But I just associate him with being apart of murderers.... And I can't accept that... Its so difficult, and the white and black thing you speak about is so right... I just don't know how to get out of thinking that I am having kids with somebody that supports murdering people... Even if he doesn't realize he's doing it, he is, in fact doing it. And I want no part of it, and I don't want my kids any part of it and I don't want to be married to somebody that is any part of it... Please, show me how to adjust my viewpoint so that I can have kids....I will ask him the other questions you have said when we are on speaking terms...
Well, see, there is the black and white thinking again! JW's teach that either you are 100% for us or 100% against us. There are no shades of grey. He tells you that if you do not believe what JW's believe then you are in the power of Satan. You say to him if you believe in what JW's believe then you support murder! Saying it doesn't make it so. If someone is a Catholic today does that mean they support the torture of the Spanish inquisition? Well, maybe it does according to the WTBTS. See how this works?
Your husband is not murdering anyone. He has been taught that God is to judge and execute 6 billion people SOON! In JW's mind that is similiar to the death penalty and capital punishment. Since you don't believe even that is going to happen anymore, all he is really supporting is a fictional story. So at best he is supporting a fictional murder. Since he has no control over what God does, what could he do about it even he disagreed?
You are actually still being just as judgemental and controlling as JW's because you are saying to him, EITHER you change your beliefs and believe what I now believe right now OR I can't be married to you or have kids with you! So you are giving him an ultimatum to believe or else. Black or White. Either/Or. Choose! How is that any different than what he is saying to you? Or what JW's say to everyone else? JW's say that you cannot be married to an unbeliever and have a successful marriage. Are they right? Do married couples have to agree on everything" How do you handle it when you disagree on other issues that have nothing to do with religion? Do you fight it out to the point of divorce? Or do you compromise or agree to disagree, or just each do your own thing? It doesn't have to be ALL or NOTHING just because JW's say it does! Have you ever seen JW's where one converted after they were married and they have stayed married and seemed happy? I have seen two couples like that in my last congo. It worked because the couples gave each other the freedom and respect to believe what they wanted to believe and to practice their religion the way they saw fit.
If you want to be free to believe what you want without harrassment from him or JW's can you set the example and show him how it's done by allowing him to believe what he wants without constantly arguing and trying to prove you are right and he is wrong. If he gets out the Bible and tries to prove you wrong, could you just say, "Oh I see you still strongly believe that to be true. I no longer do." Could you just leave it at that without trying to prove anything? You will never win trying to disprove JW's logic because their belief is not based on logic to begin with. It is based on emotion. It is based on fear and persecution. So when you get all dramatic and emotional and he feels afraid and like you are persecuting him, then you are just playing in to and reinforcing that fear and the belief that goes along with it.
I know for myself when I calmed down and stopped arguing with my husband and stopped being angry, he saw that all the sterotypes he believes about apostates are not true at all. I am always calm and rational now in the face of every silly JW teaching. I don't have to prove a thing. He doesn't even try to prove anything to me because he knows he can't. So why keep fighting?
Cog