by digderidoo 40 Replies latest jw friends
Grace, I knew you would know that one. It just plum evaded me for a minute.
My best friend and I had that scripture posted on our refrigerators. That one scripture should reach out above religion to our humanity. How many of us would walk by a stranger who has fallen and possibly injured and not help??!! Most of our injuries these days are not visible to the naked eye. Compassion, kindness, emphathy goes a long way.
No browbeating, no judgements, just simple kindness.
No browbeating, no judgements, just simple kindness. AMEN!!!!!
My experience with AA (as a family member of a former emotional drinker)
They tried to make him a "victim". That he had no control except to never drink again. That this was a life-long disease or battle. Not a matter of personal responsiblity. He was condemed for life.
Sorry AA didn't work at all and created a deep depression and feelings of worthlessness and failure. In the end we went with medication that took the 'edge' off while he drank less and less and learned new coping skills and healthier interactions and dietary choices. The body's metabolism adapts with dietary changes. We worked on increasing his tolerance to alcohol too, he learned to drink with meals not on an empty stomach. He was able to regain self control and respect. We got to the reasons why he drank (emotional/coping), and he learned that drinking was not an acceptable crutch. He learned how to drink as an adult. He learned personal responsibility. We are all much healthier, wealthier and wise as a result of him becoming more "full" of his own being.
We enjoy wine tours, occassional cocktails and adult moderation.
AA often on treats the symptoms not the root.
Most alcoholics drink to forget, dull the pain, not to feel lonely, or to fit in the crowd. All are coping skills or self esteem based problems.
But that is just my two cents and experience.
Agape
Yknot
They tried to make him a "victim". That he had no control except to never drink again. That this was a life-long disease or battle. Not a matter of personal responsiblity. He was condemed for life.
Sorry I have to disagree with you!!! I believe it is a disease...I have seen so many go to the end in trouble over drinking. Once an alcoholic I believe always an aloholic ....Your friend must have been a "drunk:" there is a differance ...Someone can be a drunk & get very sick the next day! not drink for ages until his next drunk but an Alcoholic wants to drink everyday in MY Opinion.
Lets agree to disagree
I started attending AA meetings in 1989 and am still going even though it is sporadic these days. At first it bothered me about the higher power, the Serenity Prayer and the Our Father at the end of the meeting. You have to remember, I was a JW elder when I started attending and we didn't believe the same as those "religious crazies"....remember!
But it worked for me and I have some really great friends in AA. The praying doesn't bother me at all now because I am still a believer but now I call myself a Christian. But lets get away from the Christian aspect and talk!
One thing that bothers me about....not AA itself...but a lot of people in AA who make it as bad as a cult......saying if you don't attend all the meetings, you will fail. NOT TRUE! As I said, I only go to a meeting now and then these days, but a lot of my friends still go to a lot of meetings.
Now if you want to look into something other than AA, I would suggest Rational Recovery. It works too! Nothing at all said about God or a higher power. It is a great alternative for a lot of people.
I have their book and it is great.
Good luck on you road to sobriety.
HappyDad
I have a friend who went to A.A.
He Lost a leg through drink driving. Together we made a lot of money with a publication we produced helping people who had lost limbs intergrate themselfs back into society.
It was highly succesful because I did the telesales and he visited the clients on his crutches. I always felt guilty that I was making easy money. But the publicatin was credible.
Anyway to answer your question my alcoholic partner attended meetings all the time. But he needed this publication . Without it I think he could of drank again.
I think you should stick with the meetings and find somthing positive in life with a bigger picture than you. Hope that doesnt sound condesending. But what I mean is life doesnt need to be perfect to be wonderful.
They tried to make him a "victim". That he had no control except to never drink again. That this was a life-long disease or battle. Not a matter of personal responsiblity. He was condemed for life.
There is a fairly well documented genetic connection to addictive behavior. If he's an alcoholic he has a disease that can be treated, but not cured. If he's found a path that works for him, great. Those other paths don't work for most of us, and never for actual alcoholics.
Well then I guess he wasn't an alcoholic by your standards but the AA person swore up and down he was. He has been drinking in moderation (no drunkeness, and not daily) for 11 years now. We found most of the reasons he turned to alcohol had to do with not being able to handle his feelings. He had some traumatic experiences and being a male was not given the tools or space/ acceptance to deal with the implications. He found it socially acceptable in the male community to use alcohol to mask all kinds of things. Before counseling he drank daily, if alone to the point of losing time, he would show signs of physical dependence if he didn't have a drink. He did have some withdrawl but the medication helped take the edge off. We approached it like quitting cigarettes, less and less and less. The new coping skill is what gave him empowerment to overcome. My dad too was diagnosed as an alcoholic, actually he was more of a weekly binge drinker, this approach also helped him. One size doesn't fit all. I do agree there are those who exhibit addictive "personalities" but a behaviorist would agree that changes to the environment, modifying stimulus etc will yield effects. We did consult a behaviorial specialist as part of the counseling.
If this is truly a disease then there are different treatment methods. I would more liken this to type 2 diabetes if it is a disease.
I wrote you a nice long encouraging post but it got lost when I submitted it.
It works if you work it.
90 meetings in 90 days.
You have to surrender your will to the god of your understanding.
At AA meetings do you get the opportunity to speak?. If so why not be honest about how you feel, that will go a long way to relieving the tension you feel afterwards. At the end of the day the AA mean well. Otherwise find another group that works better for you.
7 days and counting - strength and courage to you to continue in this new path.
