Hey Lisa
My sister has this problem with her in-laws also. Her mother-in-law feels very close to her grandaughter. They have a special bond and quite frankly her boy is not interested in going to see little mermaids on ice with them. So being fair does not always mean having to be the same or exactly 50/50. However, it became a problem because time and time again the grandma planned special time with her grandaugher but never did with her grandson. So, my sister had to speak up again and say, I know you only want to take one kid at a time and that's fine, but you need to take turns. I'm not sending the girl until the boy has hid his turn! I do agree when they are actually babies, this is not always practical. But when they are old enough to know who grandma and grandpa are then it's only fair to take turns IMO.
Cog
cog, thank you for responding to my post. The younger two are not really babie. Their 4 & 5, so it's not like there are diapers or anything. But they are constant. After an hour or two..I'm just worn out. Actually I've become much better with the 5 yr old, also a girl. She's been spending the night more, and I take her to school or pick her up. But the 4 yr old..I swear he looks for things to irrate me.
Lisaveg -
You never leave the other youngsters out when getting presents; so I can't see it would do any harm to make it clear that as the two other littleuns get to an age where you can just hang out with them and have fun - NOT BABYSITTING FOR FREE - they can come on their own and have a girly weekend too.
It actually annoys me that so many parents treat Grans as free babysitters. As if it is a duty so the parents can leave their annoying kids elsewhere whist they go out for fun.
A french woman said to me a couple of years ago "It is as if you love your children, but do not like them."
HB
HB...This was the biggest part of the argument. When I told my daughter watching the younger ones felt like babysitting, she freaked and said she was going to ban me for seeing any of them, if I didn't stop refering to "spending time w/my grandchilden" as babysitting them. She said I was NOT babystting, that they want to spend time with me and as a grandmother I should want to spend time with them.... and if I didn't want to see or spend time with them, I could say no. That's not it at all......I want to spend time alone w/ the oldest...I enjoy her company. (she's like a little mini-me) lisa
