really need some help please (page 2)

OnTheWayOut

How could she do this to me?!?!?! I never did anything wrong and I aways cared for her.
...... I broke up with her because of her religion and so she'd be happy and she backstabbed me.

She didn't do this "to you." She was too manipulated by Jehovah's Witnesses and she finally
broke out of their demands upon her mind. She didn't know how to handle breaking free, and
got out of control.

Likely, when she broke up with you, she meant what she said and wanted to be a good JW.
When she broke free, you were not there getting drunk with her, so the nearest guy would have
to do. When she sobered up, she felt bad about herself and might have wanted a "bad boy"
nearby.

Regardless of any advice you get here, it hurts. I doubt that you are finished with her even though
we recommend walking away. You feel some sort of responsibility/care for her. So it is going to
hurt more before it ever might get better. If you can't walk away, tell her you are moving on
with your life, but are always available to talk as a friend. If she takes you up on it when she's
on the rebound from one of these destructive relationships, don't have sex with her. Build a trust
or just listen. Catching some disease isn't worth it. Even if you don't get a disease, you would
become just another guy who used her.

Burger Time

Sounds to me like she lost her Virginity before her trip to Croatia. Guilt got the best of her and she may be trying to save face.

nomoreguilt

OOOOOH ERICH! As a guy, I understand your sense of betrayal. I went through that 40 years ago. I was younger, like you and thought I was in love. I went into the service, she went to college, she went crazy with her new found freedom from parents and that was all she wrote.She wasn't a jw, but it's like so many other young people, once they get away on their own, they lose all of their inhibitions. Your life's journey is only beginning young man. There are soooooo many great women out there waitng to be found. Take your time, and she'll be there. Just don't under ANY UNCERTAIN TERMS "EVER" "NEVER" get involved with a JW female again. BELIEVE ME!!!!!!!!! Thank you

NMG

Abandoned

She betrayed me and it hurt. On top of that, she continued to tell me that two days later she went to a club and gave another random guy oral sex and this time she wasn't drunk.

Dude, no offense, but you broke up with her and now you feel betrayed? She probably felt even more betrayed which is why she was able to toss her beliefs aside.

I can understand that you thought you were doing a good thing by giving her her freedom but take it from a guy who's made many relationship mistakes, you can't give a woman their freedom, they already have it. She wanted to be with you and you let her down. That changed things. Whether or not you ever get back together, you disappeared when she most needed you.

I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but there's no way to make this up. You two are either going to decide that you have something worth building on regardless of this, or you don't. But either way, keep this lesson close to your heart. Instead of making decisions, thinking you're doing the right thing or doing what's best for her, talk to her about how you feel and how you see her as part of that. You can lose someone very special if you don't.

sweetface2233

Edit: I read the first sentence wrong...sorry.

Again, no offense dude, but YOU broke up w/ HER. What's the problem? She doesn't have to answer to you, anymore. You cut her loose. She could blow the entire horn section of the New York Philharmonic and it shouldn't be your concern.

Abandoned

I broke up with her because she was sad that she wasn't true to her religion and I felt terrible I was keeping her from it.

The way I understood his story, she did those things after he broke up with her.

sweetface2233

Yeah Abandonded, that's why I went back and edited my post. I was hoping to catch it before you, or anyone else, saw it. You must refresh your page like every 3 seconds...LOL.

Nosferatu

Her slutty behavior likely has nothing to do with her religion. Be happy that she did this before you became a JW yourself and married her.

When women feel an intense attraction to a man, they will have sex with him regardless of their own morals and regardless of their relationship status.

However, she could just be bullshitting you because she was desperate to get rid of you.

sweetface2233

Nos - that was a rather generalized statement. Carrying a bit of anger from your past?

Finally-Free

Since you aren't "together" any more she's free to have as much sex as she wants with whom she wants.

That being said, you're 19. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and a lot of changes to go through. In 5 years you'll barely recognize the person you are today. You'll look back and actually be glad things worked out this way. Concentrate on your education, career, and future. There will be no shortage of great women for you to choose from.

Oh yeah, and do yourself a favour. Stay away from the ones in cults like the JWs. You'll save yourself a lot of grief in the long run.

W

really need some help please

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