Perry,
After being born again, the spirit of God really just evened me out. Little by little, I became the kind of man I always wanted to be....for real and not just a put on.
That's great Perry, it does feel really good to get than balance again. I feel the same way - I felt being a witness, I was unable to be human. I remember, for instance, feeling really sorry for the people devasted by the tsunami by Sumatra, but in the cong I was in, this letter came from the local branch saying that the brothers were ok, and as luck would have it, most were inland at an assembly or something like that, so weren't harmed. And in my mind I was screaming, thinking, what about all the other PEOPLE who have lost their children, mothers, fathers etc??!? And the society recommended against donating to Red Cross or other charities, and instead to donate to the society, and they would use the money as they saw fit!!!!! Were they going to launch a full scale relief effort to help the worldly people? Hell no! This was when I was still a 100% JW ministerial servant.
But since I've left, I felt that sort of feeling you describe. The only difference is I'm basically atheist. I'm not dogmatic about anything, I won't even try to insist that their IS no god, I just dont see enough reason to believe in the god of the bible, the ancient greeks, romans, hindus etc. But I have became much more the man I always wanted to be. I am a better father and husband than I used to be ... by a long shot. I'm still hounded by weird feelings when it comes to charities, because I never used to donate as a JW - only to the MT24:14 box at the hall. But the other day I donated to the childrens kidney foundation and it felt so right.
Sorry, I always ramble.