2nd AA meeting. Would value opinions

digderidoo

I went to my 2nd AA meeting last night and came away with doubts as to whether this would work for me, so would value peoples opinion especially those who attend AA.

There were one or two there that were quite evangelical, which obviously works for them. Also within the program there is alot of emphasis on God or a higher power. For many this higher power is the group itself, yet for some it is God.

I spoke to someone sitting by me about this who said that to make sobriety sometimes you have to fake it and go along with the God thing.

At the end of meetings there is a short prayer which i do not want to take part in. Yet prior to this being said one of the evangelical types said for the new members (refering to me) make sure you say God because obviously i wouldnt know the rest.

I havent really spoke yet so no one knows my JW past. But on leaving i felt extremely wound up that i was being preached to. Partly it reminded me of the kingdom hall. On the other hand i have no intention of faking it as i intend to be as honest as i can at the group.

In all honesty i was that wound up that i went into the off licence on the way home. Intent on buying some beer i came out with a bottle of lemonade.

Today is my 7th day sober and i know this is down to the group. So i will carry on with these meetings but would value the opinion of those who attend AA as to how they dealt with this issue. Feel free to PM me if you would rather not post.

Paul

darkuncle29

Not an AA atendee, but my sister went to NA. I wish that she'd stuck with it.

I don't know you from Adam, but I think for now, being newly sober, that going would be a good thing for you. I agree that the evangelical types there are going to push your exJW/cult buttons. The fact that you can see that I think is a good sign. I don't know about your area, but I've heard that there are some atheist AA groups. I think an important part of the AA or therapy route in sobriety is to learn about yourself, what your triggers are, to know how you think and react to stimuli. And armed with that knowledge, learn to adjust or adapt healthier habbits and thinking.

Anyway, good luck with it.

blondie

Check out some other meetings. I went to one (Al-Anon) that was only those with "higher power" thinking and no repeating of the Lord's prayers. Quite a few atheists in this area who want to get sober. Just find a meeting that meets your needs.

OnTheWayOut

I had some problems with the "higher power" or "God" thing. Fortunately, in my city, I found
the ATHEIST, AGNOSTIC, or ANYONE ELSE, ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS. They don't
say the Serenity prayer, and most members don't include God in their discussions. They
have a moment of silence instead of prayer (many groups do that) and they don't care what you
believe.

Even if such a group is not available to you, or won't work with your schedule and logistics, you
can learn to ignore the "higher power" stuff. You can substitute the A.A. program or the goodness
in mankind for the higher power. That's not as easy as it sounds, so you might just have to stay
stuck on the second step for a long time. Even though I found a group that fits me, I am stuck
on the second step, but staying sober for now. You can be there for years if necessary.

What they say in A.A. is cliche but true. "Take what you need, leave what you don't need."
After attending the Atheist Agnostic meetings, I am able to take the other type of meetings
a bit easier. You can also simply voice your problem with God or beliefs at the meetings. I have
done that, saying that I was a member of a mind-control cult and am angry at any God that might
exist. Just be yourself and say what you need. If you get flack from the group, try to find another
group that doesn't allow criticizing the things other members say- most groups don't allow
crosstalk, meaning you say your piece if you want to and nobody is allowed to attack what you
say.

OnTheWayOut

Oh, another thing that helps:

Until I found the group that worked for me, I attended a group that was vastly
different from me and my former JW beliefs. What I mean is- I went to "Boys Town"
in my city. The A.A. group was very gay. I have learned not to be judgmental of
others, and I have no problem with gay people, but I am a hetero married male.

I was able to look past the obvious differences between me and the others and be
good friends. I put myself in the minority and was accepted by these folks. Since
they accepted me, I would accept and overlook their differences with me, which
includes their belief in God, prayer, miracles, whatever.

I am not suggesting a gay group, but suggesting a group that is just very very
different from your personality, until you find one that is very aligned with yours.
It will teach you to look past differences.

mouthy

I havent read all the replies .but I read where you were 7 days O.K.
I have attended MANY meetings. I dont drink but I had members in my family that were drinkers. My Brother in law lost wife, kids, EVERY thing> house belongings> because he was a boozer
He was forced to attend AA by the courts. I am very pleased to say it helped him,Is a big Boss in a Company now ,hasnt drank in 20 years ( fell of the wagon twice in those 20) But swears by AA. If you have a belief in God ---In my opinion HE helps-if you dont!!! I hope you will do it on WILL POWER! that can help also I think

Boy!! I for one am rooting for you.... I pat any one on the back that can overcome an addiction. My self booze made a lot of my life unberable. My DAD! MY HUBBY! MY SON!! Now my Grand-son is in trouble with it. GOOD LUCK my friend Keep us informed ....

bikerchic

Congrats on your 7th day of sobriety!

Keep it up! Keep going to the meetings even if you don't find one that doesn't do the God thing you need to be there to stay sober and like they say use what works for YOU, pass on the rest and be generous enough in you heart to understand that what you find to be crap someone else is finding it to be what keeps them sober.

As they say WORK the program, it is work! You'll find everything in life that is good comes with a struggle I'm sure you're up to the task and I wish you success!

Keep going back it works!

bikerchic

I forgot to say as with anyone struggling with an addiction a diet or whatever your struggles are we always look for the reason why we can no longer do it and that comes from our weak side. That is exactly why we are needing this kind of help in the first place, don't give in to it.

You're learning all kinds of new things about yourself and all of them will feel strange until you incorporate the new way of living and thinking into your life. It takes time and it's a constant battle to drown out the old ways the old programs and tapes that go on in your head trying to justify your old ways of coping. It's a battle to learn new ways to think about yourself and new ways to cope but you can do it!

Two good books which will help you along in this are by M. Scott Peck, M.D. The Road Less Traveled and Further Along The Road Less Traveled.

Remember no one will work harder on your life than YOU.

Satanus

I went there as an evangelical, heehee, when i was a christian, looking to save them. I agree on not faking it. Look at other aa groups. Some won't allow the religious evangelicals to prey on attendees. As for the god/higher power thing, it can be anything. Maybe see it as a part of yourself, or the subconscious.

S

JK666

dig,

Congratulations! Seven days without a drink, and talked yourself into buying the lemonade. You are doing well! Others may think that a week without drinking is no big deal, but those of us in recovery know how hard it is to get there.

I had a problem with the group prayer thing when I got to AA, and the Bible thumpers bugged me. The Jesus freaks still irritate me, but if it works for them fine, as long as they don't shove it down the newcomer's throat. OTWO was right that some meetings are less into that sort of thing. I live in a much smaller town than him, but we even have an agnostic meeting here too.

I resigned myself to the fact that the program does work, even though I don't understand how. As for getting a sponsor, look for someone who has a similar personality, and has done the 12-steps. A lot of the JW stuff most others will not understand, but those are things you can share here. I eventually crossed paths with someone in AA that was raised in a JW family, and talking to him helped me a bunch.

Don't let the things that bother you close your mind.

John

2nd AA meeting. Would value opinions

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