It seems now 'mother' wants it in writing when a brother steps down, from being an elder. They will consider the reason and than 'rule' if he can go or not.
It is official. I am an elder now!
by outofthebox 99 Replies latest jw friends
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R.Crusoe
My feeling was similar - announcing it here would need delay to distract and I'm sure anyone wanting to do what you suggest already considered this!
The problem I see is how to lead like an elder a set of activities one feels are utterly false and also how to speak WT jargon to deceived souls sincerely seeking something whilsy yourself viewing them as deluded and misled.
The more you adjust talks or whateva to contradict WT dogma, the more you will confuse those sincerely attempting to understand it all and send them away with a headache. It is tantamount to 'well intended deception' which sometimes if not often is counter productive!
Like the wife who is expecting someone elses child and because she loves you or your parenting skills lets you bring it up thinking it is yours - but the relationship cannot fail to keep tripping over situations of poor 'bonding' due to the infusion of deception around which emotions and good intentions are being built. The foundation is a flawed one and usually causes something to fall one would rather not have caused.
And finally if you discover th reason for the plethora of doubting feeling you were sensitised to, how do you ever remedy the pure effort and attempts at honest love you tried and failed to establish around something you now realise never existed?
It is a strange place you choose and frought with problems you may never know you helped create! IMHO - though you must do as you feel and I understand situations of this nature are less than easy when family are enmeshed in the whole saga!
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Mickey mouse
If you gave the exact day of your appoitment you might be tracked down within a short period.
Quite. He's blown his cover before he's begun. Make the most of it pal, it won't be for long. The society monitors this site. How many elders do you think were appointed the same week as you? All they have to do is match that with a few specifics you may have given in past posts and you are I.D'ed.
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Quirky1
What kind of package did you negotiate?
* Salary
* Medical/Dental
* 401K
* Vacation
* Bonuses
* Vehicle or Mileage reimbursement
Quirky1
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lawrence
You'd be perfect for the Special Needs talk on "Apostate web sites." Check in over time, and let us know if your drinking consumption increases.
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momzcrazy
Well, I don't envy your position. It will also be a strain on your family life, speaking as an elder's daughter. If you have kids your wife will be shouldering more responsibilty with them, even though as an MS's wife she already had some of that. You won't be around as much in the home, and there will be even more pressure to appear as good example.
So, you have a hard row to hoe. And having serious doubts about the religion will make it even more rocky. So I wish you luck, you'll need it.
momz
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bearish
one of the best things that happened to me was to become an elder, but before you prepare scathing remarks let me tell you why. As a publisher sitting there for years I could only imagine what went on in the 'little room' at the back of the hall, I always imagined this group of sincere men peering into the bible to find the nuggets of wisdom to make sound decisions, nothing could be farther from the truth, what goes on in there is appalling, the bible is cast aside and all you hear is personal experiences and human thinking, all the peering is into the 'flock' book to determine the very human societies policies. Becoming an elder was the best thing that happened to me for It really opened my eyes to an organization ruled by men not any supernatural entity and it played a big part in getting me out of the cult.
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babygirl75
I haven't read all the post but I just don't understand what your intentions are accepting becoming an elder? I just think that is is wrong for you to accept being an elder and all the while having your doubts and posting an an apostate website!! I don't exactly know how to put in words how strongly I am against your decision, I just think it is wrong on your part!
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Doubting Bro
OOTB,
Well, at least you have some insight as to what you're getting yourself into. I had doubts for a few years but once I allowed myself to think and come to realization that what I had was not "truth", I simply couldn't continue being on the platform every week, conducting a book study, etc. I lasted about a year & a half, before I just couldn't take it anymore and "stepped aside".
You can duck & weave on the JCs but sometimes you have to sit on one. The last one I sat on the person was just reproved, but it took some convincing to make it happen. I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was part of someone being df'ed (with the exception of a child molestor, then being df'ed would be the least of his concerns because I'd haul him into the cops).
My advice to you would be to: 1) avoid JCs - you may think you can be a force for good and in some cases you may be, but you can't win them all. And, on the ones you'll lose, you'll have to live with the guilt., 2) Don't let the other elders dump a bunch of work that they don't want to do on you. As a newbie, they'll give you all the jobs they don't want. I'll bet they put you up for 2nd school conductor at the next weeking if they haven't already!, 3) Stay disengaged in the elder meetings. Again, you may win sometimes, but likely you'll lose more than you win. If you pick your battles, you may end up doing a little good. At least, you won't be as frustrated.
As for the rightness or wrongness of your decision, I really can't judge. I don't think its a big deal because I know that elders are no different than anyone else. No extra holy spirit, no special insight. Many are not even very spiritually minded (other than doing WT works). Many are in it for the perceived power. I think those folks are far worse than someone like you.
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TweetieBird
I haven't read all of the other posts so forgive me if I repeat something.
Hopefully, this will give you the opportunity to enlighten your family since now you will be coming to them as a person of authority. On Randy's site, there was an experience by brother that got his family out. It all started with the family study and asking them to do research. It took him a while but if I remember right, his whole (immediate) family finally saw through the WT bs and are now out.
Please keep us posted. I hope you are keeping a journal.