Husband talking about having kids, reading awake to me, keeps asking ???

by cognac 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  edmond dantes

  Do not let your children go anywhere near the Kingdumb Hall.If you want to teach them Christianity take them to a main stream church for a balanced religious education.

  I would say that taking them near a Witless meeting place is like letting them play near a motorway, very dangerous. It would be a good idea to suggest to your husband that before you have children together that both of you go to one or two of the main stream churches to see how they compare with the Jdubs.Go together for some other religious instruction you can tell him that it can always be rejected if it's not what you want.If he is afraid to take that route ask him is his faith so weak that it won't stand up to comparison first hand.

  Think of all the GENERATIONS of children that have been born to the J Witnesses, who are now old, that have spent their lives in futile persute of a make believe promise.Think of all those wasted lives that could have been spent doing something really worthwhile.
• 

  VoidEater

  I am worried about kids being raised in the straight-jacket of any single religion. That includes JW. I think the JW doctrines of isolation (social and intellectual), superiority and thought control/brain washing/"education" are particularly abhorrent.

  I'm glad you're not contemplating kids in the immediate future. That gives you time to think, him time to think. I would strongly suggest a written agreement that spells out some freedom and education that you want for your kids, something like they will be exposed to many religious services (or none at all), and will not be forced to attend any aprticular religious services (e.g., JW) against their own or either parent's wishes.

  It's not my decision to make, and I don't like to come across as strident, but if it were me: I wouldn't want my kids exposed to the slavery (mental. physical and emotional) of the JW.
• 

  GoddessRachel

  I'm already setting things up to switch halls. Hopefully, we can at least get away with attending less meetings, cause it was always me for about 6 months of our marriage pushing it anyways... If I hadn't pushed, he would have probably been going to about 1/3 by now...

  This comment struck me because what it seems like to me is that you used to be the "strong one" in "the truth" so your husband recognized that and didn't have to be; he knew you would push and keep the two of you going to meetings, etc. But now that he sees you wavering, he might feel the need to be the "strong one" and encourage you. You might see glimpses that tell you he will let this all go, but he seems to be in it. I would be very careful about what you say to him because his "guilty conscience" could push him at any moment to turn on you by telling on you. He might think he is saving you by doing this.

  I'm not passing judgment on your husband. This is just my reaction to the above statement based on my own experiences.

  My sister never studied a day in her life but she has such a weird attachment to the Witnesses, it just runs deeper than I can ever comprehend. I am not saying lose hope in your husband, just please don't add children into this mix right now. Take it day by day as others have said.

  Peace,

  Rachel
• 

  GoddessRachel

  Parakeet says: If you have a single shred of compassion in you, do not, I repeat, do not even entertain the idea of having children and raising them as JWs. As nearly everyone on this site can tell you, putting a child through a JW upbringing is torture for the child and will scar him/her for life. I was a JW kid. I know what I'm talking about.

  Yes, Cognac, you were raised a JW, weren't you? We are social misfits at best, at worst, I don't know how to even describe us. PLEASE don't continue this trend. You might never forgive yourself.

  Sincerely,

  Rachel

  P.S. I have a strong desire for children but financially and emotionally am unable to have them right now, so I KNOW how much it hurts if you want to have kids. But please think of your children before yourself. I know I have no right to offer this. I just feel so strongly about it.
• 

  JWdaughter

  move away from the area, try to fade and influence your husband in whatever ways to do the same. Then re-evaluate how you feel about it all-and talk to him about how he would feel about it. Don't discount the influence of JW family. Really consider this road. Its a tough one, but if your husband has slacker tendencies toward the org., you might want to see what letting nature taking its course (no pushing by you) will do for him. if it is his real faith, then you have another issue to deal with-hey, if it is your real faith you do also.
  
  You might want to make sure to have some written understandings about kids before you have them, in any case. Just my legalistic brain working. People often forget what they say-and on the blood issue and perhaps some others, you want to have it in writing if you choose to have children with a 'devout' JW.
• 

  Vinny

  I must say the replies given on this thread are really good. There is a lot of experience and common sense offered to you Cognac. And fortunately, you sound very receptive to considering what's been said.
  
  And to think that current JW's think ex JW's are like devil worshippers, rotten to the core.
  
  Just amazing how judgmental it all is.
  
  Good luck Cognac.
  
  (can say that now)....