Personal Experience I've Never Shared - I Hope it Helps Some Here !

flipper

O. K. How do I start ? I will preface the start of this first by saying this happened many years ago - in 1985 when I had just become a new father myself to my dear son Flipper junior, I'll call him. When I explain this to you, some of this may appear comical, in fact, now that I overcame it years ago, I can laugh at it, but when you see the totality of the story- when it happened then to me- it was no laughing matter. As most of my friends here know me on JWD , I'm easygoing and humorous , so in your replies I don't mind humor being used, serious replies are welcome too though ! I just want to share this as not only being therapeutic for me ; but it may help some to avoid either treating others like this - or experiencing it themselves.

As I stated I was 25 at the time- 4 months before my then JW wife had just given birth to our first child- my son. I had been a very avid backpacker , going on many mountain trips in the Sierra. A group of brothers in the congregation wanted to go on a hike . 4 of these guys were in their early 30's , witnesses in good standing , and 2 of them brought 3 sons, aged 8 to 10 years old. We did some fishing, eating, etc . Normal camping trip until - One of the guys thought it would be a good idea to see what happened if they tried to pants Mr. Flipper ! Now, remember, I was a youngest child, I never had brothers and sisters my age who used to do this kind of thing - I had never experienced this , and was shocked when they attempted this!

These were guys I considered my friends , and here they are trying to pull my underwear off, in front of the 8 to 10 year old boys and slap my a$$ ! I fought like hell ! 3 of them couldn't bring me down ! I kicked and yelled , and told them to stop, knock it off, but they just kept at it ! Finally 4 of them held me down, and with my bare a$$ exposed they spanked me in front of the 8 to 10 year old boys watching. Talk about humiliating ! I was so mad I could spit ! ( Now I know how Ned Beatty kind of felt in " Deliverance" ! ) Not that bad, but still why didn't they stop when they saw me putting up such a fight and resistance to this ? I was pissed beyond belief - was determined to get even ! As we sat at the dinner table later - as I sat across from one of the aggressors - I asked him if he " wanted any mustard for his hamburger ? " He said, " sure". So I obliged shooting the damned squeeze mustard into his face across the table ! He said, " Why did you do that ? What's wrong ? " I said, " I think you know ! " Then I walked off !

I was determined not to walk back with these guys hiking back to the cars. I walked ahead of the group by myself, still mad as hell over it , thinking to myself - How could these guys do this to another adult in front of their own sons ? I felt more mad over what kind of behavior it was teaching their boys- than actually any " emotional " stress it was causing me. Was this the way young 8 year old boys should be taught to treat others when they grow up ??? Being a new father myself - I promised myself I would raise my son to be more dignified and shoe basic human respect for others privacy - and teach my son to respect others feelings ! Which as the years progressed - I feel I made good on that promise. Flipper junior is a great young man , who is very caring, but strong for what's right as well !

I eventually talked to these guys about how offended I was in a couple weeks . 2 of the 4 apologized, 2 said they didn't think it was a big deal. A good friend of mine - an elder told me to try moving beyond it- which in time I did , but I never went camping or hiking with those guys again. The relationships were never the same. As an interesting side note - all 4 of those brothers that did this to me - their witness wives all left them for other men, and divorced the guys, and got DFed leaving the organization I suppose for " real men " ! Strange twist of fate, don't ya think ? I guess it's one reason I believe in Karma, good and bad.

So, sorry this is long , but it's been good to get it off my chest to my JWD friends here. I am honored by all your friendships on this board - and this is the first time I've revealed this to this large of a group before ! I'm fine now , my life is great with Mrs. Flipper and between my son, some good guy friends I've made on the board here, and others , I moved on with time. So, did any of you ever hear of situations like this happening ? How was it handled ? Did it affect the parties involved ? For awhile it affected my ability to want to have guy buddies , was a lot closer with women actually , they seemed less hurtful in their ways. But, I've had a few good buddies over the years, but they died , accidents, sickness, etc.

So thanks for listening, and I welcome your takes, comments, questions, experiences or anything you have to say ! May we continue to raise our children to respect the rights and dignity of others. I truly believe their happiness in dealing with others as adults - depends on it ! Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

leftbelow

That is complete BS I hate that people who are supposed to be christians act like complete A-holes that sucks.

loosie

OMG these were JW's!!!!!!!!!!!

