My nephew is getting baptized (page 3)

nelly136

sometimes losing the battle is the best way to win the war,

if he's got half your smarts he'll go far regardless of whether he's in or out, heres hoping its the latter.

wishing you the best of everything with your long term plan.

joannadandy

You're my hero. And this is a prime example of why.

It's always been my philosophy that I will live my life, respect theirs, and always leave my door open, even if they close theirs.

I know this has to be hard on you, but I also know you've given it plenty of thought as well. Give it a few years, somewhere around 18-21 will be the real testing of if he sticks with it or moves on. A lot of times it takes actually being baptized and all that goes with it to fully get how messed up it is. If he has even half of the curiousity and reasoning skills of his uncle I think it will all work out ok in the end. Especially with you there providing that prodding and comforting at the same time.

outofthebox

Don't worry. Your nephew will come here eventually and laugh about it.

looking_glass

CHL - that is all you can do. And I give you tons of credit to be able to step outside yourself, hold your tongue and just be there for him.

I have a nephew that is bpt'd and he is currently pioneering. He has an LD (dyslexic) and has struggled his entire life. JWs give him a community and something he can feel "smart" about because he does not feel that way about much in life. So I can understand his need to fit in. He visits me and we rarely talk about his religion. The only thing I do is tell him I love him unconditionally and will always be here for him where ever he is or is not in his life.

I can tell you that it was the hardest thing in my life to hold my tongue when my nephew told me he was getting bpt'd and when he tells me now of his plans for his JW future. But I had to learn the road I wanted to take and it would not have stopped me if a non jw family member tried to stop me. So the only thing I can do is hang back and just be there with all the love and support I can give. Til the day he realizes this is not for him and then I will be there to help him deal with that.

Unconditional love is an amazing thing and you are a great uncle to be able to give it out.

Peace - L_G

Mr Ben

Well this is a public forum, so I hope you don't mind if I disagree with you.

I wish, I truly wish in retrospect, that my family and friends had challenged me about joining the JW's, but they didn't. They were "supportive". They thought that was the right thing to do, being all politically correct n' all.

Oppose him with some simple examples, organ transplants etc, THEN, when he needs you he will remember you were the one who truly tried to help him. Otherwise, what will he think? "Uncle, you KNEW? And still didn't help me see the truth about the LIE?"

Mr Ben

I probably should add that if you had been my uncle and had followed my suggestion, you would have been my "evil" uncle for ten years! (But a hero after I escaped!)

joannadandy

But what if you'd never left? Then you'd always think of him as your evil uncle who just doesn't get it and can't be supportive?

I mean I know we all hope everyone of our loved ones wakes up and chooses to leave, but what if they don't...what then? I guess I'd rather have a strained relationship than no relationship with my family...but to each their own, which is why we each deal with our circumstances as they come. Which is why there is no right way to leave the JW's just as there is no right way to handle/deal with your family who stays in. I think we're all just trying to do the best we can.

coolhandluke

I can tell you that it was the hardest thing in my life to hold my tongue when my nephew told me he was getting bpt'd and when he tells me now of his plans for his JW future. But I had to learn the road I wanted to take and it would not have stopped me if a non jw family member tried to stop me. So the only thing I can do is hang back and just be there with all the love and support I can give. Til the day he realizes this is not for him and then I will be there to help him deal with that.

That is pretty much my thought as well. We all learn in our own time. Wisdom cannot be forced down anyone's throat.

But what if you'd never left? Then you'd always think of him as your evil uncle who just doesn't get it and can't be supportive?

That was my thought as well Joanna. If he doesn't leave and I try to pry him out, I'll never be approachable. I'd rather him have to make excuses for treating me a certain way since I am open to him than forcing his hand to be unilateral in relation to me

Don't worry. Your nephew will come here eventually and laugh about it.

I hope so OOTB

Oppose him with some simple examples, organ transplants etc, THEN, when he needs you he will remember you were the one who truly tried to help him. Otherwise, what will he think? "Uncle, you KNEW? And still didn't help me see the truth about the LIE?"

If and when that happens Mr. Ben, I think I'll tell him 'Child, try and remember what your reasons were for getting baptized. Remember what you were thinking when you got in the water. Remember how much you believed, how much you trusted, how much you wanted this and then ask yourself if anyone save Jesus returning on a cloud could have disuaded you from you stance and then ask yourself why I didn't tell you.'

Joanna - you're my hero too. I dream of little teeth, fire-truck red hair and a cat that tries to suck out your soul when you sleep. :) Seriously, thank you for the support. You know how much this kid means to me.

sometimes losing the battle is the best way to win the war,
if he's got half your smarts he'll go far regardless of whether he's in or out, heres hoping its the latter.
wishing you the best of everything with your long term plan.

Thanks for the comments and well wishing Nelly. it all helps.

coolhandluke

My advise is to truly live your life, make the most out of every day and truly be happy. When he sees the difference, that you are a very positive, strong, and happy person. And all others around him are negative, sheep like and depressed drones hopefully he will see the contrast and the light will go on all by itself.

That is what happened with me. I'm hoping history repeats itself.

snowbird

I understand, CHL, I truly do.

My daughter is a baptized JW, and I have to walk a fine line also.

You are a good man.

Sylvia

My nephew is getting baptized

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