Dowse yourself in cheap perfume.
Get a good pair of closed-toe leather shoes, walk around outside in them, sans socks, in the hot sun for 8 hours, then wear them to the meeting, and take them off.
Wear nice leather sandals or clogs with white socks with your dark suit.
Wear a Panama hat and don't take it off during the meeting. Answer meeting questions in a Southern accent. Yayusah!
Wear a purple shirt, and a gold tie, with a tie-tack of a Masonic symbol and say you got it at Goodwill.
Dress vintage, circa 1970, wear a toupee, and keep reminding everyone yer a "Fun guy!"
Walk around with your zipper slightly undone, white shirt draping out.
Walk around in the hot sun for 8 hours, sans deodorant, then go to Sunday meeting.
Bring a large straw bag and constantly pick it up during the meeting, place it on your lap, and dig through it for 10 minutes, at intervals of 5 minutes. Make sure there's lots of empty candy wrappers, and metal trinkets in it.
Sit in the aisle seat, cross your legs, letting your shoe hang off the tip of your foot. Stick your leg WAAAAAY out into the aisle and flip your shoe up and down off your toe, making a large "smack" as your shoe hits your foot on the rebound.
Smack your gum.
Low cut dresses, spaghetti straps, thongs (worn with a clingy skirt), and slits up the sides of skirts are always nice touches.
Lucite 5" high-heels.
Frequent trips to the powder room because of bladder control problems (make sure you're sitting in the front for this one!).
Lots of tinkly jewelry.
Different colored wigs every Sunday.
cg