Depressed, repressed, and angry all the time.
Were U Depressed Because U Were A Jehovah's Witness?
by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends
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LovesDubs
I think some of it was "buyers remorse" too once I realized that I was STUCK in this religion I had just gotten my ass baptized into at age 30! I was coming off a BAD divorce from a very abusive man and he had kept me separated from any friends, entertainment, family...I was gradually being stripped of who I was under his militant and alcoholic ways. Once I escaped him, literally, I was hungry for company and friends and for someone to be in my life and the JWs I fell into fit that bill. But in joining them which seemed like a good idea at the time (after a year they told me I either had to get baptized or they couldnt hang with me any more because I was "worldly" !!!) ... I was required to be baptized in 85 and by 86 I knew I had made a HUGE mistake. But having thrown my new found faith constantly in the faces of my family, I wasnt about to quit so I stuck it out. But the more time that passed the more deeply depressed about my choice I became. But I continued the facade...married a JW, had three JW kids, was always at meetings and studying my WT and had the Book STudy at my house...the whole nine yards. And every holiday I wasnt with my family I died a little more. I would go into a deeper depression from about Halloween through Jan 2 and felt like the whole world was passing me by and I was trapped. Everyone I knew was on some kind of antidepressive..usually homeopathic things...because if you were DEPRESSED as a JW that meant you were a BAD JW and then you would get MORE depressed because you felt like you were failing Jehovah TOO and you brought the depression and sadness on yourself because Jehovahs People Are Happy People...and the cycle is vicious! My nonJW sister finally told me in 1994 that I was no longer WELCOME around her, her kids and her family and that I was not to contact ANY OF THEM ever again because I was trying to "seduce" her children into becoming JWs. I thought at the time I was being RIGHTEOUS and chose JEHOVAH and was feeling really good about making a stand and all that crap...but inside of me it was the last straw. And I started to examine the organization and what I thought I "knew" to be the Truth.
In late 1996 I found Randy Watters site, who directed me to Rays book which all lead me to FREEDOM! And I DAd in January 1997.
The first thing I did was send a fax to my sister humbling myself and telling her I disavowed my JW faith and would not blame her if she never spoke to me again because of the scourge I had brought into this family. I was terrified she wouldnt reply to me. I sat by the fax machine. It rang less than ten minutes later!! She was so quick to forgive and embrace me and the depression and lonliness I had felt for 13 years...lifted like a pall from me.
Freedom to love whom you want to...freedom to love as God told us to and to embrace our families as he wants us to. :) Depression and JWism. As soon as you get into one the other comes with it.
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minimus
If a "normal" well meaning, heartfelt person wanted to do the correct thing as a Witness, it's actually almost IMPOSSIBLE to be joyful and not depressed if you're sincerely trying to follow the JW lifestyle and regime.
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james_woods
There is also the horror of having your parents join it when you are about 14 years old.
You are suddenly a freak in your own high school. Now, I admit that I was a science nerd before (that's Mr. Science Nerd to you jocks who need help with your math paper) - but this JW freak thing was a very depressing thing to handle.
I spent the rest of high school trying to hide this secret second life from my friends.
It sucked.
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minimus
Being a Jehovah's Witness makes you dysfunctional.
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stillajwexelder
and the best friends of many elders are Jim Beam and Jack Daniels
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minimus
Most elders and Bethelites that I knew loved to drink. It's the one vice they all seemed to share in common.
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snowbird
Sylvia,
Isn't it great to be off medication? Honestly, I've never been happier, and I'm glad that you're feeling better too.
It's great in every way - especially on the pocketbook!
So good to be free of that treadmill.
Sylvia
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bigboi
I honestly can't remember. The time I was a JW was a depressing time in my life, but I was pretty young and there were more factors involved than just my responsibility as a jw. One of the reasons for me leaving was because I wasn't happy and couldn't figure out why. I needed some time to lay back a see if this was really the right path for me.
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undercover
If a "normal" well meaning, heartfelt person wanted to do the correct thing as a Witness, it's actually almost IMPOSSIBLE to be joyful and not depressed if you're sincerely trying to follow the JW lifestyle and regime.
If you truly took everything the Society, Circuit Overseers, Disctrict Overseers and elders said and tried to apply it and keep exerting in the ministry, you would end up either working yourself to death or depressed. What's sad is that so many JWs don't know that they're a rat in a maze, exhibiting classic signs of depression. They think by "staying busy" in meetings, service, personal study they're fighting off depression when they're actually working themselves into an impossible state where they can ever feel satisfied or happy. They put all their happiness and satisfaction in a dream, never living for the moment or enjoying life itself. They'll die miserable, sad, unfulfilled and probably broke because they didn't save for old age.