I'm scared everyday... (page 4)

flipper

FOR MY LOVE - Mr. & Mrs. Flipper send their love to you . We too have family in the cult - and some shun us, some don't . It can be scary not knowing which way some of them will go. But please know you have friends on the board here that support you and will talk as well. Hang in there

freeme

thank you 4mylove... its so good to know that there are people experiencing the same. maybe there are hundreds everywhere on the assemblys and even in the congregations... but noone speaks out. everyone wears a mask.

its terrible. sometimes i even think about going back... just to have unity with my spouse in that matter again. she gets so angry so fast when i try to talk about my feelings. but she isnt a angry person, just mindcontrolled. i rarely speak about it with her. when we both ignore it we're pretty happy.
but i cant go back. ive researched and thought about too many things. it would be a lie to myself for the rest of my life. and even a lie to my possible kids. a lie to everyone i love. i cant do that - it feels too wrong. but she wouldnt follow me. the only chance i have is to wait... that something happens. anything that opens the mind of my wife. i dont know whether this will happen... i hope... i can understand her somehow... i know how it feels to her... but... on the other hand... i dont understand her following men without any need of proof at all anymore... shes incredibly in a loop of thougths... why are these gods chosen channel dispite there wrong doings, lack of love, human laws and wrong teachings over and over? because they say so. if you break it down its her only proof. because they say so and they're gods chosen channel... it would be funny if it wouldnt be so sad.

she says shes 100% sure that jehovah (aka the wts) will always be in #1 in her life. everyone knows how that feels to a spouse whos leaving the wts... everyone knows what may happen.

im scared of the day when the elders come to give my wife a sheperding visit when im not home to strengthen her against me. im really scared of it. whoaaa...

its always nice to speak out on this stuff. its a relief. to know that someone may read it who is in a similar situation. sorry, for hijacking your thread for it ;)

freeme

AK - Jeff

4 -

Remember that all of life is a gamble - isn't it? With or without the cult in your life/past no one knows what tomorrow will bring - do we? So, rather than waste too much of it worrying about something we don't know - the future - try and enjoy today.

My cousin was in 'the pink' to all appearances a month or so back. Then one day he walked to his garage and never came back. His wife did not know it was coming - he didn't know it was coming. I am sure she is glad that they were living in the present daily and not in fear of the future. Enjoy life - be positive about the future, while understanding that we cannot predict nor control it.

A side bonus to that is that it will likely rub off on your husband and he will enjoy being in your presence more than those cultist who spend every waking hour wishing for the death of mankind's majority.

Be the magnet.

Jeff

BFD

4mylove, I really don't have much advice for you. I just want to let you know that I feel your pain. Let it out. Scream, cry, beat up a pillow. I hate this cult.

BFD

still_in74

still_in74:
you're really one clone of me. my wife wants a baby too... i would want too... if this cult wouldnt be. i cant do this while one of us is in. and she literally tells me that she would raise them in the faith.
on the other hand shes scared she may gets old, too old, without kids. and this leads to the fear that she may leave me, since the urge to have a child can be strong.
solution? not yet to be found. i dont wanna leave her.

ditto, especially the "getting too old" part. absolutely ditto....

4mylove

Thank you all so much, I wish there was a way to let you know just how much these responses help me. They encourage me, let me know there is someone else out there with very similar situations. It lets me know that I'm not alone. You guys are all great for my heart.

Many Many thanks!

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Free, I'll be sending you a pm shortly. It's just pretty busy today.

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Eliveleth

still_in74, freeme, 4mylove,

When you allow the WT to determine how you will live your life, they still control you. You should do what you want to do. If you desire to have children, then do so. Do not allow the fact that your spouse is in the WT to determine this. IMHO the WT has nothing to do with our relationship with God. Whether you are a JW or not, I believe that God is in control and your child will not be harmed by being in the WT or out of it. I believe that God reads the heart and all JWs who love Him will be saved. If your spouse has a good heart (of course you cannot read it, but you can see the fruits of who he/she is) then your children will be OK. Do not let the WT lead your life for you. Love yourself, Love God and trust Him.

There are so many people who love you; who will love you unconditionally. Do not fear what the WT can do. They are powerless if you stand up for yourself.

Love and hugs,

Gramma Velta

4mylove

thanks Grams! It's just so scary because I've never professed to being a saint. It just seems that if I have children, the pressure on my hubby would be tremendous to have them "in". I could never allow that. I know that he would be an excellent father, but his family can be so difficult. We are so tremendously happy with eachother, I hate to think that anything would ever change.

This is probably the first time in my life i've even considered having a family. But when you are with someone so special, it just seems to come natural.

Thanks so much for you loving and supportive words, they mean more than you know.

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4mylove

Freeme

You have a PM

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cultswatter

Da cult teaches fear

I'm scared everyday...

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