Sarabi, may I ask were you born into the jw's or did you join later in life?
Why do I feel like I'm losing my wife to this website?
by sarabi 104 Replies latest jw friends
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llbh
Why are you so afraid of your wife being here, she like you came here of her own volition, she has become a valued member here and as such contibutes much and recieves much also.
She is open and honest with you and us, why do you fear this?
We do not seek to control butterflies yet we seek to control our spouse - my JW wife seeks to circumscribe my thoughts within the JW paradigms and this saddens me
Voltaire said " all men are born free and yet are everywhere are in chains" sadly many mates JW and non JW alike seek to do the same. Let her be free and if you have the truth waht do you have to fear?
David
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jwfacts
Welcome, it is nice to have you post, and to hear you are supporting your wife.
It is a very difficult phase for your family at the moment. Most of us here have been through it, so we understand how much strain it puts on a family. JW's are a tight-knit community (as are many other religious groups) and so it is a very difficult decision with harsh consequences if a person starts to have doubts.
I feel like the faithful slave has our best interests whether they are right or wrong. I am disappointed that people who want help don't go to the ones who really care about them. But, instead, go to people who understand there feelings and don't even know them personally. I feel that this is not getting help, rather is reinforcing there own negative feelings. I feel that this is the main reason my wife comes here, so that she can express herself without feeling judged. I feel the elders are not here to judge us, but are here to help us.
You would feel quite different after you have been through a Judicial Committee for having questions. The Watchtower Society is very strict on people that disagree on doctrine, and very quick to disfellowship people that disagree with them. My meeting was the most traumatic moment of my life, and it took me many months to recover emotionally. What is difficult is that the elders did not have any interest in whether I beleived in the Bible, the only question of interest was whether I believed the Governing Body were directed by Jehovah. There was no way I could say yes, knowing the false prophecies and the lies that I had uncovered in Watchtower articles, such as that they had always accurately predicted that Jesus rulership started in 1914. I begged them not to disfellowship me so that my family could still talk to me, promising that I would fade and not speak to any of my friends about my thoughts, but they disfellowshipped me anyway. I even appealed by letter to Bethel. If there are a lot of negative people here it is because of the deep hurt of being shunned by family, because of wanting to think and have opinions. Why this is ironic is that the Watchtower proves much of its doctrines are not correct by the number of ongoing changes.
If a house is divided against itself, it will not stand. If JWs are divided, they cannot stand.
People are saying that the faithful slave are false prophets. If that is true, then based upon Mark 3:22-30 with the illustration that Jesus gave us, then this religion will not be able to stand but is coming to an end. Also, in verse 29, whoever blasphemes against the holy spirit has no forgiveness forever, but is guilty of everlasting sin. This because they were saying he has an unclean spirit. Is the society working off an unclean spirit? If so, then why does anybody here have to worry? Jehovah will correct it and make his congregation clean.
The problem with this reasoning is that it can be equally applied to every other religion. There are many Christian religions that have falsely prophecied and continue to this day. It is not proof that they are backed by Jesus. An example common to JWs are Seventh Day Adventists, who share the same roots as the Watchtower Society, starting with the Miller movement and the prediction that the Jesus started ruling in 1874. They are still in existence with almost identical number of followers as JWs
I do hope you spend time to research into the Watchtower Society. I agree with you that the Governing Body (faithful Slave as you refer to them) are well intentioned. However, you will find that the religion is no different than many other religions and really cannot claim to be the only group worshipping God.
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Free
If you think the Koolaide at the Hall is strong this place is like moonshine. She is addicted and the only way she will stop is when she is ready.This place can bring more guidance and answers the more you dig. I recommend you dig with your wife and start growing together to see what makes this place tick, and its not Satan. Which as Jehovahs Witnesses we were conditioned to believe.
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wings
I feel hurt, I feel like she has been talking behind my back and hiding things
She is possibly just exploring her self. In the Watchtower World, thinking for yourself is not encouraged. There is no one here who would encourage anything against your marriage. We will not, however, inhibit her free thought.
You might just find she is more wonderful than you realized. More growth in her should mean a better partner for you.
Welcome, glad you are here.
wings.
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llbh
I didn't notice you've been around since '06, are you the pot or the kettle tonight?
Hey m momz i noticed that too so you have been looking here way longer than your wife so at least accord the freedom you indulge yourself with
I will also like to say welcome to JWD and i hope youi enjoy your time here too
David
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chickpea
hello sarabi
i can well imagine you are feeling a swirl of emotions about the present circumstance.... i know my reaction to my husband's "confession" during our 20th anniversary dinner that he " didnt believe it to be the truth any longer"..... i have made an angst filled and agonized journey to get to the point where i now can say the same thing...... i believe that i made a mistake in believing the WTS was what it said it was and that it was the sole purveyor of god's truth
in your perusal of the site, i wonder if you are able to see that many people here have had their lives negatively impacted by the practices of the WTS, in particular the active shunning of individuals who simply develop a variant viewpoint to that which the organization espouses, no longer believing there is any validity or spirit-led activity coming from that collective
People are saying that the faithful slave are false prophets.
absolutely that is being said.... and if you take a moment to examine the arguments raised to provide proof and evidence..... then it might not seem such an impossible concept to actually accept and agree with
If that is true, then based upon Mark 3:22-30 with the illustration that Jesus gave us, then this religion will not be able to stand but is coming to an end
another valid point..... and perhaps the very existence of this site is evidence that the organization is on it last legs, a few mere decades, or generations at best from totally disintegrating or become so adapted to the need to sustain itself that it will not even resemble the corporation that russell began.....
