Why do I feel like I'm losing my wife to this website?

by sarabi 104 Replies latest jw friends

  • reniaa
    reniaa

    Hi I know how you feel, If you look at my history I went on this site after talking to my sister a regular member about my feelings of wanting to go back to JW's, unfortunately I found this site a disturbing mixed bag, some good people but a lot of mixed messages and subjective information stated as facts amidst relevant info.

    I personally found on visiting this site you really have to step back and try and understand what you are getting on here and there are many different people :- "the Jw's with doubts and questions" people, the "never been Jw but had a family member as one and now hate them" members, the "brought up as JW but found the restrictions to harsh and want freedom to do what they want now" young people, the "Used to be long standing JW but got disfellowshiped or DA'd now deeply bitter and hating JW" group, "even some never been witness but just enjoy posting info on here" people and many more, thats only a few and the majority express bitter dislike of the watchtower and so are predjudiced from these viewpoints.

    I'm not saying the information isn't correct especially on watchtower history but you have to take it in context with all christian religions applying it from isrealites onwards. You really have to know where your coming from on this site that is basically anti-witness and if you want your doubts reinforced you will get that on here! the "seek and yea shall find" scripture is aptly applied in this case, I certainly wouldn't say this is a site you will get both sides of the story, In a kingdom hall you will get pro-witness info obviously! on this site you get anti-witness info and so if you want unbiased information you won't get it but you will get lots of information to try and sift through as I did.

    I wanted to explore the Jw religion as a positive in comparison to other religions but found I got side tracked with all the anti-witness people, I wanted to discuss biblical scriptures like "no fornication" etc with a view to being a modern day christian? are we progressed in christianity these days that we can now as christians do all the things the bible forbids with impunity? like fornication, adultery, gambling, getting drunk. but not sure how that will be recieved, especially as one of the main things held against the JW's is their strictness which in many cases has scriptural back-up, so in condemning the strictness in witnesses are we also condemning the bible?

    Also take apostasy if you come on this site you may end up leaving JW's in most cases (although you can argue that some coming on here are already looking for a reason to leave and want justification) but genuine doubters can be influenced by what they find on here into leaving JW's so in that sense the JW's are right, in that leaving JW's is where you will end up by coming onto anti-witness sites like this one and I can see this is what you are worried about in Cognac's case and probably rightly so.

    But will your marriage suffer as a result? from what I've read on here this can happen, although a strong loving relationship can survive this. It sounds like you have a good relationship and love each other and that is what counts.

  • real one
    real one

    Reniaa says:

    I wanted to explore the Jw religion as a positive in comparison to other religions but found I got side tracked with all the anti-witness people, I wanted to discuss biblical scriptures like "no fornication" etc with a view to being a modern day christian? are we progressed in christianity these days that we can now as christians do all the things the bible forbids with impunity? like fornication, adultery, gambling, getting drunk. but not sure how that will be recieved, especially as one of the main things held against the JW's is their strictness which in many cases has scriptural back-up, so in condemning the strictness in witnesses are we also condemning the bible?

    I would like to inform you that I am a christian who attends a non-denominational church and these things you speak of that are highlighted in the paragraph are also considered sins that you will be punished for committing in my Bible also! your Bible the nwt and my Bible the kjv or niv or ccv, or any others that have not been changed to deny the deity of Christ Jesus agree with these things. I dont believe that the people here (Christians anyway think we can do what we want to do that God does not approve of.

    Your view of this site is very narrow. This site has the capability of allowing the true seeker of truth to see the truth if they are truly looking for it. So take off your blinders! You call the jw strict, I call them Pharassies!

  • flipper
    flipper

    SARABI- Considering I was the person you talked with for an hour and a half, and we did have an encouraging, enlightening conversation a week ago on Monday - how are you and your wife doing ? As you can see from the majority of responses here, it is clear to see that our JWD folks here are pulling for you and Cognac to hang in there and communicate in a positive way with each other to have a happy ending. We truly do all have you and her best interests at heart. PM me if you'd like, either you or Cognac, or give me a call on the phone- perhaps we can talk again ! Don't be a stranger. Take care friend, Peace and Love , Mr. Flipper

  • AGuest
    AGuest

    May you have peace... you and your entire household!

    I don' think anyone here has gotten the sense that you are losing you dear wife. To the contrary, I think HER fear is greater... that because she no longer believes as you do that she might lose YOU. That is usually what happens. You are to be commended, therefore, for even condescending to find out what she's doing here, going through, and with whom. At least you bothered; many JW spouses would/do not.

    You made a VERY interesting statement that I would like to respond to, if I may:

    I feel that this is the main reason my wife comes here, so that she can express herself without feeling judged.

    As her spouse, her "other half"... the man who is "one" with her flesh... what you think of that? Why does she NEED to come here... so that she can express herself without feeling judged? Is it because she DOES feel judged somewhere else? You then state:

    I feel the elders are not here to judge us, but are here to help us.

