You don't understand God Yahweh of the Bible ! Christ suffered more than you and your children . If I were to choose sufferings of Christ fallen on me or to live a prosperous life as you do and you show the evidence you are not saved person and you may die tomorrow and that would be your final end once for all the time I would prefer my children sufferring and even dying before they could reach the age like you and find yourself in the situation you are.
Sufferings of children ? It is easy ! No! My sufferings ! I would feel them ! So I would prefer to suffer now and make sure I will live after aI die forever than to be in your situation and not to suffer at all till death and that's would be the end of me forever.
Just where is your logic ? Who would not choose sufferings now for God Yahweh, knowing He is a Life-Giver that can last eternally ?!
You completely don't know who God Yahweh really is. You ignore the passages of the Bible where it shown how great servants of God Yahweh were persecuted and tormented and died cruel death ! No one blamed God Yahweh for that !
Find me in the Bible any God's servant speaking about God as a tyrant ! You will find none ! They knew God enough to stand for Him in any situation.
Suppose we walk along a sea shore and your child is going to drown being eaten by shark and it is beyond your control and satanist is passiing by and tells you if you denounce God of the Bible I will be able still to get to your child and take him out safely to the land .And you must raise your child as an atheist .Would you agree and denounce God ?
If I had a child in the same situation I would reconcile himslef with his fate and stay in my faith in God knowing that my child will come back to life in the future and will live and have a chance to live forever.
You raised your child as an atheist and then comes the time of judgement and your child is gonna die forever and before he dies he will chop your head and hands off from despair for what you did to him by saving him from the sea water back then . Had your child died at that time your child would be raised in the Paradise and have a chance to accept God Yahweh and Jesus and live forever .But it turns out out of your shallow love for your child you chose his temporary life ,not thinking about his eternal future ! You didn't put trust in God Yahweh.