My nephew is getting baptized (page 2)

SixofNine

Does he at least know that you wish he wouldn't?

It was my understanding that you're DFed? If that's so how will he keep in touch with you when we all know he should not be speaking with you? I know that when I was in no matter how much I cared for someone there was no way in heck I'd speak with them if they were DFed. Is there even a small chance that he won't speak to you once he gets dunked?

coolhandluke

CHL,
It was my understanding that you're DFed? If that's so how will he keep in touch with you when we all know he should not be speaking with you? I know that when I was in no matter how much I cared for someone there was no way in heck I'd speak with them if they were DFed. Is there even a small chance that he won't speak to you once he gets dunked?

Yep, I'm DF'd. That is another reason why I'm instituting a reason for him to talk to me - business. We never, ever have to talk about JWism. Business. I can even eat with him - business lunch. So yeah, he might not want to speak to me about spiritual things and I'll never pressure him to but we can discuss business.

Does he at least know that you wish he wouldn't?

No. No negativity. No reason for him to cut me off. No reason for him to doubt my intentions.

crazyblondeb

I'm going to love him not on my terms, but on his... unconditionally. Really, that is all I can do.

You are one hell of a man. I have followed your posts, and know how much he means to you. You are both so blessed to have each other. He will one day realize this. It is truly rare for anyone in that cult to ever know what unconditional love is!!

shelley

Crumpet

It is truly rare for anyone in that cult to ever know what unconditional love is!!
shelley

Shelley you completely hit the nail on the head with this. I think its even hard for us to recognise and accept unconditional love for a long time after we leave, let alone be able to extend it. I'm only just learning, but its a happy lesson.

lola28

I don’t mean to be negative but business? Seriously? How long do you think his elders/congregation will tolerate that for? What if someone is suddenly “stumbled” by his relationship with you, how will he deal with that kind of pressure? We all know that as long as you’re not baptized you can get away with some things but once you get dunked, things have a way of changing. At any rate, good luck to both of you.

coolhandluke

I don’t mean to be negative but business? Seriously? How long do you think his elders/congregation will tolerate that for? What if someone is suddenly “stumbled” by his relationship with you, how will he deal with that kind of pressure? We all know that as long as you’re not baptized you can get away with some things but once you get dunked, things have a way of changing. At any rate, good luck to both of you.

True, you have a point. I am however following the letter of their law. This is my only option save being reinstated which is just a lie. I hate lying, especially to a kid. How would he ever trust me again?

You are one hell of a man. I have followed your posts, and know how much he means to you. You are both so blessed to have each other. He will one day realize this. It is truly rare for anyone in that cult to ever know what unconditional love is!!
shelley

Thanks Shelley. Honestly I really didn't know what unconditional love was until I left as well. Hoping he'll see that before I did.

BabaYaga

Damn. Well I have to say, I'm sorry to hear this.

But I will say this... Coolhand, you are a better human than I. Just the thought of being there dressed up when a loved one gets dunked makes me have a panic attack. I seriously don't think I could do that.

In the same vein, however, I have been SERIOUSLY WORKING ON my KNEE-JERK reactions to my beloveds who are still in. It, as you might imagine, is ruining my relationship with them. You DO have the right idea, my Dear. Do what you can do and let it go, love them on their terms, unconditionally. That way... they are not afraid to approach you when they themselves have doubts, and they want to leave but have no one else to turn to...

I'd say that's a fine plan.

Love,
Baba.

summer

"I'm going to love him not on my terms, but on his... unconditionally."

What else is there to say?

Only that if there were more people like you, this world would be a much better and peaceful place.

I truly admire you!

allreadygone

Cool,

Unconditional love is very very rare, especially in that cult. So someday he WILL truly appreciate it.

My advise is to truly live your life, make the most out of every day and truly be happy. When he sees the difference, that you are a very positive, strong, and happy person. And all others around him are negative, sheep like and depressed drones hopefully he will see the contrast and the light will go on all by itself.

Gone

My nephew is getting baptized

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