Graduation and elders meeting!

by why??? 60 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  itsallgoodnow

  dawg, I was born in, too. And still, I know now that I should have trusted that nagging feeling I had, instead of trying to be a people pleaser before I got baptized. I don't think anyone saying anything would have helped me, either. If someone "courageous" enough did speak to me then, and if the elders didn't squash them before it ever reached my little ears, I would have thought they were a rabid apostate from the devil. I probably wouldn't have listened. There were people I needed to please. Still, I accept full responsibility for my situation because I know why I got so far into it when I did.

  People need to take responsibility for themselves. Otherwise they will always be a victim in need of rescue.

  You are just getting impatient. Who knows how many decades of apathy it will be before this whole thing goes down? I may not see the end of the WTBS in my lifetime, and I really don't care. Once you accept the fact that you played a role in this, that of the person who didn't do his research before getting involved in a scam, you will see how irrelevant it is.

  This is just one of many many abusive cults, and isn't anywhere near being as bad as it could be.
• 

  why???

  Thank you for the advice. I just wanted to let you all know that I just met with two elders. One of which I like very much he is very sincere and does care about me. THhy were nice to me and just kept explaining that what I heading toward is not the right path and they hope I see it. They did try to get me to admit things I did with him in the beginning but I barely said anything thanks to some advice here so all the know is that I've held his hand and kissed him...i hope thats not too much info....cuz he said that pornea had a wide range!!! They wanted me to make a decision then but I said i need to really thing about what they said(also a suggestion I found here) and they said they appreciate that so as of now I have about a week before they want to continue the discussion. I really have no desire of meeting with them again cuz I know they will try to pry deeper. I'm thinking the best think to do is just get married and leave.....they can find out after that, that was my decision. I'm really sick of this whole situation and as much as everyone is telling me it wont work I know it will so I'm gonna follow my heart.
• 

  besty

  Ask your parents to ask the elders why they want to meet with you.

  See if you can prolong that ping-pong conversation until after your wedding. The desire for the meeting will cool after the wedding.

  If all else fails suggest a few possible meeting times and places that 'work for your schedule' - Monday morning 8am at the college canteen would be a good start...
• 

  dawg

  it's all good now... that statement you made shows that you still fold under pressure. You also keep on saying "if an apostate" were to do such and such a long time ago. And thus we have the crux of the problem.
  
  First off, it shouldn't/wouldn't be "an" apostate if we all banded together, but with the attitudes we have on display on JWD, it's clear there is very few that have the courage to do so, but if we did there'd be thousands that could make an unified front. That would have an effect if we all stood firm and would surly add to our ranks, to the point that one day all this crap might crumble.
  
  And as sad as this is to bring out, aren't you still being manipulated? You're too afraid to speak your minds and point out the foolery even today just as you crumbled years ago to the pressure and got baptized.
  
  I've read it all, I can't say such and such because I have a wife still in; I've actually read this when people have kids that are being brought up in the cult. I say to hell with your comfort at this point, you should everything in your power to get your damn kids out. But, I've heard pretty much every damn excuse that can be given, but it all boils down to fear, most of you out there still fear there bozos.
  
  How in the world do some of you guys sleep at night, knowing you too weak even now to make a stand against a bunch of damned fools... what would happen if we simply decided we weren't going to take that shit any longer (shunning)
  
  I wrote several letters, and told my family that shunning crap was going to stop, that if I ever got shunned again I'd do something to call the alleged shunner out. My cousin's dieing, and not one family member shunned me at the hospital the last few weeks... you could see the fear they have of me, and it makes me feel empowered. They know shunning me at a family event like this isn't a good idea, as I've made it clear I'll take their shit no longer. Power, that's what deciding you're not going to take their crap gives you.. power over fools.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  They did try to get me to admit things I did with him in the beginning but I barely said anything thanks to some advice here so all the know is that I've held his hand and kissed him...i hope thats not too much info....cuz he said that pornea had a wide range!!!

  Not too much info. Just perfect. You did nothing "scripturally" wrong.
  That means there is no reason to form a JC.

  They wanted me to make a decision

  They are saying, "Make our job easier. Get on board with us or tell us you don't
  want to be one of us." Don't ever answer such a question- EVER.

  ...as of now I have about a week before they want to continue the discussion. I really have no desire of meeting with them again cuz I know they will try to pry deeper.

  Tell them there is nothing new. You have no desire to meet with them again. You
  are still examining things for yourself. Be insistent if necessary. Bottom line is that
  there is no obligation to keep meeting with them, they are looking to trip you up.
  "NO THANK YOU" can be a good enough answer. "Why not?" "NO THANK YOU."
  "But we just want to help, we have more to discuss, we...." "NO THANK YOU."

  just get married and leave.....they can find out after that, that was my decision.

  Yes, you handled this awesomely. That is the correct answer. There is no WT-defined
  sin in getting married. Then don't tell them anything, if they call, tell them to stop calling
  or have your husband tell them to stop calling. There's an answer.
• 

  besty

  Good suggestion to get your future husband involved in any elder meetings - they'll be significantly less culty with a normal person there.
• 

  logic&reason

  Why??? - I hope things continue to work out for you. And Congrats on your Graduation.

  Dawg - I feel your pain... just think about the Marines, then think about the CIA. Both are useful.
• 

  dawg

  Logic, I hear you, there are many ways to accomplish things... but most on this site don't do anything but whine.
• 

  KKLUV155

  I was in a simular situation 16 years ago. I didn't graduate college but was dating a worldly man. The elders found out about it. My mom was so upset because they came to our house ( I was still living with Mom and Dad ). I never got a call from them the whole month I was sick in bed, but when they found out I was dating they wanted to meet with me. I told my mom that I will not meet with them cause if they can't see me while I am sick and unhappy then they can't see me when I am well and Happy. I never got df'd. They had no proof. I would not meet with them if I were you. Congrats on your graduation and upcoming marriage.
• 

  hamsterbait

  SO -

  your parents have known about this relationship for HOW LONG???????

  Are you baptized? If they knew why did they not DUB you in to the Elduhs??

  They are implicated in the sin for not reporting it before now.

  HMMMM.

  Strikes me they are TERRIFIED of being DF at this late stage of the "Conclusion of the System of Things"

  HB