
