i screwed up (page 2)

seeking help

I have always been very supportive of my wife. and still am..i go with her to meetings, assemblies, etc. mostly sleep. i dont have a personal issue with the R and F. she was born into this so i knew goin in i guess. i appreiate the help. and i will try some of the things posted. esspically the brick removal. i just think life would be so much better without the whole JW thing. its funny how much you repress your feeling then its out. it felt good but not so much now. since i have given in so much shes just suprised by it all. not fair i guess.

easyreader1970

Not being a Witness, you have an advantage that I and some others do not have. You can openly doubt and question the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society without being labeled an apostate. Still, don't run at her too much because she has been trained well. JW defenses will automatically engage and she will shut down. She won't debate or argue a point; she will go vegetable on you just like she has been trained.

er

John Doe

I have always been very supportive of my wife. and still am..i go with her to meetings, assemblies, etc. mostly sleep. i dont have a personal issue with the R and F. she was born into this so i knew goin in i guess. i appreiate the help. and i will try some of the things posted. esspically the brick removal. i just think life would be so much better without the whole JW thing. its funny how much you repress your feeling then its out. it felt good but not so much now. since i have given in so much shes just suprised by it all. not fair i guess.

I agree with apologizing about blowing up. Don't attack the organization again directly, but stress that you are highly protective of children and the abuse of children, whether the allegation is true or not, bothers you. The only way you can make a point against the organization is indirectly. Let her draw her own conclusions. Think of it like pulling a rope instead of pushing a rope.

The problem is that JW's are taught that any doubts are evidence of Satan trying to mislead you. The articles repeatedly demonize personal thought. The rank and file are to question nothing, just act according to direction.

seeking help

my wife is very intelligent thats the thing. the hold is strong. i sometimes feel like the only way out is to leave her, and thats NOT an option. you just want to shut your mind off. i guess thats what they want. i have never said this out loud so to speak. so at least i feel someone is listening, even if its digital.

Hortensia

you could tell her that the whole thing was shocking to you and you were hoping she could offer something more reassuring than saying it was just apostate rumor. Then back pedal a bit, soothe it over, but keep an eye on the kids if you have them. It isn't just JWs, the world is full of pedophiles of all sorts. They tend to seek out positions that put them in touch with kids, and organizations that make it easy for them to prey on kids. Later on, you can say "oh my god, listen to this one" and tell her some other tiny little piece of info. You can shake your head wonderingly and say "I wonder where they find this stuff?" You're on her side, but you keep showing her stuff that surprises you or offends you or worries you.

lesterd

The org is no safer than anyother religion, and in the same respect it probably has the same average of weirdos and perverts, you have to be on guard everywhere. Welcome

83501nwahs

Be careful. I think you should first establish that you are a cult member in a religious cult. Once you realize that, and the dangers of being in a cult you can educate yourself about the history of the cult. The thing about cults is that you can get in fairly easily, but you can't get out without your life being ripped apart. Proceed very slowly. Take advice from successful faders. (I'm not one of them. I made some bad mistakes and I lost everything.) The great part of this is that you didn't screw up. You are now in touch with people and resopurces that can help you escape.

DevonMcBride

Welcome to the board. This NBC report about the settled lawsuits should prove the truth.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21917798/

Unfortunately closed minded JW's won't believe anything they don't want to hear about the Watchtower.

seeking help

some how i dont think that link will make anything better at this point. thats a punch in the stomach.

John Doe

That link might help if she came across it herself. But I agree, showing it to her won't accomplish anything.

i screwed up

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