    Please forgive me, but I am not sure that what YOU feel... should be the issue. At least, your inquiry indicates that you are concerned about her. So, shouldn't it be about what SHE feels? It is if you are truly concerned about her... and not just about yourself. I do not mean this harshly; I just mean it as truth.

    You then ask:

    Is the society working off an unclean spirit?

    To that, I would say to you, in all truth, and by means of the Truth, Christ, and the holy spirit he has granted to me, that, yes, the Society is indeed working off an unclean spirit. And I do not say that lightly, for to do so would be blasphemy against the Spirit by which I say it. I have spoken the truth to you... just as I received it FROM the Truth, by means of an anointing with holy spirit.

    That the spirit is unclean... is manifest, in several ways, but PRIMARILY in that they call themselves the "truth." Only ONE... is the Truth, dear Sarabi, something I came to understand when my Lord revealed it to me AFTER I began to partake of his flesh and blood... and AFTER the "anointing" began teaching me. John 14:6
    Other manifestations include the fact that they teach against the VERY thing that Christ, the TRUTH, said would be our means for living forever... for being resurrected. By doing this, they "shut up the kingdom of the heavens before men." John 6:48-56; Matthew 23:13
    They teach TWO hopes... and, as a result, TWO laws... when Christ said there would be ONE flock... and thus, there is to be only one LAW. In doing so, they have "divided" the Christ. Exodus 12:49

    They teach judgment... which is a feature of the OLD Law... rather than forgiveness, mercy, releasing... which is a manifestation of LOVE... THE feature of the NEW Law. Luke 6:37; Matthew 7:1; John 8:11
    They "hate" their "enemies" and as a result, greet only those they consider to be "brothers" [in good standing] ... although CHRIST said that in order to PROVE that we are sons of God we must NOT do this. Matthew 5:43-48
    As a result of these few things... and many, many others, they "seat themselves in the seat of Moses"... teaching that in order to please God, you must come THROUGH them... when CHRIST said, "NO ONE comes to the Father... EXCEPT THROUGH [HIM]." Matthew 23:2; John 10:1-8; John 14:6

    But, those who follow them cannot go through Christ, for they have not been taught that Christ IS the Door... the Narrow Gate... that one CAN go through him... or how. And simply reciting "in the name of Jesus" is NOT the way.

    You also ask,

    If so, then why does anybody here have to worry? Jehovah will correct it and make his congregation clean.

    And someone responded with the Catholic Church. I respond, by means of the holy spirit granted me, what about Judaism? According to what YOU believe, God abandoned THAT religion... what 2,000 years ago? Why, then, has it not been "corrected"? Why was it not corrected back then... rather than rejected? And if the evidence of that rejection (the destruction of the temple) was so... evident... why are there millions still adhering to it?

    Dear one, God has granted Christ to go subduing (calling those who belong to HIM... and teaching us to "bear fruit")... in the MIDST of his enemies! That means the enemies... still stand! They are not done away with yet. And the WTBTS is no different from any other religion: they are merely a false light... designed to "mislead IF possible... even the chosen ones." Because we are children OF the Light... so that very existence is dedicated to finding that Light. John 8:12 Many, however, come... on the basis of his name.

    I want her to understand that she can trust me and that I'll help her to find the answers that she is looking for.

    Can she trust you? What if the TRUTH is that you believe "the answers that SHE is looking for" lie in what YOU believe? If you truly want her trust, then you can do nothing other than to continue to grant HER... the love... and FREEDOM... that you want her to grant YOU. Has she demanded that you LEAVE the WTBTS? Has she indicated that if you don't your marriage might be in jeopardy? Or is that coming from you? Your post did not seem to indicate that she had a problem with you.

    The TRUE "christian," dear Sarabi, does not leave a spouse simply because they do not "believe" as we do... now or later. Nor does the Spirit teach such a thing. That was a teaching under the OLD Law... which the WTBTS still clings to. Unfortunately, as with the Jews, it is not until they SAY "blessed is he that comes in the name of Jah"... and LIVE it... it's the only Law they can teach. For they are bound to it. They have not yet been set FREE... so as to live by the NEW law.

    For even to THIS day, whenever Moses is read, a VEIL... lies upon their HEARTS. But where there's a turning to CHRIST... the veil is removed. For Christ... IS the [Holy] Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:13-18

    Keep on asking and you will find. Keep on knocking and it will be answered to you.

    I would bid you to do the same thing; unfortunately, the WTBTS often leads us to believe that THEY are what we were asking, seeking, looking and knocking for. They are not. It is the TRUTH that we are supposed to be asking for, looking for, seeking... and knocking on. For the TRUTH... is also The DOOR... the Narrow Gate... Christ. And he CAN be found... just as easily as you can be found by him. John 14:6; John 10:7

    The greatest of love and peace to you... and your entire household.

    Your servant, and a slave of Christ, by means of anointing with holy spirit,

    SA

  • Gerard
    Gerard
    I want to protect my wife. I love her.

    Make sure this is not about protecting yourself. Have seen the movie The Village? It will give you an idea of the situation she is facing out here.

    All the best dealing with reality.

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