F***ing A!!!!!!!! I shouldn't be shocked but. I am. I am old enough to not be surprised about jw behavior anymore.. but shit that is rude. The elder that told to get over it should have his pants pulled down and spanked and see if he can get over it.

I agree that this didn't teach their son's how to behave like an adult. What were they thinking? I talk about certain subjects with my girlfriends but I don't discuss those subjects if our kids are around because it isn't proper. Geez. What did they have a lobotomy?

Maybe they were secretly in the closet. No scratch that. I know gay men who don't behave like that.

They have no excuse.

Velvetann

Mr. Flipper

You had EVERY RIGHT to be upset. That was just a horrible humiliating thing to do. I had to reread the first of your story to make sure you were talking about JW men. That was so wrong in front of children never mind in front of anyone. In my opinion it was totally unappropriate and they obviously were not very theocratic followers of the Watchtower Society. I know tons of worldly people since I have left the religion and none of them that I know would ever think to do such a thing. I have seen rowdy, drunk men believe me, my deceased husband used to hang out with a lot of men friends, they got really rowdy at baseball tournaments, golf tournaments, poker parties etc, but Never did they ever do such a thing like that.

Thanks for sharing that, Its good insight as to how just because a person is a JW doesn't mean they are a good person.

Velvetann

Seeker4

I've never understood that kind of crap - or towel snapping in locker rooms, nuggies, etc. etc. All seemed pretty stupid to me.

Were they drunk??

S4

Thechickennest

Mr Flipper:

I would of went to prison if someone did that to me, because I would of killed someone! Mustard in the face would'nt have been what I would have done. I swear when it comes right down to it some JW men do not have any boundries at all. They are worse than animals. I have read some things on this board that just shocks me. I have seen sisters come to the meetings with black eyes and broken arms with some pretty shakey stories. One sister I recall was the presiding overseer's teenage daughter. She was a regular pioneer. A couple weeks after her mysterious injury she moved out of her parents home and left JW's and dissaccociated herself.

What happened to you was a savage attack. You would'nt have been wrong to press charges. That stupid dumbass elder that told you to move on....well, I can't think of enough things wrong with his attitude.

The young boys had to be mortified at the behavior of the men attacking you. It's no wonder the organization brings up abusive men from infancy that later go on to abuse there power and physically harm children and adults alike.

Thank you for sharing.

Who are you?

A neighborhood kid tried to do that to my kid when my son was about 9 or 10. Though I didn't physically assault the other kid, but I definitely traumatized him for life and started a years long neighborhood feud. After a few years and at an age when my son could take care of himself, I realized that the other kid was probably mimicking what had been done to him at school, and not wanting the kid to grow up thinking he was a unrehabitatable criminal, I went over and apologized for my verbal assault. Fences were mended and he later married and become an ultra religious church going citizen. Now if I had found out that this kid had picked it up from watching his father do it to an adult friend on a camping trip, I would have called child protective services on the father. Actually that day, at that moment I know I would have done something much worse.

flipper

LEFTBELOW- Yeah- I agree. I thought it was pretty hypocritical of them to go to the knigdom hall acting like christians - then act like crazed maniacs out in the mountains !

LOOSIE- I felt it was rude as well! And it did teach the children very wrong behavior as adults ! That was my main concern !

VELVETANN- Thanks for your kind words. I too feel I had a right to be mad ! If I could have overpowered 4 of those guys - I would have kicked their everliving a$$e$ ! But 4 got me down and held me down ! You are right- many JW's act one way at the kingdom hall - and another way outside the kingdom hall !

SEEKER 4 - No. These guys were not drunk ! They were totally sober. Very much so. Just freakily weird behavior. Peace out,Mr. Flipper

Gregor

"Take off 'em little panties, boy!"

Deliverance, indeed. You showed a lot of restraint. I would have waited till they were asleep then busted their noses with a hunk of firewood. With friends like that who needs enemies.

Bring_the_Light

I don't see what the big deal was, you should get over it.

Personal Experience I've Never Shared - I Hope it Helps Some Here !

Share this