Asked a deep question to my father last night (page 2)

MOG

Alex - My dad shunned me for nearly 15 years..I never was disfellowshipped, in fact, I was a pretty decent guy just not HIM..i let him down in his eyes and he rode me out for about a year when I told them I did not take the ministerial servant duty..he took it so hard and i took verbal abuse by both parents that I left home before i was 18yo, I tried to reach them, but they werent having it..It went so far as to call me and say THEY DISOWN you, mind you, i was not a drug user, didnt really swear (I had personal moments), did okay in school..in the brothers eyey i was a decent brother..It just never for me, i did not once feel true spirituality as much as i prayed..nevertheless, I knew the road I was taking...Let me fast forward to a year ago. My brother, recently disassociated himself, he lost it completely, went from being an elder to being something I wasnt myself even today..It was with my younger brother (i got a few years on him) that my dad found that what he did to me he could not with the second son. My dad until this day has never apologize to me but we are in talking terms..See my dad was one of the Elders who lives by the book - there is no forgiving for sins or those who leave - even if its family - now he see the fruits of these ways of thinking, not all JW are like this with their families, but both your (me and you Ales) are similar...My dad told me "I wish I would have done things differently with you" - i knew this was hard for my dad to say (close enough to an apology)..and you know what - I LOVE MY DAD and I see it as a stepping stone. We no longer get into religious discussions and he never preaches to my brother. Even till this day, my sister who is a JW, has folks come to her asking about me, and they knew how my father was and they always said my dad was too rough..I am okay now..it hurt for years..it didnt just effect me but also my wife and my kids..but I prayed and my wife even sent a letter to my dad about ME, the 15-20 years he missed..the time he missed with his 1st two grandchildren..when he received it, it humbled him and he called my wife and they had their moment over the phone.. alex - your not alone..I am YOU - and there is hope..I'll pray on this for you but more so for you dad..

MMae

I say Vikki If they call again just tell them I died and hopefully they’d want to see me at my funeral, and she did.

I'm sorry - but that just cracked me up! LOL

On a more serious (and appropriate) note, please let us know how it goes when you do speak to your folks again.

JWdaughter

Deep, sad, slightly funny, but you went too far IMO. I hope you call them back-my JW mom always used to tell me that two wrongs don't make a right. After the initial part of making them sweat(which they might well deserve after 10 years and that response), I think your victory will be hollow. And it will give them a great persecution story if you don't resolve it. They are probably as devastated as you by the shunning, though they instigated it. You could be the bigger person (ex JWs seem to do that a lot!)give 'em a call and tell them you are alive and happy except to know that they will not even forgive you after death.

I would not let them stew long-I have just reheated some frozen stew, and it gets all mushy and disintegates into yukky looking mash when cooked too long. Eww. You are lucky you still have them alive and there may still be a chance of getting them to act like real human parents.(I might be optimistic, but after losing my dad, I would never take a parent for granted again!)

I wish you well. That was a rotten response to give you and sadder than they can recognize in their little cult clouded brains!

sacolton

I'd wonder if they would start reading him "Scriptures" as to why they wouldn't attend his funeral to reason with him. I can't imagine
losing ten years of a loving relationship with my parents.

I remember having dinner with my wife's family (all JWs) and I mentioned to my wife that my parents (not JWs) were planning a
dinner for us the next weekend. My mom loves to make tacos every other weekend. Just then my brother-in-law tells me that
we should limit our visits with my parents because they are "worldly". I almost caused a scene when he said that. There was
NO WAY I was going to shun or "limit" my time with my parents. He then tried to reason with me and make me understand
why he said it, but when he saw how angry I was becoming with every bullshit word, he backs off.

Damn cults.

Tired of the Hypocrisy

Sounds cruel to say that you died. I know I would never want to hear that about one of my kids. But, with the shunning and organized cruelty you are being hit with, I can understand your feelings. What ever happened?

Locutus of Borg

Dude, how can you do that to your Mom??

Jesus Wept.

lesterd

What unforgiveable sin did you commit to separate yourself from them, the borg? Many of us got out because of the lack of empathy and forgiveness, which should have made us better than they, and willing to forgive them for their lack. Your real question was; would you be willing to compromise that self rightious belief for the real family love Jehovah gave, that no man can take away.

buffalosrfree

Alex Delta, there is no way I would call them back, if they are really interested they can get off of their backside and drive down, or travel to whereever you are and find out for themselves, if you haven't talked with them in x amount of years and he can't answer a simple question then the hell with em. Let them stew.

cognac

but in the same token when else would I have a chance for them to hopefully wake up by scaring them.

Good point...

So what's the end of the story??? What happened??? Did you call them back?

2112

Some times we just know something is wrong to it's core and we try so many ways to express it and we over anolize it and make too much of things. Then something is said so simply that we just sit back and say.... Wow! It's that simple.

Cognac said "All sins are forgiven when we die". We all know this, but in all the threads/discussions about dfing and shunning, I never caught this simple truth before. A JW will shun even a family member for an entier life time and the moment the person dies their sins are forgiven, so the shunning was for naught. If they treated that person as a person how much more both their lives could have been enriched.

Take it a step further, if someone is df'ef and their JW family member shunns them, they that person dies (Sins forgiven) Don't the JW still refer to that person in a negative light? So if God forgives the sins they by what reight can the JW still hold that person accountable? I know they don't need a reason but I'm just thinking.

Thanks Cognac,

Asked a deep question to my father last night

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