Does Debating Have to Be Abusive

flipper

My wife and I were having an interesting discussion about some of the debates that take place on the board here . Now, granted most people , I feel upwards of 90 % on the board maybe higher try to be respectful in their debates or discussions on topics. I think we all had enough bashing in the witness organization.

My wife mentioned she has noticed at times that it seems to be fashionable in some few posters to be as mean and rude as possible at times and then try to call it " debating ". But with the verbiage or aggression used ; if looked at more carefully it could border on " abusive ". Now , it's understood we are all different- we are not going to agree many times here on this board. But is there a more palatable way to get our points across - wherein we might convince our listeners of what we are saying ?

What do you folks think causes this in people at times ? Maybe some are dealing with " substance abuse" which might make them more aggressive . Perhaps someone who is normally easygoing may have had a few too many and come unglued occasionally . I understand that too , because life is stressful , some need their liquid courage. Then my wife mentioned : Perhaps it is the radio talk shows or T.V. talk shows in which aggression is used to get points across ! They get better ratings if people are more obnoxious on these shows !

So, what are your thoughts ? Does debating have to be abusive to be effective ? What is your take on this ? Are there ways we can effectively get our points across and still leave the dignity of our fellow posters intact ? What ideas do you have in posting viewpoints without causing an all out battle or being abusive - and yet still being assertive enough to get your points across in a dignified, respectful manner ? As always I look forward to all your thoughts ! Peace out, Mr. & Mrs. Flipper

sisowuzzy

This is just a thought...I've followed discussions on many different boards, and find that rancorous exchanges occur with regularity on nearly all of them, not just those devoted to religious or political differences. I've even seen ladies on a bead-enthusiasts' board take nasty shots at each other!

I wonder if it's because one isn't facing the person upon whom they unleash those harsh words and, thus, feel they can fire away with impunity. It would be very hard to call others unkind names and make other ad hominem remarks if you were sitting across the table from the person. I think it's one thing to feel passionately about one's position and to drive the points home as effectively and convincingly as possible, but quite another to make personal attacks out of them. I think it's one of the reasons it took me so long to post here--I watched some of the heinous wars of words that degenerated into very personal insults. There's plenty of conflict in our world without adding to it here.

Just my two cents.

Sisowuzzy

Abandoned

Actually, I think it's the other way around. If they are abusive they are 100% not effective.

onacruse

I submit that the simplest "guideline" for Internet posting is: Would you be willing to say it to the person's face?

If not, then don't post it.

If so, then consider the probable consequences.

For myself, I've never been inclined to encourage "aggressive" posts (as I interpret such to be). Rather along the lines of "You can lead a horse to water..."

That being said, sometimes such aggressive posts have compelled me to make correspondingly aggressive reposts...and those are the ones that bother me the most.

OUTLAW

Flipper..Some people ask for advise..And..Whine when they get it..Too Bad!!.......Some people start a debate thread..And..Whine when they lose at their own debate..Too Bad!!.....Nobody died..This is an exchange of ideas..Grow up!!..Welcome to the Real World!!................ Clint Eastwood ...OUTLAW

summer

For some posters, being abusive is probably the only feeling of superiority they ever get.

Merry Magdalene

Learn from Ali how to fight without your ego participating. Allah's lion did nothing that didn't originate from his deep center. Once in a battle he got the best of a certain knight and quickly drew his sword. The man, helpless on the ground, spat in Ali's face. Ali dropped his sword, relaxed, and helped the man to his feet. "Why have you spared me? How has lightening contracted back into its cloud? Speak, my prince, so that my soul can begin to stir in me like an embryo." Ali was quiet and then finally answered, "I am Allah's Lion, not the lion of passion. The sun is my lord. I have no longing except for the One. When a wind of personal reaction comes, I do not go along with it. There are many winds full of anger, and lust and greed. They move the rubbish around, but the solid mountain of our true nature stays where it's always been. There is nothing now except the divine qualities. Come through the opening in me. Your impudence was better than any reverence, because in this moment I am you and you are me. I give you this opened heart as Allah (the one God) gives gifts: the poison of your spit has become the honey of friendship." ~Rumi

coffee_black

Emotions can run high when expressing strong opinions. I think that it is far more effective and constructive when those opinions are expressed with respect to everyone who is either responding or just reading the threads. I think that once the name calling starts, everyone starts paying more attention to the verbal blows than the points being made. Name calling doesn't prove anything....it just makes the person doing the name calling look bad. Some threads have reminded me of boxing matches with fans on either side egging them on.

I think we all need to remember that there are lurkers and newbies here who read these posts. Coming here can be scary for a jw or newly xjw... because of what the watchtower says about all who leave the organization. I don't want to do anything to scare them away.

Coffee ..

SacrificialLoon

Similar to what Abandoned said, when discussing a difference of opinion I try to avoid making personal attacks. Attack the idea, not the person.

Carmel

"When two people argue about religion, both are wrong." Abdul' Baha

Does Debating Have to Be Abusive - To Be Effective ?