With every breath that I took, I wanted the JWs to be right... (page 2)

JK666

cognac,

I feel your pain, I have been there. Just take a deep breath, a hot bath, or whatever chills you out.

You need to formulate a plan, but do not be too hasty. The (overwhelming) anger will pass in time.

I too was a true believer. This too shall pass.

JK

DT

Welcome Cognac. You have racked up a good number of posts in the last few days.

I think you have hit on one of the biggest problems with the JW's. They try not to deny you an honorable way to leave and use intimidation to prevent you from asking reasonable questions or using your conscience. This, in itself, is powerful evidence that they are wrong.

Fading seems to be the popular choice. I DA'd and found it to be liberating. I have a lot of family inside, but they aren't that close and I was disturbed by their self rightiousness and toxic influence. I hope I can someday repair those ties under different circumstances. It's your choice, just feel free to take your time.

jwfacts

You start to appreciate how wrong it all is when you realise you are unable to speak to your friends and family about what is so important to you, knowing that in an instant they can all be taken away from you.

I found it to be an extreme relief when I was d/f. But I would not recommend you d/a, at least not straight away. For your own emotional well being, it is better to take time to think things through and build up a new social group and new friends not related to the Watchtower. Before being d/f I spent a couple of years making new friends and it made such a difference having them to lean on through through the bad times. You will quickly find that there are many "worldly people" that are just as loving as Witnesses, and their friendship is not contingent on labels such as religion.

flipper

COGNAC- I am sorry you are going through this stress. We have all been here, many of us. The reason your family cannot understand what you are seeing so plainly in your mind, is because they, the witnesses are under , " cult mind control". They are so mind controlled on what to think, and how to view things from only ONE way, they have no critical thinking ability to to see things from different angles or " outside the box" so to speak. The governing body dictates to them how to view the information from their own publications , so they only have the one source. It limits them mentally to think clearly.

So, be patient , you are frustrated because you are seeing the real " truth " about things and the scales are falling from your eyes. Maybe some of them will see it in time. Just hang out here sis, and you will get lots of fine people encouraging you , and being a true friend to you. Please feel free to PM my wife and me if you need to vent. Hang in there sis! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Abandoned

I wish I had advice for you, but all I can offer you is a sincere (((((((((((((((((((( hug ))))))))))))))))))))

searcher

conac,

While I was never a JW (or anything else) I do have a very large family on both sides, I felt ‘uncomfortable’ with most of them for some reason.

So I sat back a while and observed them as if they were strangers I had just met for the first time and asked myself “would you really want this person as a friend?”.

Observing them this way gave me the opportunity to asses them as PEOPLE, not with any ‘family loyalty’ emotion.

It worked, I found that what was making me uncomfortable was the fact that, at base, they were not very nice people and I wouldn’t really want them in my life.

This made it easier for me to step back from most of them and life got much easier for me.

Maybe a similar strategy would work for you with your JW family and friends?

BTW, all this happened when I was 11 years old, I have never felt so free as after I made my decision.

LouBelle

Hi Cognac.

Do what is best for you - what will make you happy.

So what if you just fade, at least your family will talk to you.

For my part I just couldn't shut up about all the new stuff I was learning, thus I got D'Fed - Though it made me angry at first and some family don't talk to me - it was best for me.

Open mind

"Just mad now cause the closest people to me I really can't even speak to about this... "

I feel your pain.

Hoping someday they'll wake up.

OM

sweet pea

Cognac, what you're going through is totally natural as you are facing a very UNNATURAL situation!

Please don't do anything rash - I did and regret it.

I didn't take the majority of the advice here and now I have NO ACCESS to those I love (other than my ma and pa, luckily they're not die hard JW's).

If you are clever you can fade and still influence others that you love but you have to be prepared that helping them might take years.

On the other hand I felt exactly how you do and couldn't be a hypocrite in any way and I opened my big mouth to everyone.

Very quickly we (Besty and I) were disfellowshipped for apostasy.

The first seven months after finding out the truth about the truth were the most emotional and traumatic of my life but now the fog is lifting and life is better. We have new friends, have been in contact with old friends that left and life free from lies, without the worry of constantly looking over our shoulders for people wanting to dob us in for the slightest thing is great.

Think carefully. Wait 6 months before you do anything major.

With every breath that I took, I wanted the JWs to be right...

Nathan Natas