by Seeker4 38 Replies latest jw friends
Wow, what a great story to share! It sounds to me that even though they may be lifelong dubs, at least there is some part of their minds that hasn't been completely washed over.
I hope her and her husband can find the strength to leave; they're partly there, as long as they don't try to condemn themselves for breaking the shunning.
Good on her.
worldtraveller, if you follow the link you'll see this is borg policy.
http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm
The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home. It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum, in line with the divine principle: "Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person [or guilty of another gross sin], . . . not even eating with such a man."
— 1 Corinthians 5:11 .
So the direction at 2 John 11 could well mean not to say even "hello" to such ones.—See The Watchtower of July 15, 1985, page 31.
http://www.jw-media.org/vnr/2122827332/311131.htm world traveller .....their own official pr site.
Disfellowshipping is a procedure which is laid down in the Bible . . . A young woman who was disfellowshipped and later reinstated said: "I am happy that Jehovah loves his people enough to see that his organization is kept clean. What may seem harsh to outsiders is both necessary and really a loving thing to do. I am grateful that our heavenly Father is a loving and forgiving God."
Robert Pevy, Jehovah's Witnesses Writing Staff;
TRT: 2:20
http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm
Those who become inactive in the congregation, perhaps even drifting away from association with fellow believers, are not shunned. In fact, special effort is made to reach out to them and rekindle their spiritual interest. If, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkenness, stealing or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers. Every effort is made to help wrongdoers. But if they are unrepentant, the congregation needs to be protected from their influence. The Bible clearly states: 'Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.' (1 Corinthians 5:13) Those who formally say they do not want to be part of the organization any more are also avoided. What of a man who is disfellowshipped but whose wife and children are still Jehovah's Witnesses? The spiritual ties he had with his family change, but blood ties remain. The marriage relationship and normal family affections and dealings can continue. As for disfellowshipped relatives not living in the same household, Jehovah's Witnesses apply the Bible's counsel: "Quit mixing with them." (1 Corinthians 5:11) Disfellowshipped individuals may continue to attend religious services and, if they wish, they may receive spiritual counsel from the elders with a view to their being restored. They are always welcome to return to the faith if they reject the improper course of conduct for which they were disfellowshipped.
(what they don't say is that if you return you are shunned until such time they decide you have 'repented' so although you are 'welcome' back at the meetings you generally sit at the back of the hall in designated seats for however many months or years it takes, and are not spoken to by the members of the congregation until your 'reinstatement')
It was nice that she apologised. I can remember battling this mindset when I was a JW. I knew that shunning was ridiculously cruel and unchristian yet I was being taught to do it & felt the pressure to conform. Mind you, I never had to shun anyone as close to me as your JW friend was to you. The whole thing is just stupid and causes so much hurt to people.
Thanks for sharing that experience, Seeker. Human decency wins out over doctrine.
Dave
What a good experience, S4.
Here's a thought, however, that may change a bit of our perspective and only you can see whether it bears any merit. You saw and experienced the entire incident.
You mentioned that you and your exwife share a son, a nonJW who happened to be in the house at the time of this event. Let's call him S4son. Keep in mind also that they do not want to do or say anything that could stumble this potential convert, S4son.
Can you suppose that when the couple returned to their car that they talked about this very thing?
Tina: "I'm afraid S4son really won't understand what went on in there. After all, that is his very own father we just shunned. What we did probably looks extremely cruel to him. He can't possibly understand our reasoning. Further, if he gets to thinking about this episode much he may never let us talk to him again. I'm going back in to demonstrate a little compassion to S4 and hopefully S4son will see that we truly are human. I think Jehovah will forgive me for that."
Len
There are people like Seeker who have "left the Truth" and were sorely missed. When I told the CO that I couldn't continue in my elder responsibilities, he tried very hard to convince me to stay on and take no workload, just continue to be an elder until things improved for me. (Of course, I did not want anything to do with this since this was part of my plan to slowly get out). The CO actually cried at the BOE meeting because he realized I was not going to change my mind.
Just recently, a dear friend's JW sister died. My mom told me they had just mentioned it in prayer---not even in an announcement! I called that night to extend my heartfelt condolences. She was most appreciative. Later on in the week, she got 2 elders and told them NO ONE in the Hall called her to see how she was faring, only 'Minimus' did! (I hope that doesn't put me back on the radar, but oh well).
I believe many many quality people have left and the "flock" is hurting because of it.
Fatfreak: I'm positive that my son being there had nothing to do with Tina's decision. It was from her heart.
Min, so your real name is Minimus!!?? So cool! Such thoughtful parents. Were they doing drugs?
On a serious note,I know what you mean. I think that sometimes we who have left may be thought about way more than many of us ever suspect. Some of it good, some of it bad.
S4
