With every breath that I took, I wanted the JWs to be right... (page 3)

oompa

Thats a bitch aint it........you will not have to run to your husband.....because he already knows.......but somehow you will have to tell him anyway........oompa

Doubting Bro

cognac,

I didn't get a chance to respond to your intro thread, but first - welcome to the board!

Please understand that you are not alone. I felt exactly the same way when the light bulb first came on. I read that your husband also has doubts. At this point, I would make sure to only talk to him about what you are finding out. It doesn't sound like he'll rat you out.

Feeling like you've lived and put all your energy into a lie is probably one of the hardest things to deal with. Make sure that you have a plan if you want to keep contacts with your family & friends.

This board has been so helpful to me that I honestly can't describe it. Just knowing that I can vent away has made the last few years bearable.

Your feelings of betrayal will eventually fade. Please don't make any rash decisions.

blondie

2. Fade, but still "counted" as a JW. Another words, still a part of them.

Actually, you are not counted any longer. They do retain your card but they do that with df'd and da'd jws too. Try fading first but just stop attending meetings and turning in time. You could do it over a period of a few months. There will be a small flurry of attention and then you will be ignored.

"you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. ...

*** w57 2/15 p. 114 par. 4 How Jehovah’s Witnesses View Their Ministry ***Being one of Jehovah’s witnesses means more than saying, ‘I am one of Jehovah’s witnesses.’ Are you witnessing? Regularly? All physically able have the responsibility to preach publicly and from house to house, as did Jesus, and in addition take advantage of all opportunities to witness to friends, neighbors, etc., while the physically infirm are privileged to witness to visitors, write letters, make telephone calls, and in other ways share in giving the mighty witness. Without exception each witness of Jehovah is aware of his obligations in this regard, as set out in Ezekiel 3:17-21. If one does not witness, he is not one of Jehovah’s witnesses. To call ourselves witnesses of Jehovah and then to refrain from witnessing, which is ministering, would be taking Jehovah’s name in a vain or worthless way. Never may that happen, and it will not so long as a proper view of the ministry is maintained.

chickpea

i spent nearly 3 prayerful years begging to believe the borg had not mislead me......

vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit..... bidden or unbidden god is present....... that was a sticky note i had written to myself when despair loomed large.... and i looked at it every single day when i stood at the bureau and dressed because it was in my sight line intentionally.... and i prayed, begged, bid, invoked, pled, demanded, cajoled, asked god to reveal his nature to me....... and the first bit of the "answer" was to come to understand what he(?) is NOT..... and he is NOT the god of the borg......... i was/am livid!!!.... at their duplicity and my gullibility and that is where i am in this process

truly yours.... OURS... is a righteous anger...... just be careful how you wield it....

mouthy

My advice would be >. Fade, but still "counted" as a JW. Another words, still a part of them.
When I was "ousted" there was none of these sights out there 1987 . So I lost my loved ones to the WT because I had always taught them" THERE WAS NO OTHER TRUTH"
I thought I was a Judas .....Now I wish I had faded ,it would have given me a chance to at least talk to them,,,,, But there is no way she will talk to me now ( my daughter, grand-daughter ) especially after she GOOgled my name !!!! Wish Google had minded there own buisness LOL

AK - Jeff

Fade or DA. It is a helluva choice isn't it?

Personally, I tried to 'fade' for about three years, but I was so mad at the organization that I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Even thru that period, my best friends inside the organization began to 'shun' me anyway. Virtually no one came to visit us. We were marked 'apostate' without a trial. Then we began to want to celebrate life, birthdays, holidays, politics, attend other churches if we liked. Word got back [of course] and they came after me - I DA'd at that point rather than let them think they had control of the situation. [Still some tend to criticize that choice as 'playing by their rules', but in my case it felt like I was able to control at least the way they threw me out.]

Now, I don't have to play by their standards - I can hang a flag, Christmas lights, grow a beard. I don't care what they think. And I think if I had tried to continue fading, I would always be looking over my shoulder to see if I was 'busted'. So I am happy with the DA choice.

As far as having anyone [within the org] to talk to about the things you have learned - it rarely works out that way - fade or DA. They begin to clam up and have little to do with you when you walk away.

I hope you find a way that fits YOU. Peace to you.

Jeff

isnrblog

"To thine own self be true"

Hypocrisy is hard work. I can see the inner conflicts it is creating in you.

I was a JW for 50 years, now disfellowshipped, apostate and shunned. Honestly, I am at peace with myself for the first time in my life. I have been DF'd for 6 years now and I'm fine. My family doesn't speak to me, that's fine too. I have and continue to uncover so many lies and inconsistancies in the literature, I was a first shocked. Now its amusing.

Rememeber, the Bethel guy who invented disfellowshipping got a huge bonus because that is the best way to keep you in chains. Some hard choices but you need inner peace.

Best of luck, Fred

www.isnrblog.com

TweetieBird

I know exactly how you feel. I use to pray that I could believe it was the truth again since it's much easier with the blinders on.

I have been successfully fading for the past several years but it required moving from my hometown. My husband had doubts long before I did and when I finally confessed to him that I read Crisis of Conscience and didn't believe it was the truth anymore, he said that he had felt that way for years but was afraid that I would leave him if he wasn't a JW. Fast forward to the present, we have recently been found out by the family that we no longer attend meetings and have thus been shunned by our family. I dreaded it for years but now I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off of me. Blood is not thicker than water. But, I can now do what I feel is right. As long as I have my husband and kids (which I do) it doesn't matter if the rest of the family wants to have anything to do with us. They are a messed up bunch anyway.

As a side-note: A really good book that helped me through this is "The Four Agreements" which is how I try to live each day now.

dawg

Sad that the choices are limited... but they are... and everytime I read I think about all that fornication "mouthy" is committing... it must be true becasue shes being shunned... Remember the reasons Paul the apostate gave for shunning, and I can lay a bet that mouthy does none of them. Yet she had the gall to call it like it is. That got her shunned.

I always use mouthy as an example becasue I know she won't mind, and I'm pretty damn certain shes not a gross sinner. So the price you pay for your honestly... shunning by all you love. Cult, Cult Cult.. this is a cult no doubt...

Sorry Mouthy... you're just the perfect example.

wannaexit

hang in there, the anger will subside and you will be able to think clearly.

With every breath that I took, I wanted the JWs to be right...

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