. Also, in verse 29, whoever blasphemes against the holy spirit has no forgiveness forever, but is guilty of everlasting sin. This because they were saying he has an unclean spirit. Is the society working off an unclean spirit?
if this is truth, then it is a looming disaster for the suits in brooklyn who become more controlling and pharisaical with each passing season..... railing against education and strong arming members to work dead end jobs in order not to miss meetings, to cite a few examples......
If so, then why does anybody here have to worry? Jehovah will correct it and make his congregation clean.
many worry about family members still in the clutches of what many will concede is a cult..... many worry about being shunned, rejected, along with their wives, husbands, children, grandchilren at the behest of an organization that cannot staunch the hemorhage of existing membership in SPITE of that heinous, unloving, unconscionable requirement, which one can reject ONLY if they are willing to assume said shunning as a fate......
the sin this site dares commit over and over is to speak the truth about the failings of the false prophets and maybe it is an instrument in god's correction of an era of errors
i could be completely wrong, but i am willing to take the chance
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darth frosty
IMO Its not a matter of WHO is right or wrong. Its a matter of what is right for the individual. Whats right or the correct path for you is different than whats right for me. Too often life and certain people in charge wants everyone to fit in a certain mold, something generic one size fits all. But the reality is such a process over time can be stifling.
Your wife has questions about what she had been led to believe. Thats a good thing. I was raised to believe that we want people to have questions about the witness belief. Thing is with the passage of time those answers began to wear thin. Now as we are facing the second decade of the 21st century, The witness answers are having a tough time of holding water.
You say you want her to go to the religious leaders for answers. How can she do this when their answers have yet to satisfy her questions. Its like if you had a growth on your back and you went to your family doctor who you have been seeing for years. You showed him the growth and he says 'well in these times we live in its hard to say what that is, all I as a doctor can do is encourage you to wait on my medical school to do some research and in time they will be able to tell you what that growth is.' Would you accept such a response? No doubt you will be in the phone book or on the web looking for another opinion. -
carla
I understand how you feel. I felt the same way when the jw's asked my husband if he couldn't sneak out of the house without my knowledge in order to meet with them because I feel/felt the jw's are a cult. I feel the same way when the jw women leave things in my car just to piss me off. I feel the same way when they refuse to quit knocking on my door even though I have written NY, told the elders to have them stay away, told every jw who ever came to stay away, and told my husband to keep them away. I feel the same way as you when the jw women call my husband while we are on vacation, very annoying. I felt the same way when the entire cong learned ALL about us, our life, and our very personal things from his buddies & wives (elders & ms's) at the kh. My husband changed profoundly and NOT for the better when he became a jw. Life, family and love are now secondary to a man who belongs to a group who believes people, parents, children, and familly are disposable. It makes me sick.
Nobody on this board asks anything of your wife, they don't tell her if she doesn't come here she will be destroyed at the big A and if she talks to active jw's then we will shun her for ever. Nobody does that. Nobody asks her to sneak around on you, there is no 'organization' of apostates.
Why are you afraid to look at the history of your society? If it has truth it surely should be able to withstand scrutiny. But, then there are no Bereans allowed in the jw's are there? jw's are NOT to emulate Christ when He was critical of the pharisees, should a jw be critical of the fds when they teach falsehoods and false prophecies? false medical advice? How about air baths? don't know about them? Why not? Your fearless leader Rutherford once advocated them. That is just one very silly thing. The serious things would put you into such a tailspin you wouldn't know what to do. The UN scandal, pedophile scandal, abuses, blood, doctrinal flip flops, scholarly dishonesty, outright lies, mistranslations, false dates, pyramidology, numerology, etc...etc...etc... Maybe if you put your head in the sand it will all go away, but it won't. You will just get older and one day you will wake up and realize because of your own intellectual laziness or fear you have dedicated your life and risked all that is precious to you for a bunch of ungodly men in NY who don't give a rats ass about you.
You will never know what your society has done to its own people because they don't tell you about it and you are afraid to read your own literature from years gone by. Your own literature is now considered apostate, amazing.
Am I angry? you bet. You spend one hour reading the stories of ex jw's and the horrors they have gone through, the sexual abuse victims and maybe, just maybe you will be angry enough to actually learn what jw's are really about.
Ahh, it's good to get angry sometimes. It spurs me into action, time to print some more anti witness material to be delivered this week. That is the only tangible thing I can do, my jw has handed his brain over on a silver platter to a book publishing company masquerading as a religion. The least I can do is warn others about this dangerous and deadly cult.
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sarabi
I don't want to take away her freedom of thought. I want to protect my wife. I love her.