Welcome!
I opologize in advance for this long post. I thought maybe my experience could help you in some way.
I was in the same exact situation 4 years ago only it was my husband that wanted to stay and I who wrote my DA letter. I explained to my husband that this was not an easy decision to make and that I had prayed about it for a long time (daily for months) and that I believed with my whole heart, mind and soul that it was the right decision.
I pointed out to him that IF I had really researched the society's origin and teachings I would never have decided to get baptised in the first place. I told him while I do still believe in God, Christ and the Bible, I no longer believed that the WT was God's only channel for salvation. I believed Christ was the only way for me. And that I felt I had to choose between Christ and the WT and I was choosing Christ.
I also told him I loved him and would support him if he decides to follow his conscience and remain a witness. I just wanted to same respect extended to me. I told him not to worry about my salvation or the children (who also wanted out) because I left the matter in Jehovah's hands and was fully confident that he would read my heart, know I love him and understand I am only leaving the WT to follow his Son. I felt that this was o.k. with Jehovah because I was not commiting any sins and my conscience was clear.
Lastly, I told him since I no longer beleive the WT teachings nor that they are the only true religion, I had to leave because to stay and just "go along" would make me a hypocrite both in my eyes and God's. I hoped he would understand my decision. I again told him I loved him and wanted to remain married to him if he agreed to it.
At first, he was very upset. He accused me of reading apostate literature and listening to the voices of demons. He yelled at me and told me I ruined the family and he also stormed upstairs and began packing his clothes to leave the family. At that time, my hubby was the only financial support for me and the kids.
I just remained calm, sat in the kitchen downstairs and prayed. All the while the kids were crying and screaming for me to stop daddy from leaving. (they were 7 and 9 at the time). I stood my ground and told him that if that was his decision, then he would have to live with it.
He left the home with his bags and I assumed would not be back anytime soon. But, he came back a few hours later and went to bed without saying a word. I didn't say anything to him more about the matter. I did not try to convince him to leave or say anything about the WT's false predictions, teachings etc. I just left him alone. A few months later he mentioned that he missed having me and the kids at the meetings and he finally came around and asked me WHY I left. I told him I would show him biblically if he was interested. He said thats fine but wanted to have to opportunity to prove me wrong if possible. I told him I would let him try. Needless to say within a month of us "studying" the NT together and me showing him scriptures in their proper context, he decided that he could also no longer support the WT and handed in his letter.
Now, things do not always work out this well and I do not know your personal circumstances. But for the most part, my marriage was pretty good up until that point. I don't know if you are still a Christian? But the best thing I did was pray a lot to stay calm about the situation and show my hubby I would love him no matter what. I wanted him to Know that I was the same person and was not going to become some wicked she-devil by leaving the WT. I think sometimes our spouses may fear crazy things like that.
I also went out of my way to do extra nice things for him like having supper done early so he would be able to relax before the meeting. I was very non-threatening and just left him alone with his thoughts. I tried to remain as christ-like as I could and like the bible says win him over without a word.
It did work in my situation but everyone's life is different. But I would say to stay calm, be loving, and as non threatening as you can be. Remember Apostates are very scary for JW's. Hope all works out. Please feel free to pm me if I can help in any way at all. Peace, Lilly
