" i am sorry you were upset" is the statement i use when someone takes umbrage at what i say.... because truly i do not say things that i do not believe and i do not apologize for what i believe..... that simple statement conveys that their being upset was not my intention, but neither are their feelings/reactions my responsibility.....
anyone who has spent any time in couseling knows whereof i speak..... the use of "I" instead of "you" in statements is one of the first things taught ( and hopefully learned)... so it is fair to say " i am upset by your statement" rather than " you made me upset"
don't take it on, ms. grace....