Funniest Meeting Memories

by YoungAmerican 28 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Moxie

  I just remembered another one...

  There was a little boy, let's call him James (I can't remember his name anymore), probably three or four years old and he was THE CUTEST little kid you can imagine. Anyway just before the meeting was about to start his sister who was a few years older saw him climbing up on to the stage on all fours with his head down. When she got to him she realized what he was doing... In a very loud and but innocent voice she cried "Oh! Stop licking the carpet James!". Almost everyone within earshot turned and froze with their mouths ajar... it was really funny.

  "Moxie"
• 

  WTWizard

  At the boasting sessions--I remember the time when the speaker didn't show up. He got lost, and we had
  to take the talks out of order and make up a public talk.

  Field circus--driving all the way across town, running into every red light, and then having to hunt for the
  street. I knew exactly where the street was, but I kept my big mouth shut and let them waste ten
  minutes trying to find it. Then they had to hunt for the number, wasting further gas and time. All that,
  and the person was not at home.
• 

  YoungAmerican

  Chill Rapunzel! It was funny at the time, when I was a kid. No harm. It was just funny. Don't get YOUR PANTIES all in a twist>
• 

  momzcrazy

  I'll wager if the elderly woman was like any I have met and cared for, she laughed the whole episode off herself. At that age you cease being embarrassed by life. Yes, they have pride and that should be respected. But they have also learned to laugh.

  My story. In my old hall we had a young man with Tourrettes. Need I say more? OK I will. He and his lovely mother always sat at the front. One Thursday I actually made it with all the kids in tow. I was glad I did. This young man "cat called" every male speaker for the first half. Everything from a**hole to m*therf*cker. I know he can't help it. Bless his heart. But damn I nearly wet myself holding the laughter in!

  momz
• 

  digderidoo

  One elder getting carried away giving a public talk. He was getting very excited describing the Israelites fleeing from the egyptians. Getting louder he said, "and Moses came to the Red Sea, he parted the waves so that they could escape over the sea bed. Then as the Eqyptians followed, Jehovah crashed the sea down on them killing the whole BLOODY lot of em!"
• 

  undercover

  There was the sister that couldn't play the piano but since she donated it to the hall she got to play the songs. She butchered the songs so bad that most people gave up singing half way through. One time she lost her place and stopped and announced that we were going to start over.

  There was the brother whose leg fell asleep or went numb or something during his Public Talk and fell off the stage. He wasn't hurt, just embarrassed.

  There was a older sister who had alzheimers yet her family forced her to the meetings. She would start talking to...nobody...during the meeting and her family would "shush" her and she would cuss them out...loudly.

  There was a brother, who thought he was a carpenter (and sometimes the son of god), working on repairs at the hall and he kept trying to beat something on to a door. The door had windows inset and another brother said, "I'm gonna laugh when you break that glass". The carpenter brother just glared at him and took a mighty swing at whatever it was he was hitting and sure enough the glass broke. Everyone fell out laughing.
• 

  oompa

  two old brothers, both relatives of mine, could not hear real well. very small hall, and at this meeting they asked one of them..."brother oompa please close with prayer".....BOTH of my old relatives stood up and said an entire prayer...neither one hearing the other..........people were falling down.........oompa
• 

  Layla33

  two old brothers, both relatives of mine, could not hear real well. very small hall, and at this meeting they asked one of them..."brother oompa please close with prayer".....BOTH of my old relatives stood up and said an entire prayer...neither one hearing the other..........people were falling down.........oompa

  They would have had to cart me away in a stretcher. That is hilarious!
• 

  sacolton

  My story. In my old hall we had a young man with Tourrettes. Need I say more? OK I will. He and his lovely mother always sat at the front. One Thursday I actually made it with all the kids in tow. I was glad I did. This young man "cat called" every male speaker for the first half. Everything from a**hole to m*therf*cker. I know he can't help it. Bless his heart. But damn I nearly wet myself holding the laughter in!

  That would have made me attend every single meeting non-stop. I would count the days, minutes and hours until the next meeting. My attendance record would have been spotless. LOL!
• 

  bigmouth

  A brother in my cong. wasn't a great reader but he was enthusiastic and a bit of a clown, the sort of guy that would make lame quips from the stage that would just confuse people.
  
  He's giving the No. 1 talk this evening and reads a passage about David 'rooting' the kings round about ! About 5 of us exploded and the bro had a look on his face that said 'What did I say ? Man , I'm funny"
  
  BTW we pronounce 'routed' as 'rooted', also slang for intercourse if you didn't know.