by coolhandluke 36 Replies latest jw friends
My daughter is a baptized JW, and I have to walk a fine line also.
So then snowbird, how do you handle it with your daughter? Do you make subtle hints? I mean JW's are amazing at picking up subtle digs. They have this built in radar for anything undermining, then their brain shuts down and the programming starts speaking for them. Its like a failsafe device. Does she have children? How do you handle that? If you are DF'd how do you maintain a relationship with her?
Thanks,
CHL
Do you make subtle hints?
Sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant. Like insisting that she go to college.
Does she have children?
No, she's right at 19, has a job, and goes to all the meetings religiously.
If you are DF'd how do you maintain a relationship with her?
I'm not DF'd, DA'd or anything. I simply quit. She has accepted that.
Thanks,
CHL
You're welcome.
Sylvia
So have you figured out what keeps her in? I'm asking and defering to your having been there. Luca is 15... soon to be approaching the mindset of your daughter...
I appreciate the advice, especially about college.
So have you figured out what keeps her in?
Let's see.
1. To prove that, unlike me, she can stay the course
2. Friends who don't challenge her eccentricities
3. She really believes she's doing a good work
Sylvia
Dear Cool Hand Luke - I just want to say that, in every meaning of the word, you are really "heroic." For me, a person is heroic if they show integrity - if they remain true to their ideals, their duties, and to themselves - even in the face of adversity. Your nephew is an extremely fortunate young man to have you as an uncle.
I just want to say that, in every meaning of the word, you are really "heroic." For me, a person is heroic if they show integrity - if they remain true to their ideals, their duties, and to themselves - even in the face of adversity. Your nephew is an extremely fortunate young man to have you as an uncle.
Thanks Rap. From this community that means quite a bit. It is hard to balance his needs versus mine. He is highly important to me and part of me wants to violate the principles of higher idealism just to have this kid be free. He doesn't even realize he is a slave yet... It would be easier to go back and have my grandma for the last few years of her life, to have my mom 'be able to have her son back'. But there is so much more at stake than general comfort...
3. She really believes she's doing a good work
I think that is a big one. I believed the same thing. I think this kid will follow that. At some point though you realize that your actions are futile and there is more going on behind the curtain that makes any 'good work' invalid and honestly damaging. I can see in retrospect that those I baptized and those that I convinced to 'stay' by my words or action did in some ways have better lives because of my actions but for the most part I sold them a lie hook, line and well... you know. I think your daughter will eventually hunger for something more and that will be her exit. Thanks for being willing to share. It helped quite a bit. I share the 'hero' moniker that Rapunzel gave me with you...
Wow, well I hope his new status doesn't become too much of an obstacle in you guys relationship. That can be tough. If he's not too diehard and has a little common sense it won't be that bad I'm sure. Goodluck and godspeed, brougham.
