Any Have Witness Spouses who Freaked Out When You Missed Meetings ?

flipper

I mean , REALLY FREAKED OUT ! Got actually physically mean and abusive , or screaming if you were going to miss a meeting ? Seeing as we have some posters on board with witness spouses still in - I felt it might be good to share battle stories to see how you put up with it. Or if you finally had the courage to call the marriage a day- call it quits !

I was married 19 years to a JW woman- divorced in 1998 . One time when I was going to work on an out of town job in the S.F. bay area I was going to be gone during the Memorial. I stated to my then wife that I would try to attend over there . As she was very concerned about " appearance at meetings as a family unit " and everything outward appearance wise - she started screaming at me , " We have to go to the Memorial as a FAMILY ! You are the head, and we need to be there as a family unit ! You just have to tell your boss you can't go to the job out of town ! " Of course - I was the sole provider- it's not like I could ask my boss for the time off ! So I said, " I can't get the time off ! I promise I'll go when I'm out of town ! " Then she starts screaming and bashing her fists into the glass mirror in the dining room with glass shattering all over the floor ! She had lost it ! Then she went over to another glass mirror and started pounding on that one ! I stopped her and held her close for awhile asking , " What's wrong ? " She just kept shaking,and crying , and had this catatonic look of mind control in her eyes.

So , I did go on the out of town job, went to the Memorial, however that was not enough. She imposed this on our children as well. One time when our at the time 5 year old daughter was not quick enough in getting ready for a meeting she yelled at our daughter, " Flipper's daughter , Jehovah only likes girls who get ready for the meetings on time and don't interrupt others getting in late to the meeting. If you are NOT ready we will just leave you home by yourself ! " Of course I told the JW wife to knock it off and stop talking that way to our daughter - but you get the picture. It was 19 years of this ; and I stayed in the marriage just for the sake of the kids, and of course ; no scriptural grounds to leave !

So, towards the end of our marriage the elders recommended she seek counseling from a psychiatrist- her response was, " I don't need any help ! It was my step mother's fault, my husband's fault , etc. " Everyone else but herself. She refused counseling for anger and being abused as a young girl - and the marriage was history. So, when you see spouses being persecuted by witness spouses for not going to meetings- always remember ; there may be more to the story than meets the eye ! Have any here been ridiculed harshly for not going to meetings by witness family members ? Kind of a reverse type persecution ? ? How did you survive and handle it ? As always - I look forward to your responses ! Hope you all are well

compound complex

Mr. Flipper:

My need to take off an occasional weekend to recharge my batteries was not understood. To put it as simply as possible, the WTB&TS is a High Demand Organization, requiring much time and devotion. Some of our mates are/were in total accord with the militant demands of this totalitarian theocracy.

I knew the danger signals of being emotionally and physically overwrought. But I was not permitted the freedom of downtime. Oh, I took off when I saw fit, but there was hell to pay.

Does anyone really have to be on the run 7 days a week?

Life today - by comparison - is luxurious!

Thanks for asking ...

CoCo

Honesty

I endured screaming, physical abuse and being reported to the other brothers for about 3 years before each meeting before I finally had enough and we split up.

Her dad was an elder and verbally and physically abused his wife and children.

Hope4Others

This really amazes me that your daughter to this day even has a relationship with her mother.

hope4others

flipper

Thanks for the replies - Good replies by the way ! I'll reply.

CoCo- I'm sorry your former spouse never allowed you rest and relaxation time or down time to recharge your batteries. I too was made to feel guilty for missing meetings going hiking, camping, or some other occasional venture. You are right - we were in a high demand organization that DID NOT understand the need for any rest or relaxation. Nobody needs to be on the run 7 days a week. I'm glad your life is easier now my friend.

HONESTY- Sorry you went through enduring screaming and physical abuse friend. I know how you feel. Her dad was abusive ? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. One time my ex-wife threw the Bible at me - literally !

HOPE 4 OTHERS- I believe my youngest daughter has become just like her mother. So she excuses that kind of behavior- even though it was done to her ! Cut from the same cloth emotionally - to be verbally abusive and manipulative. My older daughter is sweet, and more real, authentic and loving. The chain has to be broken by someone

JK666

Yes I have!

How about the psychobitchfromhell3? Once, in the brief span of time we lived together, we were having carpet laid in our house (hers prior to the marriage, mine I never sold because she was too nuts). I get home from work on a Friday night, and I hear that the carpet layers (JW's of course) couldn't finish laying the carpet because the floor in her modular's living room was rotted. They wanted to finish the job on Monday!

She had one of the biggest fits that you could imagine because I missed Saturday service and Sunday meeting to rip out and repair the flooring. That ended up being the final straw, before I left for my house and a separation. (and I ended up paying to carpet the entire house of hers). Just call me a sucker, and her a psychobitchfromhell.

That story is just one of many, I will skip the one about her hitting me with her car in a fit of anger.

JK

flipper

JK- My friend - you and I have had similar histories of somehow in our past- attracting psycho %itches from hell at times ! Just for pulling out your ex's carpet and missing service and a meeting she had a caniption fit ? Wow. You never told me about the car hitting incident . My god, I'm glad you're around to tell the story ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

loosie

it sounds like she had more issues than just mind control going on. It's nto very often that the elders reccomend that someone go to a "worldly" physciatrist (sp)

Quirky1

Most of the time I just got attitude. But there was a time that I missed just to finish up some work with my NonJdub Bro. We ended up drinking a lot of beer. Upon my wifes return it turned into a screaming hissy. I and the kid's tried to cal her down but couldn't do it. She took out of the garage with the door half open and hit the garage door with a new car. Put a scratch in the car and bent the garage door and they are like that to this day. Even though they are not very noticeable.

After her departure and return again my daughter tore into her and told her how uncalled for it was. I believe she even told her to get some medication??? That didn't set well...my daughter thinks she may be a little bipolar???

She still has her emotional times. It is kinda f'd up.

flipper

LOOSIE- Yes, my first wife did have more issues than just mind control going on. I truly believe she was definitely Bi-polar, but I guess we'll never know. Till this day at age 47, she is still a fanatic witness who refused to be treated for any alleged " chemical imbalance. " I can't tell you how many fellow witnesses she has driven crazy with her antics.

QUIRKY- Wow! You sound like you have a wife like my ex ! LOL! Ramming the garage door ?! Jeez. I am glad you and your brother got the jobs done though. I'm sure having a beer or two helped you deal with the stress of the situation as well. Kudos to your daughter for standing up for what's right and confronting her mom ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Any Have Witness Spouses who Freaked Out When You Missed Meetings ?

Share this