Is this really a J-Dub rule???

superman

Hey guys, I’m inactive (as far as meetings go) in my local town. However, I have friends outside of my local territory that I hang with. Anyway, about three weeks ago I went to hang out with this large group of witnesses and there was this girl that I meet who asked for my number. I didn’t really think it was that big of a deal, so I gave it to her. She’s been texting and calling me quite a bit since that time (didn’t really think all that much about it). It wasn’t that big a deal up until a few days ago when she asked me if I was interested in her. I told her that I honestly wasn’t (bad thing to say), she went on about I how I should have known what her intentions were, and that according to the society that if you talk with someone of the opposite sex on a daily basis that you are technically dating them. Is that actually true about the societies definition of dating???? Long story short, I talked with one of my friends from that area (who knows this girl) and he said that she was going to most likely get the elders involved, because she felt that I lead her on. Seeing how I’m a “closeted” apostate, I could never bring myself to even think about dating or marrying a hard-core J-dub (let alone a pioneer); I just don’t want any trouble with the elders. But my question is this; is that actually a rule if you talk with someone you’re considered dating them? I need your help, just in case they start hassling me!

Not Feeling It

Rules in many congregations are what the local body of elders want to make of them. You might end up in Stalag KH, you might end up in Pleasant Hills Service and Meeting Club. It's pretty hit-or-miss. My own informal studies indicate that the majority lean toward mini authoritarian regimes. That just sounds like one of many cases with some CO made an observation on how he thought things should be and the locals just ran with it.

I'd turn the situation around on her or them if you are harrassed. Tell 'em she kept bugging you and you were just trying to be nice.

oompa

This is weird, I posted on this same thread hours ago along with many others and the replys are all gone??????......oompa

yknot

Well as I posted on your other thread....

I agree with Not Feelin It.... ... all Elderships are different.....but according to my BS conductor....NOPE, unless you have been texting inappropriately back.

As I posted on the earlier thread....Just keep your cool and say you were being polite, and throw a little male sexism in the mix. If they insist this was inappropriate keep to the dip-sh!t don't know sh!t act.

Really what type of good standing JW Brother wants such a forward, progressive and independent Sister .....I mean what's next is she gonna be proposing?

sacolton

If an elder starts giving you crap ... just say, "So, if I call your wife everyday does that mean I'm dating her too?"

AWAKE&WATCHING

I love this place - if the JW's showed as much love and support as we have here on JWD none of us would be here. Great answers guys.

Tired of the Hypocrisy

This is OUTRAGEOUS!! However, to many I have known in j-dub-land it is a code of ethics. In the real world it is just bs. I would stop calling her if that is her intention (To Trap you into marrying her). And if she gives you any crap herself or thru the body of elders I would just tell them to go F*** off!

Hope4Others

according to the society that if you talk with someone of the opposite sex on a daily basis that you are technically dating them. Is that actually true about the societies definition of dating???? Long story short, I talked with one of my friends from that area (who knows this girl) and he said that she was going to most likely get the elders involved, because she felt that I lead her on.

That is the old school definition, today I would call it a "Stalking you definition" Tell the elders that you were only exchanging pleasantries.

hope4others

flipper

I always thought when I was a witness they said if you go somewhere physically with a female it was dating. Like go to coffee, go to a restaurant and eat , etc. I've never heard that talking on the phone regularly with someone of the opposite sex is considered dating , at least I never heard that when I was a witness ! I think the young lady is blackmailing you to like her by spouting off " fictitious " rules by the organization - and then entrap you in some precarious way ! Like TIRED of the HYPOCRISY said, " I'd stop calling her. " No matter what her unknown motive is - I think she wants to control you, and is up to no good ! Be careful

mind my own

In my experience yes, if you are talking to a member of the opposite sex on the phone (who is single as well) then it may be construed as dating...I heard that several times. Mind you, the elders in my hall were really anal so I'm not sure if that is unusual or not.

Sounds like this "sister" has nothing better to do than get the elders involved...doesn't she have some doors to knock on or something?

MMO

Is this really a J-Dub rule???

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